Just in: See John John nude!

The world's best surfer strips!

The current best surfer in the world is John John Florence. Can we all agree? Can even Brazil agree that it would have taken a few miracles and many nods plus winks from the judges in order for Gabriel Medina to surpass him? The 25-year-old just clinched his second world title and, with nine more, will tie Kelly Slater. The world is his oyster and it appears that he has chosen to cruise it.

That’s right. John John Florence is a the face, or rather backside 360, of the Celebrity Cruise Line. The perceptive David Lee Scales from SurfSplendor noticed this video and let’s watch it together then discuss.

Celebrity Cruises Sail Beyond Event

Whoa.

I was sort of expecting to discuss norovirus outbreaks or something but did you see that? John John Florence completely stripped of any and all branding? No Hurley no Pyzel no… nothing. Completely nude.

Whoa.

How does that make you feel? Like you shouldn’t have looked? Like weird? I will say John John strips down the branding more than any other professionally sponsored surfer. I only used Hurley and Pyzel as the examples above because those are the only brands I see on his surfboard. Does he have any others? Is it good value to professionally sponsor a surfer without receiving branding?

Hmmm.

I suppose as the rooms in which one has made love have come to resemble one another so sex becomes currency. Ergo, it is not difficult to envision the single permissive standard as a free market for sex, a species of primitive capitalism where the entrepreneur with the most skill and enterprise and sexual funds could reap the highest profit – the adoration of countless mates and mistresses in that ubiquitous bixsexual world where men and women are as interchangeable as coin or cash.

But what do you think?

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longtom
longtom
8 years ago

I don’t understand the last para.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Couple guesses:
1.) Chas is begging for a #metoo comment;
2.) Chas is starting a cryptocurrency called Bixcoin for the XXX sexual world rooms;
3.) Chas’ post ski sesh muscle relaxers kicked in right around the beginning of that paragraph.

chooka
chooka
8 years ago

why has Stab not touched the Lydie + Pat Tenore story????

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
8 years ago
Reply to  chooka

Where’s the story? So she hooked up with someone else 7 or so years after her husband died. What do you want – a public stoning?

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago

public nudity?

Seas Nail
Seas Nail
8 years ago

He just gave everyone a RVCA team contract and it was all gravy.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago

Pubic toning

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

De-stickerage likely been done in post, as possibly unknowingly using JJF as a random surfer in stock footage.

Beach Grits n Eggs
Beach Grits n Eggs
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

this is the correct answer. standard practice in most commercials.

Bin_Chook
Bin_Chook
8 years ago

This is the post equivalent of this:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… And you got me.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Is this an ad for a gay celebrity cruise? Did i see gabs on that boat?

J H
J H
8 years ago

Also…I like Stance socks. I’ve been in many meetings around the world where people have commented.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Word. If you were not appraised already you can wear them with birkenstocks or crocs. Very complimentary.

J H
J H
8 years ago

Umm…yeah…no birkenstocks or crocs. Ever.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

How about socks and zoris?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I had to look up zoris’. Fuck yes. These would work for my next trip to bondi.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

You gotta hand it to a human who wears Crocs. Literally does not give a fuck.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

I got a free pair at the John John movie premiere a few years ago. Fuckers hooked me.

J H
J H
8 years ago

Any of you homos touch me…and I’ll kill you.

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Stripes?

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

Yes, sir!


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