John-John-Florence
Can you imagine the spiny stories John John's gonna be telling in twenty years? | Photo: @surfroast

Quiz: What was your greatest surf moment?

Come to daddy and tell a little surf story.

One thing about surfing: to know it is not necessarily to love it.

With the possible exception of golf, there ain’t a game as able to deftly erase a man’s esteem, confidence, identity and sense of athleticism like surf.

How many times a week do you surf? Once, twice, every day?

All those sessions over all those years. The bad, the very bad, the ok, the sorta ok, the kinda good. Onshore, onshore, a little wind swell here and there.

Around it goes until…

Those moments.

I estimate that I’ve surfed 3640 times, each session around an hour long.

And isn’t it just surf to think, how many of those precious moments have I gathered, how many waves do I remember?

I’ve got a handful: surfing a wavepool at midnight under a full moon in the Canary Islands, dropping in on a pal and landing one of the five straight airs of my life, a tube in front of Little Groyne Kirra that was clocked by a former top five pro surfer who told me, on the beach, he thought I was dead.

And, another tow moment, a ten-foot day at a Sydney reef near Narrabeen.

Bigger than anything I wanna be near or, given my big-wave experience, anything I should be near.

I let go, the wave throws and all I want to do is straighten out.

It’s too big, too round, requires too much commitment.

But I don’t want to be cleaved in two by the lip either.

With legs that are quivering and a feeling of such aloneness that I might actually cry, I turn into the tube. It throws further than anything I’ve ever seen. I’m screaming and my arms are thrown instinctively above my head. I fly into the channel, pumping my fist in the air like an alt-right hooligan. My two buddies on the ski are nowhere, gone hunting peaks around the headland.

All that drama, and such a potential story, without a witness? Can you imagine the desolation?

And after all those sessions? Travel? Money spent, time squandered? That’s all I got? One shit story?

And you?

All your sessions? All your travels?

What do you remember?

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
38 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago

Na just lies mate I’m still banned just tried again. Thanks for your support

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago
themostloc
themostloc
8 years ago

Discovering a secret spot hidden in plain sight when just the right combo of tide/ swell/ wind occurred. Been surfing it nearly alone for about a decade since 😉

Dennis Commentary
Dennis Commentary
8 years ago

Tb gave me a wave yesterday arvo when he was on the inside. He said go maate in a semi excited fashion. I felt like an excited little grom again

Carlos Vilar
Carlos Vilar
8 years ago

You made an air at Siam Park?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Carlos Vilar

No airs for daddy at Siam. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

longtom
longtom
8 years ago

yeah baby. thats punk

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

Surfing with dolphins north coast NSW – every wave they caught with me then swam back out as I paddled then waited till I went again – all over 2 hrs. Before the days of more portable video cameras/ phones etc – would have been famous on Instagram youtube etc
But awesome experience!!

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

what I find most extraordinary about surfing is not the stories we know and tell each other but just how many stories we don’t know and will never know.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

– complete history of humans /forebears.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Do you mean the story of the 6 year old kid who single handedly delayed boogie boards coming into Australia for about 5+ years?

Early 70s, holiday at Caloundra, Sunshine Coast. Distant relative also holidaying with us turns up with an original Tom Morey booger board*, that he had been given with the option of becoming the Australian distributor. Gave it to me for a test drive. My feedback was along the lines of “Nah, I’d rather be on a surfboard”**. As a result, he declined Tom’s offer and lost millions.

I like to see myself as the boy with his finger in the dyke.

*One of the real spongy ones that just about folded in half due to lack of stiffness. I figured surf mats pretty much had the market cornered on soft spongy surf riding implements.

**At this point in my life, I’d never been on a proper surfboard. Would have been the grommy in the shorebreak on the 4″ thick coolite board. Even at that early stage, I knew.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

this is exactly the kind of silent heroism I’m talking about.

Tom House
Tom House
8 years ago

the golf analogy that’s more appropriate is that, like your life-defining barrel, the best golf shot in the world sustains you for mere moments. the moment it is done, you want another.

AM
AM
8 years ago

Trying to pull in backhand, no grab, thinking i was Andy at double overhead ulus off the peak and getting clipped and pulverized.

Which reef near Narrabeen?

Tom
Tom
8 years ago
Reply to  AM

Gotta be either makaha or back bombies at Longie I reckon? Dez?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Not real sure of the name. Mongos, maybe?

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

North of Narrabeen or back to Long reef headland? There is at least 6 tow in spots around long reef for sure

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

I went surfing once…

Funtclaps
Funtclaps
8 years ago

“Kamwela you mother fukkah .” was all I heard as I rented the house across from Foodland on the North Shore. This was in the 90’s when shit was kinda radical.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

Once you see that loaf as a large veiney penis it’s impossible to see it as a baguette.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

How will I ever enjoy Brie again you prick?

wincy
wincy
8 years ago

I posted a comment on an article on a surf related website and got some upvotes my spine tingled. Then the nurse came to roll me over.

turts
turts
8 years ago

I tend to get over excited after a surf of late and every session becomes the ‘the best session ever’. Just came in from an onshore sesh in Perth convinced I was unstoppable.
I call it Pat O’Connell syndrome

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

Paddled into a 4′ sand grinding death pit because a mate had injured his knee, couldn’t surf, swam out with one of those disposable water proof cameras. Wouldn’t have touched it otherwise. Just as the lip threw over me, I noticed my mate pointing the camera towards the beach, away from me. Get drilled, impact the sand bank and churned for about 15 seconds. Sand keeps appearing for days later. He just didn’t want to have a record of a good surf that he missed out on…

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

A rotten, good mate

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago

SE Qld point, sizeable and lined up. Max 5 other mmmm ‘non-committed’ surfers total. 4 hour session. Everyone asking where everyone else is. Magic step up board. Sideshow of watching guys getting fragged doing mistimed rock offs in the lulls. Haze of stoke for days

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

That photo of Old John John is a dead ringer for my neighbour. I cant stop staring at… my neighbour! Hello Jamie!

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

One hour sessions? Takes me twice that long to drive there. But I am no man’s kook or cuck, well maybe cuck on the right swell direction

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago

You may as well have waived Kryptonite under his nose. I’m guessing the year was 2010.

longtom
longtom
8 years ago

nah, Kelly loves Dane …never lost a heat to him. Thats why he was always so happy to have him around and call him the “best surfer in the world”…..because then, by simple logic he was…

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago

I found the best shitter shaped rock formation to launch an aqua loaf before I paddled across to Straddie. Lightest paddle ever.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
longtom
longtom
8 years ago

I jumped off that rock after getting cucked and having to move out of gals place in Mermaid beach.
Fucking ridgeback/bull mastiff cross owned by my cuz jumped in after me and almost drowned me. I had to punch it in the head to calm it down and get it back on the rock. Heaviest rock off ever.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Isn’t the world a small place!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Sounds like some of the bullshit I spin. Full of it mate.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago

Go for a surf. Tell the gf some spin bs

longtom
longtom
8 years ago

you got that right

Samuel Hall
Samuel Hall
8 years ago

No way! You’re the rock poo man. I remember seeing your poo before we paddled over as well. Who would’ve thought one poo could stay in so many peoples memories.


38
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x