Trump: “I want all sharks to die!”

"I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks."

The enemy of my enemy is my friend, as the saying goes, and today Donald J. Trump became a friend to surfers everywhere. Pillow talk between the 45th President of the United States and his alleged adult actress lover, Stormy Daniels aka Stephanie Clifford, was revealed just moments ago and let’s not waste any more time gabbing. Let’s get straight to one-time magazine Newsweek’s accounting.

President Donald Trump is ‘terrified’ of sharks and hopes they all die, according to adult film actress, Stormy Daniels.

Daniels discussed Trump’s odd fascination with sharks in an InTouch interview conducted in 2011 and released in full on Friday. Daniels has claimed that she had an affair with Trump in 2006.

In the interview, the porn star claimed that during one of her dinners with him at his Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles in July 2006, the TV in the background was playing an episode from the popular television event, Shark Week.

“You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching Shark Week and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history. He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks,” said Daniels.

The adult film actress added that Trump was “riveted” and “obsessed” with the show, despite his fear of them.

“He was like, ‘I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.’ He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It’s so strange, I know,” she said.

But is it really so strange? I don’t think so. I think Donald J. Trump is, as of today, an honorary surfer. All 329 pounds of him.