Jordy Smith says, "I'm tired of spending money to
finish almost last!"
Caught on the hop again. Up in the dark reading
the latest Surfline forecast for Bali and they said unfavourable
conditions all weekend with onshore winds. No matter, I had meat
goats showing up and the fencing had to be staunch, those evil-eyed
motherfuckers will climb over anything.
So once more, I missed the Women’s quarters and got back to it
as the best four heats of the year went down for the Men’s
Tour.
I will say one thing though, because I detest tokenism, an
observation based on Snapper/Lemoore and what little I have seen of
the womens surfing in Keramas. There is now insignificant
difference between genders in the basics of rail surfing
fundamentals. Observe Tyler Wrights second scoring ride in her semi
against Tatiana Weston-Webb and compare with Jordy Smith’s power
turns.
Not a struck match between them.
Thirty-two-year-old power surfing dreamboat Michel Bourez, a man
whose sexual power exudes so strongly through the screen I forbid
my wife from entering the room when he surfs, vs 19-year-old
Griffin Colapinto, whose head bobbling smirk after a big ride may
yet turn out to be the best psych-out weapon in surfing going head
to head in perfect surf. Sheet glass. Tubes, steep walls, cupped
out lips etc etc. A flurry of rides to get started by Colapinto.
Three waves in three minutes. I make two falls going above the lip.
Bourez cooly ices a dreamy tube and power hack combo.
Earlier, we identified the two correct, but contrasting
approaches to Keramas. The Parko line, ie. the
deep-tube-to-full-rail-cutback-back-into-the-bowl, now renamed the
Bourez line, and the hi-fi straight-up-and-over-line, maybe the
Toledo Line.
Griff went Toledo to start, which is great, except without a big
make going back to power surfing looks like a capitulation. Bourez
nailed another scoring ride, fading out of the tube before hacking
viciously.
Griff spiked a set, dreamy tube-ride, couldn’t quite cut the
power line back into the bowl. Needed an 8.51. Was awarded an
8.5. You kidding
me. 13.84 plays 13.83.
Forty-two seconds remaining Griff paddles in gains speed and
throws the tail into the sky.
Falls.
Behind him, as the hooter sounds, Bourez is threading another
perfect tube.
Quarter-final two. The 32-year-old Panda verse the 21-year-old
Mullet. That Mikey Wright grab rail cut-down seems strangely at
odds with the wave after seeing Bourez carve the board right back
through the trim line. He has a tendency to slightly bog through
turns and lose speed. But also an opening turn harder and more
vertical than any other natural foot.
Panda has the best backstory in the League but I find his
incessant micro-pumping between turns, especially the opening turn
a distraction. I think, a board volume problem. He blows the best
tube of the event. The heat is see-sawing. Mikey has the lead then
Panda paddles into an absolutely perfect one with a under two
minutes remaining.
Judges completely over-cook the score.
On the buzzer, ice-veined Mullet Mikey threads a deep tube then
slices and dices.
It’s a winning wave but the previous over-score now puts judges
into the position of having to juice the fuck out of it to take the
heat. Minutes tick by, you can feel the tropical heat. They give
the score.
The passion of the Christ. The passion of Jordy Smith. Passion
fruit, passion play. I see Jordy’s aggression to Gabe in historical
terms, and very much in the negative for him. Julian Wilson called
out Kelly Slater for missing J-Bay one year and threw other shade
his way. Kelly was relentless in learning him a lesson. Gabe will
likewise punish the Passion of Jordy. At Teahupoo, at Pipe. Jordy
just a wrote a cheque that his courage and commitment can’t, or
won’t, cash.
Overhead glassy Keramas plays into 23-year- old Filipe’s hands,
but even more into 30-year-old Jordy’s (Thirty!, can you believe!).
He opens with a back-doored deep tube. The 9.57 is an outrageous
over-score. And that is the heat.
Filipe drops his bundle. He can’t put a clean make
on and resorts to
showy, but phoney turns.
Judges under-score Jordy’s waves to try and even the playing
field but it’s all over. Big turns offer what Strider called,
“breakfast, lunch, and dinner” and Filipe stumbles, the second
Brazilian Title contender in consecutive days to fall victim to the
passion of Jordy.
Jordy attributed his winning form to having become “tired of
losing” to being over “spending a bunch of money to travel to these
places and come almost last.” I see it more as a surfer being
supplied with the perfect raw material to showcase their strengths.
A tour with nothing but head-high righthand reefs and pointbreaks
is a Tour where Jordy Smith is multiple World Champ.
Last Quarter. Twenty-four-year-old Italo Ferreira against
30-year-old veteran Jeremy Flores. Yesterday Pottz claimed no one
could touch the “zest for life” of Italo. To which I might add he
showed a “frenzied, joyous affirmation of life”. I quote because it belongs to
Nietzsche, I think.
Last night, I drove a German gal from airport to Byron Bay. Rock
chick in tight jeans, bangs. Snaggle toothed smile.
She said she was from Rocken. No shit.
I said, “Wow, birthplace of Nietzsche”.
“You like,” she said.
“Love him,” I replied.
“Whats your favourite book,” she challenged.
“Nietzsche contra Wagner,” I responded.
“Ooohh, you do love him”.
“Very much so, shame there was no Happy Ending for him in
life.”
“You prefer a Happy Ending?”
Don’t we all?
Italo got his, after an incendiary performance of backside and
switch surfing. The only criticism that can be levelled by churlish
and probably racist scribes, not me, is that some of his surfing
was so precise and with so much torque and flair it verged on the
mechanical.
Jeremy came back with a deep tube ride and a fins free layback
with the foot ala Tom Curren at a pointbreak south of Durban.
Judges could not deny Italo. Once again, he launched but could not
quite land clean a massive tweaked rotation into the flats. A real
ankle buster. If he greases one in the Final, it’s all over.
Unfortunately, the two best surfers of the event will meet in
the semi’s.
I think, we finish tomorrow? Maybe.
Corona Bali Protected Men’s Quarterfinal
Results:
Heat 1: Michel Bourez (PYF) 16.17 def. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
14.43
Heat 2: Mikey Wright (AUS) 14.93 def. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
14.86
Heat 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 15.34 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 14.40
Heat 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 16.20 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
15.73
Corona Bali Protected Men’s Semifinal
Matchups:
Heat 1: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Mikey Wright (AUS)
Heat 2: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Italo Ferreira (BRA)
