Come try the WSL's comprehensive survey…
I’ve had a visceral hatred of surveys and focus groups and whatever other marketing that presumes the consumer knows what he wants since I worked on a fading men’s magazine back in the early two thousands.
Watched twenty-five grand disappear as I sat behind a one-way window looking at twenty-somethings paw at the mag and say, “Yeah, nah, yeah”, “More girls, maybe”.
Focus groups. Surveys. Bullshit after bullshit.
No one knows what they want until it slams ’em in the face. People will say what they think you want ’em to say or what they think makes ’em look smart. Put hip-hop through a focus group in the disco era and it never would’ve happened. All those great movies that were made on the back of some crazy genius, Raging Bull, Apocalypse Now, The Godfather? Too slow, too opaque.
According to surveys, Mad ol Hillary Clinton was going to be the forty-fifth prez and Britain wasn’t gonna Brexit.
Now, as has been mentioned in the comments, the World Surf League has a survey doing the rounds. And she’s a doozy, as old-timers like to say. Obvs, it’s a feeler to see how we’re coping with the idea of pay-per-view but it also calls for a comprehensive self-examination.
Paired attitudinal statements where you hit a slider,
The little game, below, where you’re asked to respond to the statement “I am an expert surfer” is a curly one ain’t she?
What is an expert surfer? Is it someone who knows how to carry their board, insert their fins in the position suggested on the packaging, stand up on an unbroken wave and combo a couple of turns?
Or is it, as I would think, someone who can, or could before they got too old, take a set at Pipe and beat a small wave to hell. Some sort of shaping skill would help, too.
Kelly Slater is an expert surfer. John John too. Gerry Lopez, I suppose. Barton Lynch.
But a clown fan punching buttons on his laptop?
Other important questions: Do you spend a lot of money on surfing gear?
Are you always talking about surfing with your friends?
Do here! (Fifty percent off WSL merch if you do before October 24, too.)
I am unauthorized to view that page.
Am I not expert enough? Or are all grit readers banned for the survey?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You Grit-Jockeys could do with a survey if it’d help tailor your bewilderingly aimed ads… Today’s selection – stair-lifts, hair-replacement surgery (in Istanbul, specifically), German water-jet surf-board things – ignoring the fact that I’m limber as a snake, not a Turkish slap-head, and have arms.
I mean, after the first three covers: Hakman, BK, Kong, who else were we gonna run?
… “Yeah, nah, yeah.” Um, er yeah… nothing mattered once I spied The Digital Newsroom’s ‘Kuala Lumpur Motorshow: a look at the hottest babes’ clickbait cameo (above) … hotter than hell in a heatwave!
Survey?
What survey?!!!
If you chose “I like the solitude of surfing” would survey just end no – thanks for contributing goodbye?
I’m a peerless expert on surfing.
Am not an expert surfer. At least, shit, I don’t think so.
You guys are so mean, WSL management and investors are doing the best they can.
I was a blowin to the shire and as a kid caught the train 6 stations from Gymea but by the time you got there I had the privilege to have hung and lived in various abodes with some wonderful surfing families in Cronulla .
And loving families they still are JB
Surfing has a particularly skewed definition of comparitive categories. Take waves–‘small’, ‘medium’, or ‘big’? To core surfers, 60% of waves are small, 35% are medium, and maybe 5% are big. Same for ability level: 60% would be ‘beginners’, 35% would be ‘intermediates’ and 5% (at most) would be ‘expert’.
Other sports, skiiing, golfing, etc. aren’t so tightly defined. Just interesting, is all. Or maybe I’m just a #bitterintermediate
Oh man, I am bad at these things, because the questions always feel so transparent to me.
There is a lot going on with this one, for sure.
Tell me, us, your interpretation!
I did like that they opened ithe survey saying this feedback would be going “straight to the WSL top brass!”
Finally, a direct line to ELo!
I laid it all out for him, but was a bit concerned when I listed BG as my primary source of surf content that he would bin my responses.
Pseudo psychometrics courtesy of Artie Ziff / big surfing honchos wanting to know things.. Maybe they’ll buy Skate next! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.”
― Shunryu Suzuki
Variations on a theme . Fade ….
The Sunset Fade to Fame ……….Kong , Fitz and 1/2 of Hawaii
The Snapper Fade to Grey ……….?
you ever notice, atleast in my world, that when someone introduces me to someone else, like at a game or somewhere, they always say “he joe, this is mine.mine.mine… Joe, M.m.m surfs.. .how bout that?” or some other bullshit type of thing.. or they tell them what my work/business is.. always rubs me wrong.. get your lips off me…
I used to think it was bad enough when I was a grom. when you finally get roped into a family thing (these always seemed to coincide with great waves so you surf yourself silly until you old man is honking the horn in the car park and screaming at you to “get your useless arse in the car, we are late because of you and now your mother is upset”) you turn up red eyed and starving. everyone assumes you are stoned. but not today, you didn’t get time. some old aunt starts chewing your ear off about seeing giant waves in a lake somewhere during a big storm, for a moment you think about explaining some basic principles of hydromechanics to her but catch yourself before you do.
now I thought this would get easier as I got older. no. I was very fucking wrong about that. I was at a wedding a month ago and some bright spark decide to do a short write about each person so everyone would get know a bit about each other. mine said I was “a keen surfer”. unfortunately, some great uncle of the bride (financial advisor according to the write up) decide to corner me and bond over our mutual love of surfing. again I fell short and didn’t have the heart to tell him that I didn’t consider I had much in common with his love of his flat water, inflatable SUP. I would have preferred talking about investing in Canadian maple stocks. thank fuck there wasn’t any foil enthusiests there.
it doesn’t get better. it just gets different.
My mum onced asked my sister ( unbeknownst to myself ) when I was an adolescent if I was a druggy because of the red eye starvation syndrome . I woke at 5am , walked 2km with a board , got a train , walked another 1.5 km to avoid being attacked , surfed 6 to 8 hours and had one dollar to buy calories . How the fuck was I going to afford drugs and when would I have time to take them ?
Hah. My mum once accused me of smoking weed, when all I had done was wax my board with Strawberry Surf Wax.
ha!
I knew you’d get it!!
“Surf Journalism” isn’t dead after all
Can you be a kook who was once an expert? Is that a thing?
Which weights St Peter’s scales at the gate?
Could be worse . You could be an expert who was always a kook ?
I’ve almost certainly always was and will be a kook. This was merely temporarily masked by proficiency in wave-sliding while younger.
Don’t sell yourself short brother . I was referring to experts who act like kooks .
Oh no, I’m cheerful about it!
As Dirty Harry sez: “ A man’s gotta know his own limitations.”
Yes that is a thing.
Here’s one thing I do know about surfing: there’s plenty of experts who can’t surf for shit.
surfing is a strange one, there seems to be a lot of coaches (at the CT level) who can hold their own. dog, LE, snake, snips, Tommy whits? judges too. you see it a bit in other sports, but it seems to be a pretty high percentage in surfing. actually, there are quite a few in tennis, rugby league. I fact, disregard my statement, it is clear I am no expert.
Ha ha who else would do that job? Coaches are tour surfers trying to extend the Dream. Judges are good surfers obsessed with trying to understand it.
I’m an excellent fuckwad. That Brice from Nice dude is fucking cool. WSL should’ve hired him instead of that #SUPdork.
Good old Brice de Nice ( Jean Dujardin) . One minute he is taking the piss out of the surfers he met holidaying in the Medoc and then turns up as the Artist and walks away with the big one ( no not a world title an Academy Award for Best Actor ) without having to learn a single line .( ok one ,” with pleasure “)
Wow, I remember that movie! Hahaha, he really must an amazing person.
Did you fall for OSS117 too? Hubert Bonisseur de La Bath! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Non Monsieur Reilly . I ave note fallen fer ubert but I did meet him in a night club in Montalivet , a small coastal town in the Médoc famous for its nudist camps and hippy market .
Were you both nude? Did you three kiss?
No and no .
I swear that’s Monsieur Bicco! Maroubra Seals post teams contest Circa 2000
I want to do the quiz… fingers crossed I don’t get:
You are a WSL Employee – take quiz again?
Are you?
No
too bad, you could have been a retired rich fuckwad
Maybe I am a fuckwad tho
#mealso
“If you don’t work, you’re broke.” E.S.
Were there more girls in the end?
And did they take my suggestion of laminated pages on board?
A hybrid of Teflon and Carbon Fibre might have kept those pages clean , stiff and apart ?
That was often suggested, never actioned, as they say.
Hard to squeeze in any more. Was already bumper to bumper beaver.
✂️
Link doesn’t work.
Maybe desktop only?
No work for me either. I’m interested to know – is/was there a question about fans being able to live score waves during comps?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… There was. Other functions being tested were surf forecasting & cams, surf training modules, surf movie streaming, scripted(!?) content, and all the live event and replay stuff. They are clearly looking at being the one stop shop for all things surf. Worked brilliantly for SurfStitch.
My favourite question by a mile though, was “what is your primary motivation for surfing?” followed by a selection of answers which were looked to be ripped from a men’s health magazine. We are truly fucked.
If it were written by a men’s magazine there would be more abs.
My primary motivation is abs. Better abs. Bigger abs. Ten steps to better abs.
Do you know anything about abs, as a bike rider and so on? I’d like to see mine.
There are more fat mountainbikers than surfers
Yes and I’ve heard it is going downhill fast ? Mass should be an advantage for the Supersized Mountain Biker being a force in the sport ?
Force = mass x acceleration so the force is stronger in the fat one .
Ah, but it is not that simple! Fat man creates drag – tires on dirt, width of fatness etc. I’ve forgotten the equation regarding friction but yeah it’s that.
Also the fats generally suck at picking lines through technical sections and being overall “nimble”
Especially with advances in mountainbike technology, bikes with plenty suspension are now light as Hell and easy to pedal. It ain’t a slog no more
I was only joking but the other day was at a low budget amusement park and there was a fun old school waterslide , totally straight with two bumps , and coming down the fastest on the mini inflatable boat was a woman way over 100kg who nearly took out the safety fence protecting me , The giggling spectator with child , from the hilarious side of the force.
Hahaha. Sorry, I got carried away. When surf grommets were looking up to adult surfers with respect, I was a bitter 12yo watching adults ride like shit on expensive bicycles
God new bikes are so fun it’s stupid. But also, I need to win the lottery or something.
The better half has a group of friends that moved to whistler, and we visited them recently. They work in bike/ski rental shops and let me take bikes out for a spin for a 6pack of cheap beers each day, and they had free lift passes etc. I was so enamoured with the bikes that I seriously started looking into getting one at home…. can. Not. Afford. :*(.
I haven’t kept up with mtb for 6years or so, since when did 160mm of travel front and rear become pedalable, and manageable to ride though bmxy dirt jumps without locking out the suspension? Bikes now are amazing, and the terrain in that town is unreal
Ha ha, less beer, probably, which I’m not sure is really worth it. Bikes don’t do shit for abs — ride a lot and you end up a stick figure with some quads attached. It’s not that useful on the whole.
You aim so low Jen. it’s all about the 12 steps…
I thought you only got them from SUPing.
Absolutely.
I judge alot of surf contests regional to national level and there is nothing worse than the layman or soccer mums sitting on the panel. Fans scoring is going to add nothing but tears to the feed.