Rumor: Beer giant to sponsor WSL!

Let the good times roll?

Man if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Rumor-mongering is a tough business. Sure it feels good to break that story, just ask Stab magazine’s Ashton Goggans‘ alter ego Adjunct Professor (by the way I found out who the Adjunct Professor actually is and it is the most priceless thing ever. Seriously. Like… I’ve been laughing non-stop for four days.) But in order to get that story you have to be amongst it, not writing damned books or skiing in Aspen. That’s why I am the most thankful for you. You share what you hear, I vet then publish.

And here we go. The vetting on this is, I’ll admit, slim but let’s not let that get in the way. A fantastic gentleman emailed:

This morning out near the Venice Breakwater, I heard a guy talking to another guy about Anheuser-Busch perhaps sponsoring the WSL. The guy saying it was only an OK surfer, so it might be legit! (Clearly don’t run with my word but maybe a well-placed call…) Perhaps the WSL is getting its act together? I kid…

A well-placed text is pending but let’s think about this for a moment. You are of course familiar with the famed Bud Tour. It was a surfing series and a young Kelly Slater won many of the events. You also remember the Bud Light Air Shows where Josh Kerr was the champion. You also remember the Bud Light Lime Surf Tour or maybe you don’t but anyhow it existed.

So for Bud, Bud Light and Bud Light Lime’s parent company to get back in the game… well, it’s a rumor that don’t need much vetting at all. And I have a proposal. Anheuser-Bush should also sponsor the brand new Facebook series “Li’l Jam off the Top feat. Longtom n friends” the new BeachGrit show that delves into the anti-depressive side of professional surfing. Or maybe they will be too busy. Maybe we should get a whiskey sponsor. Just think how angry Joel Tudor would be.

Longtom, do you drink whiskey?

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Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

I feel 30 years younger all the time!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago

Oh Mr. Choke… I know that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I know that BeachGrit is, similarly, not everyone’s cup of tea but that is the point. Surf has been caught in an ugly, thoughtless, wildly conservative trap for near two whole decades. Many of brands pumping out misguided junk. Most of the media doing whatever it needs to do/say to get those brand dollars. Derek and I fail lots and every day but we will never roll over and push anything we don’t believe in. So hate all you want but stay. It’s fun.

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago

Yes very close , Australians actually thought it was some kinda energy drink as it certainly doesn’t get you pissed , but by drinking copious amounts of it , you will notice a positive affect , if you want to become a Sumo wrestler !
So, “This Buds for your Budding , Bud Belly!”

Valiant Scorn I'm a robot.
Valiant Scorn I'm a robot.
8 years ago

I guess Nugstrain got over the KK thing.

iHusky
iHusky
8 years ago

Oh hey girlfrand

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago

We can tell by the structure of your rambling comments.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

Wish I could auto-fellate, would’ve saved me a lot of time, effort and money.

Mustard Tiger
Mustard Tiger
8 years ago

Might be time for Cavvy to come back

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
8 years ago

*I wanted to start a subpar website where I spend my weekends commenting about it being a subpar website

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

tourism dept doing it big but airfare from anywhere is what, $1500 US? same problem with SA.

Mikey wrights flowing mullet
Mikey wrights flowing mullet
8 years ago

Corona didn’t want in on this action? Or have the last couple of years made them realise you don’t really need to advertise beer? People drink what they drink.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago

You’re right Chas is a “shitty writer”, but he doesnt fully gobble the industry cock with advertorials and constantly heap praise on mediocrity. The entire surf industry is a joke, literaly built upon the idea of “im cooler than you” Chas’s “shitty writing” multiplies that very sentiment ten fold while farcically throwing it back in their faces. Thus is the genius of Beach Grit and the reason people read it.

Mustard Tiger
Mustard Tiger
8 years ago

Your worst assumption is that any of the Stab commentators read any of the articles

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

Chas is not a shirty writer, shitty winter, whiny shitter…oh fuck, spell check is so eeew.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

My inside source at STAB reported he had something for you… is Chas really a shitty writer? is it just these cut n paste stories that piss you off? Or the aloof higher than thou smugness of the average commentator here? all of the above?

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

i’ll give you 1 to 3 that its the aloof smugness. chokebrain is a man of the people.

Wes Swartz
Wes Swartz
8 years ago

Piss!

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

At what point does “too many” discredit your argument? Far too many? Too too many?

samwaters
samwaters
8 years ago

Even if Budweiser jumped on the band wagon to ‘help’ sponsor the Wsl, they would probably only be paying about a million a year–probably about the same as Jeep is paying. It costs about 30 million a year to run the tour, who would be paying the other 28 million. Yah, you got it right, good old sugar daddy Dirk and Natasha Ziff.

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

how the fuck do they come up with that 30 mil figure? what is that, 3mil per event? does it cost RedBull 3 mil to do that Cape Solander thing?

samwaters
samwaters
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Google it, do the research. Its been pretty well documented. That’s why Quick, Billabog, Rip Cur all bailed on sponsoring contests, they couldn’t afford it any more when the surf market started to collapse. They pretty much gave the rights to the ‘tour’- to the WSL– just to get out of it and the financial burden of it.

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

no, its because the WSL said they couldn’t host the broadcast on their own sites. once the companies had to try to justify the sanctioning/sponsorship fee without driving traffic to their website most of them (endemics anyway) gave up on the model.

samwaters
samwaters
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Maybe what it all boils down to is, the potential audience really isn’t that big. Real surfers don’t want to watch — we want to ride.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

At a regional level we haven’t had Beer sponsors for the best part of a decade. It’s been pretty dull ever since, too much Surfing and not enough hijinks.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

Hey Choke, just out of interest what did Ashton send you?

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I like how there is a line in the sand, I just got accused of being on team BG in a Stab comment. This is funny

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

so, what’s it gonna be, Greasers or Socs?

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Can I just hang on the fence? A double-double agent if you will

Mustard Tiger
Mustard Tiger
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

It’s like the Trump election all over again…. Chas is Hilary and Goggins is….well who the fuck is Goggins

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago
Reply to  Mustard Tiger

His own thing?

Valiant Scorn I'm a robot.
Valiant Scorn I'm a robot.
8 years ago
Reply to  Mustard Tiger

In your scenario,….THE WINNER!

Robinhood
Robinhood
8 years ago

Must be shit over at stab today! The whole team is here.

Robinhood
Robinhood
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

But not new David!

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago

I wish they’d sponsor surf expo.I had to sneak a 5th of Jack in only to find out all there was,was Pepsi. Jack and Pepsi,I mean I was doing coke too,but shit. I was the “third alternate” in visslas bullshit shape off which i might ad… Owner of vissla: “It doesnt mean anything,it doesn’t have to people just buy the shit” by that time I was so faced I figured I’d just drive back to Miami grab another ball and have a real friday night. The industry is being propped up by sock companies,seriously 22 sock vendors and like 12 salty crew knock offs,I’m pretty sure I saw goggans and that stupid fucking banks hat,But I couldn’t feel my face by that point So insults seemed pointless.

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

can i stay with you for the Winter Music Conference in March?

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Why not?

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago

Fuck sounds like I missed another Great show!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Did Gotcha have a tent?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

Arrgghhhhh it’s the Return of the Bud Tour!!

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Cruikshank and Lambresi are chuffed

Student8888
Student8888
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

don’t forget colby outlaw, jim hogan, ted robinson, scott daley and chris brown wrap around.

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  Student8888

patented wrap around

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

whacks it off the top

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

but imagine if it was , The Weeds Bud Tour , now there’s a different Slant on Bud , or convince the Brazilians that own Budweiser to create a new ‘Real Bud for you!”


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