Back To Top
Beach Grit

J-Bay: The Curse of the Promo Video!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

World number 1 Wilko performs badly on day 1! Whose fault is it?

The world’s best surfers have returned to the world’s best waves with the world’s best announcer back in his rightful place next to the world’s best color man. That’s right! Turpel n Pottz! Joe Turpel n Martin “Pottz” Potter! How much did you miss their dance? Their conversation? Their florid call of the watery ballet?

If I was the World Surf League, I would use my Santa Monica studio to make the world’s best buddy movie titled Turpel n Pottz Go to the G20!┬áSynopsis. Turpel n Pottz are on their way to South Africa to call the 2017 Corona beer J-Bay Open when their plane is accidentally diverted to Hamburg, Germany. A series of hilarious mishaps ensue and the duo eventually end up with the world’s most powerful leaders, solving problems with simple but effective solutions.

It would be a hit and it is exactly what the World Surf League should do but what they are doing is making promotional videos that curse their number ones.

The latest victim? Matt Wilko Wilkinson!

The current number one’s bit is title Crack! Now He’s #1 and goes, “No one saw Wilko coming until we heard the crack of a new world number 1 now he’s marching to JBay with everyone’s undivided attention.”

Well, he proceeded to lose and lose big time in his heat vs J-Flo and Patrick Ewing.

Jeremy Flores looked very good on his waves, even claiming in the middle of one, and Patrick looked ok but Wilko looked bad, netting two low scores in gorgeous surf.

And don’t you think it is the Curse of the Promo? It has taken both John John and Jordy down and I think there is some scientific truth here.

What else happened at J-Bay? Oh I don’t want to spoil Steve Shearer’s magic but hint:

Kelly has something to prove, John John didn’t fail, Parko, Gabs gonna win it all, Jordy did fail.

And we’re back!