Australian surfing a “lawless backwater!”

Rampant egos explode without regard!

We are living in chaotic times and while there is much hyperbolic wailing and gnashing of teeths they don’t seem historically chaotic do they? I mean, let’s get real serious for a moment. Let’s put down the placards and step away from the Facebook forums and just get real serious. The third reich ain’t gobbling up Europe, Genghis Khan ain’t standing outside the wall, the Black Plague ain’t wiping out a third of the global population.

Oh sure, a sort of vicious populism is on the rise discombobulating some surfers and sending them to the police’s arms in order to find comfort but maybe these are the smart ones? For a report out of Australia suggests that the ocean is turning uncompromisingly violent.

A bodysurfer in Newcastle, Australia (just two hours north from Bondi) was recently run over by a surfboard between the flags (what we would call “blackball” here in America) and given 30 stitches in his face.

That is a lot of stitches and also prompted soul searching in the local Newcastle Herald:

Urban surf breaks populated by boardriders are largely lawless spaces where rampant individualism and egos regularly explode without regard for others. Despite the marketing malarkey promoting notions of camaraderie and brotherhood, urban surf breaks are not a place for the meek and mild locking arms and humming Kumbaya. As the population of boardriders explodes, and the variety of surfcraft increases, the safe space between the flags will continue to be viewed as fair game by boardriders who view swimmers as mere speed bumps.

Mmmmmm.

“Largely lawless spaces where rampant individualism and egos regularly explode without regard to others…” is going to be enshrined in my Constitution if I ever start a country.

Wait… what were we talking about again?