At what point do you tell a local to fuck off, for instance?
The other week I wrote an article about Surf Europe magazine hating Spain.
When I realised no one had understood it, I began to wonder: am I too smart for BeachGrit or does my writing suck?
Anyway, this morning I was out at a Spanish beachbreak, feeling self-conscious about my fanboy-red Reynolds-shortarm steamer (since I snapped my ACL I no longer surf at the level such a wetsuit requires).
This embarrassment, plus the fact that I’m not a local, meant that when a bald man paddled aggressively past me to catch the best wave of the set I kept my mouth shut and let him have it.
Despite the cuckold, I accepted my status as a flamboyant nobody.
To take my mind off the sudden injustice, I turned my thoughts to BeachGrit, becaming so engrossed with Storm Boy’s constructive criticism of my writing debut —“Fuck me dead you cunts will publish just about anything”— that I almost missed the snake paddling back out and settling down next to me, without acknowledgment.
For the next twenty minutes, with every wave Señor caught, my resentment grew. Tired of picking up scraps, I returned to the outside peak to wait my turn, an immovable red object against a backdrop of onshore three-footers and bemused Spaniards.
Finally, finally, it was my turn to go a semi-decent righthander.
Señor had other plans, and tried to snake me again at the last minute. He wasn’t getting away with it this time though, and we both ended up paddling out to meet the wave. As if noticing my presence for the first time, he snarled and swung around, thrashing over the tail of my board to get to the inside.
Kicking up a bunch of water in my face, I decided to grab his leg rope.We both missed the wave and he began waving his arms.
“Que haces?” I asked.
“What am I doing? What am I doing!? What the fuck are you doing?!!” he screamed in Spanish.
“You paddled straight across me”.
I gestured at the mangled tail of my board.
“Bullshit! You were staring out at sea! I paddled first!”
He spat.
“I was in the perfect spot, waiting for the wave to come to me. I had priority”.
Was it worth trying to reason with someone like this?
“Prioridad? Hah! Prioridad en tu casa…”
Priority? he laughed — priority in your house.
I refrained from pointing out there wasn’t a house in sight and went home shaking. Never have I got such a kick out of surfing mediocre waves.
Tell me your thoughts.
- If you show respect but get none in return, does that warrant a revenge snake/drop in/leash pull?
- Is a subtle snake any better than a blatant snake?
- Is learning to snake and not-be-snaked a mark of your experience and skill level or a reflection of how greedy and self-entitled you are?
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Heck yah, you waited too long. I would have snaked him earlier. I got vibed like that at my local spot and the kid wanted to throw down on the beach. I paddled away, not worth going to jail over it.
I love this thread. 83 comments and counting. That’s gotta be a record and needs to be added on BG Hall of Fame Best Articles category
I let blow in’s get waves unless it’s a good one. It’s just local tax.. when it happens to me in Hawaii or wherever I just run with it. If your the visitor deal with it
Snaking is up there with a blatant drop in and is punishable by death unless of course i am the offender. I am a local absolutely EVERYWHERE!
Fuck all the guys and gals that don’t show normal etiquette and can snake other people but if you snake them they try to get al MMA in the lineup. At that point it’s all about taking #OtherPeoplesPeaks
They do it all without regret. They shout openly, menacing the first guy who jumps into a wave fairly with priority. The worst are those who do that in front of they’re own kids…creating a clone of himself that will do the same in the future….
Absolutely. It’s one thing to prevent your friends from getting the best waves. But to lose that opportunity to some blow-in. Yesterday at a small peak, this bloke paddled up optimistically… and paddled away 15 minutes later without getting a look-in. Arseholes united will never be divided.
No, no not that steaming turd! We walked the rug with Ben Stiller, Meg Ryan and Robert Downey Jr. International, rich assholes. Have I risen in your esteem? From nothing to a little bit of something?
Let me guess, Lance Burkhart…we’re test marketing plots for North Shore 2: The Spanish Bugaloo?
My feedback…movie will suck.
Reading this, I’d imagine it’s A-Ok to snake the author at every opportunity.
vete a la mierda en bote <3
killo, no sabes ni usar el google translate.
It all depends on where you are surfing. A super crowded beach break demands energy, hustle, and aggression. Especially amidst a pack of groms between the ages of 16-19. Your heart rate should never reach a normal resting level during those sessions.
Always mate your dogs
I would have slapped the paella out of him.We have Crips,Bloods,M.S., 18st and Harpys here in West Adams L.A. after surviving 50 years of that you think I would let ONE kook get away with that? LOL
I blame your moustache. It clearly put him in a bad mood from the start.
Mr booth if you don’t want to be snaked stay home in California who you snaked off the Spanish who snaked it off the Indians
1. Yes
2. You missed it??
3. Yes
4.Yes and Yes
You had priority? I laugh at you in as many languages I know! Which is pretty much one.
Whenever you wear a red wetsuit– you absolutely deserve whatever negative crud you get….
10s and 10000 points and $100000?
I’ll take two.