John John Florence's father comes swinging in!
The internet is a singularly fantastic thing and mostly because it doesn’t forget. Every little thought, idea, photo, story deposited into its fertile loam stays there forever. Like the ex-girlfriend you thought you could delete from Facebook. Like Derek Rielly’s John John’s dad just wrote a tell-all book from three years ago. Would you like your all-to-human memory jogged?
Ain’t nothing worse than a middle-aged man who throws away the last vestiges of his dignity. Some men’ll fly the coop from their families to chase long-evaporated dreams; others’ll fool ’emselves into thinking that 20-year-old high-ass-and-pussy combo ain’t just chasing ’em for their money.
And John Florence, the 45-year-old estranged father of John John, Nathan and Ivan, has sunk to a remarkable nadir with a 69-page self-published Kindle-only book currently for sale on Amazon.
The book is the work of a man who’ll happily tell you he got too many blows to the head as a kid and who was so rad he was always doing something to “give me that warm fuzzy feeling of fear and/or ‘Now you fucked up.’”
It’s a book that attempts to be part adventure (swinging through Europe on expired credit cards), part street-lit (dealing coke and weed) and part redemption (I just gotta stay away from the booze!).
F.E.A.R (Yeah, that’s the name) fails because the writer can’t shuck off the ego that inflates the story.
Derek then goes on and posts excerpts from the book before suggesting you purchase Mom John’s memoir instead.
Three years ago is so so so ancient and you likely were unaware of BeachGrit. One person, Radical_Dude_33 commented “Cringe.” And that was it. That was all.
Until last week.
During that magical time between Christmas and New Year’s John John Florence’s father, John Florence, apparently found the story and decided to comment too.
Soak in that illusion bro… you aren’t very bright are you…. that or oblivious to the truth… perhaps your blinded by the tits?….lol
It’s really him, seeing as his only other post is to advertise the book elsewhere and do you think he is right? Is Derek’s critical review born out of being blinded by Mom John’s tits? Or is John’s comment the last last vestiges of his dignity?
Elder John? You are clearly there. Can you tell me about your dignity?
Interesting that John John and Kelly both had derelict fathers. Is that an ingredient in making a world champ?
Being the filthy degenerate that I am, I sure hope john john is helping his dad enjoy his retirement!!! If I ever fathered a world champ I would need a royalty check for Donating that particular load!!
Was wondering what Kelly was going to do to take some shine off John Johns 2nd world title. He dug real deep on this one.
I think I remember reading about a few other world champs who also dealt with a broken home situation. Overcoming that pain can be a strong motivator, apparently.
But pipedreams was a 200+ page turner.
If JJF didn’t shred, there would be NO DISCUSSION! ….think people….
I needed to Google image search Momma Florence to get reacquainted with her tits. While they still look like decent, breast-shaped breasts, I wouldn’t consider them blinding. I didn’t even find it necessary to lower the brightness on my phone. I believe Single John holds the memory of her tits in a higher regard than I do.
Single John must also remember that he, perhaps, was the one most affected by her tits.
It bums me out when someone badmouths mom John.
I’ve deleted a ton of lame unoriginal Mom John comments over the years out of respect to mothers in general.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
‘Blinded by the teets’, is Slaters new food biography about his abstinence from dairy and slow decent into veganism.
Veganism breaks up homes. That’s the lesson here
Just watched premium violence again. Insanity.
A 69 page autobiography? Single John either ran out of ink or his life to date is scintillatingly dull and empty.
Should’ve been an 86’d page autobiography.
Alcoholic losers have pretty slim resumes in the life story department
Bukowski, Faulkner, Thompson, Joyce, Capote, Williams. All famous piss tanks who could spin a decent tale!
Not sure J Florence has a seat in that pantheon you cited, but whatever, your call…
He’s moving in the right direction!
Next stop.. Stockholm.
We can only hope!
Not losers…get that?
No, winners! If there was an Olympics for talented pissheads, these men would be triple gold medalists. ‘Cept Bukowski and Thompson may have troubled the drug testers…
Bukowski, Pedro Juan Gutierrez and Loui Lamour are my all time favorites. I know lamour doesn’t fit but still awesome.
I would call this a low point but that would only encourage you Chas.
JJF’s dad coming out of the woodwork! Hardly! It’s just an appetiser to what’s coming.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
He must have missed out on the ‘dad drinking on the sponsors dime’ deal.
Whoa, bro, 9+ notifications?! I think the most I ever had at one time was like 4 or 5…
also, John doesn’t have time, he has taken your sage advice and is already on his way to Kathmandu.
P.S. Extra points to him for using “lol” non-ironically… lol
Right, how many of the commentariot got excited when they thought the 9+ in the red dot was for them, and then realised it was Chas’ screenshot?
Humble brag looking for praise next to Derek’s well written critique. 😉 The quoted work could have as easily been written about this young man:
It’s a book that attempts to be part adventure (swinging through Yemen on JC Surfboards), part street-lit (dealing coke and weed) and part redemption (I just gotta stay away from the booze!).
Some sadists leave the up-votes notifications left on.
I see you with that “commentariot” spelling. Kisses!
i did get excited when i saw the 9+…….
i did clicked on it…
John John’s dad, I would really advise you to stay low. Much classier act. Way mo betta karma.