Are you terrified of being eaten alive in the surf?
Yesterday, a news piece hit the wire of two frolicking children being surrounded by a couple of Killer Whales or assassin whales (Ballena asesina) as the Spanish like to call ’em.
It’s a hell of a good show. Panicked yells of “Stay still! Stay still…stay still!” provide the soundtrack as the two Killer Whales swim towards two kids who cling to each other for dear life.
Watch here.
Afterwards, newspapers were quick to assure swimmers that the Killer Whale poses no threat to humanity. Very few recorded attacks and so forth.
And that is mostly true except for those poor Whales in pools who, eventually and justifiably it might be admitted, turn on their jailers.
(If you’re a sick bastard, click on this.)
I want to ask:
Do you ever contemplate being eaten alive while you surf? Either by shark, whale or whatever else lurks in the depths, maybe a stingray barb through the heart?
Does it worry you? Does it occupy the majority of your thoughts when the sun goes down just a little or is yet to creep over the horizon? When a school of baitfish turns the water black?
Or are you an evolved human being who believes dying doing what you love would be the… etc… etc?
I personally don’t think about it, truly. Having spent the majority of my recreation days in the sea, it’s not something I give much thought. Seen plenty of grey suits cruising through the lineup. Only time I left the water was a surf trip that my crew and I went on to New Symrna. Everyone in my crew got bumped, and someone got bit every day we were there. The mullet run was full on, and the sharks were thick. My encounter was after I rode a wave, was walking back out, had my board by the nose in hand, dove under a wave, and ran smack into the side of the shark. That freaked me out a bit, as the water is so muddy there. All the others were while spearfishing and mostly bull sharks. Having a Speargun aids to fend them off quite well. A good poke and they get the message.
Well it’s better than being eaten alive in a golf course.
Once had a 6′ bitey coming straight at me at ramming speed surfing at Tallows in the late afternoon a couple of years after Marty Ford was taken. Last I saw it was a board length away and i was braced for impact. It swerved away, but it taught me the difference between an actively feeding/hunting shark and the vast majority of sightings of them just cruising around checking the scene.
It’s the ones you don’t see that get ya!
Tallows is a magnet for them though?
No more than any other headland that juts out into the ocean. Whether it’s a real thing or not, it seems to me that where you have a long beach which curves gently ending at the north with a headland is a bit ‘sharky’, same as river mouths. But the reality is that area has had plenty of events nowhere near the obvious hotspots. Could be that sharks are just swimming in the ocean. 30+ years and no attacks since…
More people die on land than in the sea. Fact!
Wait until every town has a wave pool!
Bees, stairs, donkeys, bathtubs, etc, etc. Yeah that’s what I thought too Nick. Until I was electrocuted whilst cutting back when toasting some bagels on the drive to the beach.
Cars! Guns! Opioids! Starvation! Cancer! Rattlesnakes! Terrorists!!!!!
I tell ya we’re safer in the water.
Oh yeah? Bluebottles. *drops mic.
No we are not !
its become increasingly clear the ocean has become a very deadly environment , and the need for wave pools has never been so needed as now , I think every surfer should be taxed per wave with proceeds going towards more wave pools , and all surfers under 40 be sent Pooland !
I’m going to have agree with you nick..As I believed I had my opioid painkillers under control! I ran out 4 days ago! And fk me I wish I was dead…
Very uncomfortable and gaining..
If you know where a fucking killer whale is tell me so I can go and try and die.
Hmm there are less people in the water than on land.. That even makes sence to me.
But they do pose a threat GWS’s , who at present are the only ones keeping the Hysterical Hordes of nearly surfers , well hysterical , so I say, more sea life less land life!
Spearfished here as a kid. PSYCHO EXPERIENCE.
Are you a Kiwi?
Howick born, QLD bred.
Well that explains everything!
New handle, yet knows the history? mmmm…
Oh, you can join my union then. “Kiwi Moderators united”
We’re on strike next week, looking for better working conditions and 95% pay rise.
Fair Work Commission won’t allow it in Australia as it poses to ‘threaten to endanger the welfare of part of the population’.
We’ll have to compare notes one day Dog…
I’m driving from Dunners to Taipa in March. Newman told me you’re the man with all the river mouth notes…
Just say your going home to Gympie husky.
Here’s hoping for some houses washing away flood action then…
I’m in Kaikoura, sing out when you’re passing but I’m in Southern NSW from the 9-18th March, either way I can give you the heads up.
You’d want to seeing we just rebuilt the highway fo yo ass.
Is your bornfresh email active?
Well the train drivers in Sydney pussyed out… Can you stay negative for what you say?
All his cross pollination of commentating between the sites had me feeling left out! I posted at STAB, first time in yonks!
Our sincere pleasure.
I’ve been chased out of the water by a solitary Orca creeping around coming in shallow and trying to flank the line up. I don’t trust those motherfuckers – probably they don’t eat people because they just don’t get a lot of chances. That goes double for one rolling all by itself – what did that deviant bastard do to get itself kicked out of the pod?
If they’re as deviant as dolphins, the act may well have been very depraved
Damn,Depraved Deviate Dolphin’s Demanding Depravity Daily ..
Dirty Dolphins Defy Doctrine, Delivering Delicious Depravity
we might have just created the “D” club , as opposed to the G club!
“D’s up” too much of a boner reference?
might have taken a fancy to you , and just wanted a quick root!
That only marginally better than being eaten, but offered that sort of Shamu’s Choice I would bite down on a sand dollar and close my eyes until it was over.
On my drives/devices, I’ve been meaning to make and label an image folder ‘Please use these if I am eaten by a shark’, and save a couple photos I’d want used on my tradgic news story profile pic. What worries me is the shit squat turn photos, on my friends hard drives, that could be intentionally submitted to news stations.
My wife is naming her folder “control alt delete..”
I grew up in Sydney dreaming of having a pet shark .
I surfed in France for 20years mostly alone and played with the schools of mullet in the rip
On return trips to Oz I try to avoid surfing alone .
Yes.
Lonely Aussie man on the coast of France making friends with mullet? Sounds like the opening scene of a Wes Anderson film 🙂
I wasn’t lonely just hungry for waves . You can’t be accused of being greedy if you surf alone .
That’s for sure! I show up by myself to crowded and localized breaks all the time, and do much, much better than if I came with someone else. Alone I’m only accountable for my own behavior, which I can adjust on the fly as situations unfold. Alone I can foster good will, not from everyone, but from key people a rung or two down the line up ladder, which then gets me conditional neutrality from the heavies. That’s all I need to get a lot of shots at sub-premium waves, some of which turn out to be gems. With even one other person, you’re seen as not two individuals but a group, and you can’t manipulate how others perceive a group nearly as easily (unless you’re a group of females – 3 seems to be the magic number for females to crack hostile line ups and get some waves). SO yeah, alone, that’s the way to get a bunch of good waves on foreign turf 🙂
We were lucky to have 25km of coast with no beach access by car . So basically could surf out the front of the car park with hundreds or walk 500m and surf absolutely alone . In and out of the water travelling alone opens up so many opportunities that those who choose to travel in groups may never get the chance to experience .
Choice but don’t moan to me for being eaten. It’s their environment
I promise you, Peter Ford, I will not, post mortem, moan to you via ouija board, Disqus or any other method of communication, from the afterlife in the event of my death by shark and/or killer whale attack.
Ok enjen!
Their name translates like most non English languages to be whale killers. Surfed with one once, safest I ever felt.
But only if you hurdle the Romantic languages’ arrangement of subject first, adjective second.
Man eating shark . Who is eating who ?
Organic 69!
Those killer whales acted like complete dickheads. They got humans pretty well trained. Scared shitless! Every single one of us! Young to old!
Are you not entertained!?!
You damn dirty whales! Damn you to hell!
Choice
https://www.youtube.com/wat… Shot 2018-01-27 at 4.04.15 pm.png
Was actually thinking of Kev the Kiwi from Fat Pizza…..the choicest!
Would have been a bit fucked if you chose to film your kids as they got eaten instead of dropping it to help even though you would never make it. Bit like the movie Force Majeure
I like how the two guys segue to this being a heck of a life experience. I’m sure it was hard to sell the kids on that one the first few days.
“Your an egg..” if you didn’t know I’m a “Crazy Horse” Derek..
I’m disappointed (again) that killer whales don’t pose a threat to humanity. Although that video gave me some hope.
Kia orca.