Are you a cosmic minimalist?
Why did you pick up a surfboard and get into the game? Maybe you wanted to sex a tan girl, maybe you wanted to tame the ocean.
Or, maybe, like me, you were attracted by the sport’s cosmic minimalism. Get a board and you have the key to unlocking a lifetime of dazzling experiences, incomprehensible mysteries revealed and so on.
If I can surf in trunks, and if I can avoid wearing a legrope, I will. Me, a board and a wave. It don’t get much better.
But I take ditching the leash seriously. Surf’s gotta be kinda empty and with no bumps on the face to surprise. For the duration of the session, I straighten out holding both rails and there are no flyaway airs.
I figure, we’re all citizens of the earth. Sometimes you gotta smother your own pleasures for the good of the whole.
For the past five or so years, a substrata of surfers have been pushing the retro logging thing to its authentic roots by completely shucking the leash. Look at the tail on the hipper looking logs kicking around and there won’t even be a plug to tie a leash onto.
But who can blame ’em, these beautiful boys in their billowing shirts and with the long balayaged hair? It’s like installing retractable seatbelts in that sixties wagon. Yeah, it’d make it safer, but it kills the vibe and the aesthetic.
Of course, flying through the windscreen of your old wagon kills nobody but you; a leashless ten-footer bisecting the face of a kid riding a softie in the shore break, well, that’s an issue, I suppose.
And so I wonder,
Does the thrill of leashless logging outweigh the smallish chance of someone else getting hit? And a stud who does get a face shot, isn’t he partially responsible for not diving under the loose board? Perhaps it might be a wakeup call, an incentive to examine the lineup more carefully?
And doesn’t a surfer who ride leashless have an incentive to not wipeout and, ergo, becomes a better surfer?
So, Real?
Or no?
Faux?
Only good surfers should surf without a leash; non-experts should not go leashless.
Only if its a pumping shore break or 10ft plus puerto should you go leashless… otherwise wear a fucken leash.
“kills the vibe and the aesthetic”, there it is right there, form over function, just like a log in 2017
no leashes on longboards wen it under 2ft. Anything over 2 ft you shouldn’t b on a longboard anyway.
if you are willing to pay for the plastic surgeon for the other guy, and time off work … or their funeral? Have kids, send them out and see how appealing a leggy is.
I have deep hate for leashless logs in crowded lineups. Deep.
Pray tell how your SUP attire and lesson/adventure was? Or are we waiting for a complete article? Am bored at work need some fillers for the da,y and no surf either!!
Friends don’t let friends get bored at work. This is a rule.
Heh, I really have no idea what this week’s story will be about. Which, is maybe part of the fun? Idk. I mean, fear is a good motivator and stuff. Also, coffee. This week’s column brought to you by coffee and fear.
So hurricane Irwin fucked off into the sea and there wasn’t all that much swell down there in SoCal. Some, but not like, giganormous, which was the original forecast. There was no SUPing! I am not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed by this outcome. But it does keep my streak of no SUP and no yoga — and definitely not both at the same time — alive.
There was a surf lesson. I wore a full suit! O’Neill, black, men’s. Then I went surfing. And was reminded just how fucking bad at lefts and beach breaks I truly am.
I am now happily back home in right-hand point break land where I will stay. It’s only two months until winter, right?
Fuck.
Well that was an excellent start – I look forward to the write up!! SUP and Yoga together is inertia territory so don’t go there – unless on the merits of yoga on a SUP sans bikini stuff to keep us interested!!!
I am busy scrolling surf reports – sth swell coming so am going to get waves/ and snow reports so can try to wrangle couple days boarding on work time of course!!
My mate from LA is still sending me photos of him skiing mammoth tho it is looking a little “far gone” now BTW!!
I feel like maybe we’ve gotten all the mileage we can out of doing the SUP for the time being. It is maybe time to wave good-bye and move on.
To what, I have no fucking idea.
Maybe that is an idea right there. Should pro surfers refrain from fucking 2 weeks before competition? Professional fighters like boxers, UFC etc. have tried and true discipline to refrain from having sex before fights. The idea is that being in full testosterone rage before a fight is great for athletic performance.
Santa Cruz?
Ha! No, I wish. I am such a fan of that place.
Its all too real when it ploughs through the back of your skull.
Anyone riding a foamy deserves to get hit in the face with a real board. Consider it kook dues.
Personally I don’t see the big deal with being strapped to your board, long or short. I also don’t have a big issue with kooks and kids on the inside. But my opinion don’t mean shit! I live in Canada, so the surf is weak, the waves are nearly empty and if you smoke a kid with your driftwood the parents are apt to apologize for getting blood on your board.
Horse bolted long ago here and it’s gals who are the most militant purists. Can gals have the belugad, belayaged hair?
There’s a school of thought that First Point at Noosa is a good place to learn long boarding, then you move out to the further points leaving it to the beginners. Not that it happens. Place is overrun with knobjockeys acting like one-eyed despotic rulers in the land of the optically challenged. And that’s just the wimmin…
Yes! This is a style choice women can have! The belayage, I mean.
I should google, I have no idea.
anyone surfing a $1300 log has very good incentive to not lose the board and be proficient at board control, reading the wave, etc…
as for kids and tourists waddling around in their own piss on the inside, velzy would tell em “get out of here or we’ll run over ya”
No leash. Only option. If you need a leash, you’re on the wrong board given the conditions.
The other way to look at it is if people are swimming because they suck, one less 10′ log hogging waves.
Not wearing a leash so you can traipse up and down a log at least serves a purpose.
So perhaps the question is: should you be traipsing up and down a log at all?
A rule where I surf in Mex is first time you lose it… okay. A mistake. Second time, you paddle in, your board isn’t there. Gone. It’s a good rule. I had the privilege of chatting with Peter Cole years ago, he told me, “The leash has ruined surfing…” I think he was right, back then, but I doubt he feels that way today.
Stealing someone’s surfboard is much worse than riding a board without a leg rope you knob.
When hanging on the beach or about to paddle out I love the look on the leashless random when I walk down from the bank to retrieve their lost board only to run it up and put it on the dunes. ‘Didn’t want your board to get damaged’ I’m always thinking of others cause I’m a nice guy.
Leashless logging, for sure. Leashless grovelling, for sure. Leashless Puerto, for sure. Solid surf at my local, I’m strapped..I enjoy not having to pluck my broken board from the rocks/cliff/jacks. If you are on a noserider you definitely shouldn’t use, Just avoid crowded joints. Nobody likes the fat guy sitting on the outside on a weapon of mass destruction, No one. Probably even himself.
This. If you have ever ridden a log you’d know that the vast majority of manoeuvres you can do on them is severely hindered by the thick and generally inflexible urethane cord attached to your ankle. Remove and feel the freedom.
Derek, the only man in surfing who knows what “balayaged” means. Kudos.
Two issues recoil and when your trying to get into critical positioning your usually stomping on the leash, in big Mex you don’t wear a leash, you could lose an eye.
Agreed. The recoil on a heavily glassed single fin log attached to your leg is deadly.
Ever seen a tourists knee pulled in two at chuns,I have,lol
I’ve done that.
10 years ago I had a problem with my right ear and wasn’t supposed to surf until an operation could be done. 12 months out of the water wasn’t an option for me so I bought a long board and surfed a few slow breaks in my area figuring I’d fall off less and therefore wouldn’t get water in my ears. Real soul destroying stuff. This was a time just before hipsters but leashless kooks were definitely surfacing. What did I find from 12 months on a log? Single fins are boring, bottom shape matters, rocker is good, riding the nose can be achieved by wearing a leash and leashes stop fuckwits losing their boards. Ever heard someone call a leash a kook cord? Pretty sure it’s code kooks who can’t work out how to use a leash.