"They gotta make new rules to contain me!"
The big, bruisy Hawaiian Zeke Lau has a refined sense of humour? Who knew?
In this episode of #TourNotes, the former pro surfer Peter King’s enchanted reading of a WSL event, we are there in Brazil, final’s day, swimming in the competitors’ area.
And it’s here we find the tour rookie, who famously stole John John Florence’s soul at Bells, animated on the subject of his hassling.
“I’ve seen the Zeke roll. I’m just out here making history. They gotta make new rules to contain me. Excessive hassling. I call it just a little love tap. That’s all it is. I love you. Just let ’em know I’m here.”
Contest winner Filipe Toledo is tracked throughout the day, giving children food, delighting in the crowd etc. Griffin Colapinto is dry as anything when he calls, according to Keanu Asing, Filipe’s ten-point air “miniature.”
Sebastian Z says, “My expression was Awwwwww! Griffin’s expression was (making sound of deflating balloon) Pfffft!”
Bliss out for four minutes or so. In English and Portuguese.
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How to be insecure and smug and the same time. Let Zeke and Colapinto show you the way!
i hope mikey wright punches this cunt in the face
I hope mikey wright tangles his mullet and leave a chunk of scalp on a coral reef…
You gotta score Brazilian beach break 1, Kelly’s tub, O.
“I’ve seen the Zeke roll.”
I think he’s saying “rule”, not “roll”. Was there a change in the rulebook?
Is that what he meant? I presumed he was talking about footage (B-roll) of the event. This really is the high-water mark of sloppy journalism.
We hold your low journalism in the highest regard.
It’s all good Dez. I respect how you roll. Or rule. You and Chas are always the first to own a mistake. Commendable. Would never see that shit from Stab. And we all know why. Ego before Honor. That’s how Stab rolls.
I appreciate your leniency. Some days I get dizzy with all the facts and birthplaces and natural footer, goofy footer, role, rule, rookie not a rookie, on tour, off tour etc.
I never thought I’d say this but that contest made me want to visit Brazil. Also, why can’t the WSL make a little mini-vlog before and after the event, like the UFC does? These little tour notes things are interesting but not satisfying. The good stuff happens when the athletes “almost” forget they are on camera. Felipe is just too sanitized for my taste. It seems surfers’ idea of professionalism comes from an alter boy naïveté of what they should act like: why can’t we encourage them to be who they really are? What drives them to be on tour? How do they finance it? Where do they sleep? How do they get around? What kind of music do they listen to in the car? Who do they cruise with? What do they eat? All these questions could be answered in a low-cost vlog, FOR FUCKS SAKE!!
100 percent agree – they should have at least two tour events in brazil. its fantastic.
(plus, now that you can Uber in Rio now its way easier and safer to get around. highly recommend)
the behind-the-scenes stuff should be great but its practically non-existent. imagine a real, full-on version of Hard Knocks but about the surf tour? it’d be great.
for some reason the Surf Industry thinks the people want Nice Guys. No!
The People want danger, sex, conflict, weird characters, heroes and villains and funny sidekicks.
Not sure its fair to put all the blame on the WSL though – gotta look at the surfers themselves. lets face it, these are almost without exception (ADS) privileged, middle-class boys who think a battle means who can paddle better.
notice how the losers never have to face the media after they go down? contrast to the NBA – lebron gets a mic in his face just minutes after the game ends and he has to stand up and face the music. pro surfers are sensitive babies.
Tell ya what I want – is for those clowns in the booth to stop trying to manufacture contrived fucken rivalrys. Seriously – just so they can have bs to talk about.
Joey – you’re the fucken worst at trying to make shit up about nothing.
That’s our job !
You are making too much sense for the WSL to hear what you are saying. Words like yours just get you BLOCKED by the WSL and their tribe of sensitive little petals.
They let so many opportunities slip past in Brazil. Stadium event with passionate spectators and zero vibe translated through the webcast. And yea, you would think with the popularity of Tour Notes they would have built on it, or is PK just useless and lazy?
Does surfing have a Joe Rogan or Charles Barkley character who could record a live summary following each day of the event? Someone who has a quick wit, fearless when it comes to offending the establishment, and possessing a thick skin with a good sense of humor?
Fletcher or Ratboy!
Great idea. Tour Notes is more conservative than a gorgeous 20 year-old virgin. There is very little publicity exposing the personalities of the WSL athletes.They all seemed to be brainwashed by the WSL hand that feeds them a healthy diet of mediocrity. It tames their surfing into something mediocre, their personalities into cookie cutter mediocrity, and the identity of surfing itself into some shameful semblance of what surfing really is-anything but mediocre. It’s embarrassing to read these top tier athletes thanking WSL on social media. We all know WSL have professional surfing monopolized so all these guys trying to make a living doing what they love are forced to bow down to these corporate bloodsuckers. The whole thing seems artificial and manufactured. It could be so much more entertaining. We need an alternative surfing tour that showcases surfing for what it really is instead of trying to copy other athletic leagues. The big money for surfing entertainment is in risk, not imitation. But yeah…a low cost vlog with some pro surfers actually being themselves is a good start to change.
how come no one is talking about how Julian Wilson was underscored in his heat? I just want Zeke to come out and go full bore agro in the Bali line up. He should have a few jam jars before his first heat and turn into the Hulk, all green and a big angry mofo.
Because people neither love or hate Julian, nobody really gives a shit. They do however, want to see his wife’s ass.
Zeke Lau, a 25 year old man with tribal tattoos….how gay.
I don’t think they come off with age. Maybe he should have thought about that we he was younger? That said, what about Potz and his tribals?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
It appears you are suggesting there is a causal link between having tribal tatts and being a world champ. I like where this is heading.
Hey, you may be on to something. Last I heard (over 179 times on the last WSL broadcast) Potz is the ’89 champ.
Let’s defer to the expert on all things ’89 world champ. Astro, thoughts?
I’m flattered and somewhat stunned to be called an expert on anything.
Even if it was meant in jest.
I’d like to thank mum n dad, the wsl for providing such rich and varied material
and BG for hosting the platform so that I might bore people shitless.
And of course, Pottz – the gift that keeps on giving.
But yea – as far as tatts go, meh.
Take or leave em. Don’t really care either way.
There was a guy round here who had a snakes head tatted on the end of his knob.
No shit. He took great delight in showing it to people. Kids included. Fucken Idiot.
He’ll rue the day when it’s called as evidence in his indecent exposure trial.
Yea. Fuck there’s some doozies out there.
He was camping on the beach – police rolled him up and fucked him off.
I’ve heard Kelly’s cock looks like one of Kaipo’s arms.
Upvote
That’s true !
I heard exactly the same thing.
my wife, mom and sis can confirm!!!!!
he was known as lil’ willy when he was young?
for bgj’sake…
In fairness to Pottz he never had a fucken clue.
You’d cut your fucking arms off wouldn’t you? Huh?
That or spend all of my nose beer money on laser removal. Second thought, If I was a former ASP Champ, I would be good with the tats… or just wear long sleeves for life.
What the nose beer giveth, can also taketh away.
First Tatiana was a natural footer, then Bethany came from Maui, now Zeke is a rookie. Next month, NC teaches us how to brush our hair?
Oh you’re right, he’s been here before. Rookie-ish. When I was a child I knew all the sponsors of everybody!
I could really use some tips on how to brush / fashion my receding hairline.
Full disclosure; when the news popped up that Tati was going Brazilian, I wondered if surf journalisming had been reduced to women’s grooming tips.