Get a piece of OTW. Tube wrangling skills not included.
I doubt, even if you were to comb all of the world, you could find evidence pointing to any wrongdoing at the hands of John John Florence.
The just-turned twenty-six year old has a meticulous and classical grace and an infinite skill. He is a rare fish and, I think, pro surfing is lucky to have him rather than the other way around.
Six month ago, John John listed his surplus Off the Wall house for $5.3 million, 700 gees more than the $4.6 mill he paid two years earlier.
If my information is correct, which is rarely is although I do continue to believe, the Off the Wall house served as his photographic lab and darkroom and had a little cottage for guests, while mama Alex lived in their original Pipeline rental next door and John occupied his Log Cabins compound a little further up the road.
The OTW house, at 59-461 Kamehameha Hwy, was built in 1941, has five beds, four shitters and a hundred feet of ocean frontage.
In realtor-speak, “Stunning Oceanfront estate on majestic Sunset Beach. Indoor / Outdoor living at its best and most luxurious. Expansive decks and gardens. Incredible attention to detail. Beautiful Wood Floors, legal seawall and so much more!”
Petey Johnson, bro of the guitar slinger Jack, is selling the joint.
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if only monster paid their bill
Gotta Finda me a Millionaire Surfer Boy Marry.
When will people realize no one gives a fuck about their herb gardens
Welp…. gotta have a hobby.
Anything’s better than that stupid surfing thing people do…
WHOOOPS!
wrong website.
Was ripping thisarvo
Killing it.
You were So ! On a high performance wooden telegraph pole handcrafted by pixies ? Not to mention your well groomed beard .
No just a sick chinese popout.
Bex . My first board was a good old Oz popout from SHANE , the ugg boot man ,and it went about as well as a wet ugg boot .
I found mine during a council cleanup
This gmed shit be kray kray
My knight beats your king
(Gladys) Knight ( and the ) Pips Goat at the Post at the ‘Po to the tune of Gabriel whistling “ Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me “ ?
Fuk,actually i did have a Shane. Think everyone did
Did you take him/her/it to a doctor?
Hahaha.
Yes an acupuncture master
All good now,!,
Killing what?
It mthafka!
Cutting fully sik on the shorey closeout
IT!!!
That fuckin clown alien bastard!!!
Good on you Bexy!!!
Or are you railing against the dominance of Information Technology?!!!
“KILL INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY IN SHOREY CLOSEOUTS”
– Mr. B. Videos.
I’m proud of you, but have no idea what you are talking about, you wonderful lunatic.
This arvo i surfed a shorey and ripped it to bits.
While planning my sleazy surf gossip app between hacks
Could be the new myspace
So where JJ gonna live?
Lemoore or yepoon?
Dear Zeke,
Hassle away. And while you’re at it. No set waves for Obama or Zuckerberg.
My sympathy for life’s hardships ends at net worth north of 4mill.
I reckon it would move if the realtors used the word shitters.
Lol…. just like its promotion of Billabong and Surfstitch shares – BeachGrit has no idea. Real estate prices are falling in the USA due to higher interest rates. Higher interest rates are because of the Joos (Gary Cohn & Steven Mnuchin) ordering Shabbos Goy Donald Trump (financed by Zio Joo Iran wannabe genocider Sheldon Adelson) to cut the corporate tax rate from 35% to 21% when the USA has a whopping record $22 trillion in govt debt; of which $7 trillion is from paying for wars for Israel (against Iraq, Libya, Syria, etc) based on the Jooish 1980s and 1990s plans called the ‘Yinon Plan’ & ‘A Clean Break’. The Federal Reserve has reversed money printing (to avoid a similar fate to the Jooish created Weimer Republic in Germany in the 1920s) therefore interest rates must continue to rise for Uncle Sam to sell its dodgy govt bonds. Its not the time to buy real estate. Florence is trying to get out without a loss. Any surfer that accepts sponsorship from amphetamine dealers like Monster or Red Bull is suspect when it comes to ethics. Its gonna get worse people. The Joos & their crooked Goy mates have #@%$# it again. Its all written here: http://www.unz.com/jpetras/… Chosen People: The Myth of Meritocracy and the Practice of Mediocracy
Nicky D bringin the heat.
Gabriel Medina should make John a low-ball offer.
Noone cares
There can’t Be none!? Maybe he just needs a therapeutic beach.
Maybe Nick should drop some pingas
And fucken snap out of it
That would suck,
having to think about that shit all the time.
Is he a seppo?
Cause fuk he dosent like uncle sam
The Joos might
I might have a rant against the ayatollah and some other towelheads ,tommorow
Upvote because if we all made the same comments this place would be boring.
Would be?
Nick you hit the ball out of the park.
2 words
Kalergi Plan
Let’s all chip in and make it a surf media house. Chas and Ashton can split the master.
Ive got a spare $100nzd which is maybe $5usd or $20aud?
I’d set up shop in a bottom-floor corner.. boards leaning on a wall. Couple throw pillows, a sleeping mat from dollar general, and a sheet that may or may not have been white at some point. I’d force everyone to take chest-crushing bong rips before we all go pack closeouts at OTW. People have raved about my stir fry’s. There’s normally a good bit of change stuck to my back at any given time so you know I’ll always chip in for beer. Willing to jump a coffee table for a homie. Surely an impressive list of prerequisites for a prospective Beach Grit North Shore house cretin.
Surfmom you’re on the right wavelength . Nothing worse than a rich man ,poor man, beggar man, thief who can’t chip in for beer. Now If Seabass once lived in Mr Barca’s letterbox then this is sounding like the luxury accommodation I have been dreaming of ! I once camped in a kombi ,which magically converted every night into an indoor rugby pitch and I was mistaken for the ball and crushed repeatedly when 85 kg Wales took on 88 kg Australia . So I would be more than happy to sleep , semi securely standing up in the broom closet .
Right, so, Bick’s got the broom closet. I got a corner. Chas, Ashton, and vodka have the master (all coffee tables removed prior). Derek, the groundskeeper occupying the cottage, and Wiggs the groundskeepers rabid dog that might (will) fuck anything that moves on the property past dusk. Chas should write an article calling upon the readers of Beach Grit to envision a Beach Grit North Shore house and their place in it. A mental exercise where we can all self-assess our individual persona and past experience to better carve-out our own slice of Beach Grit paradise pie. It would be symbolic, some might even say character revealing.
I’ll take the fourth shitter
Ah the Gary Glitter room ! You lucky Bastard .Maybe you can put up a sign
“ Please don’t wipe pubes off the seat “ ?
any available couch please
I’ll come along and conduct a special “Nick’s Don’t Learn To Surf” class in how to unsuccessfully ride 12’+ Sunset.
My fellow Wanderlust adventurers can join Jordy’s class in how to unsuccessfully ride 2′ mushy turtle bay.
Morning chest exercises with the goal of decreasing space between nipples. Mid-day lessons on pout theory.
Clearly JJF is no Climate Change Denier.
Can here jack Johnson’s ukulele version of Iron Maiden’s “Run to the Hills “ wafting through the palms ?
I can hear it now, but it just doesn’t make sense.
If that is the case, why is JJF was growing his weird little beardy thing and in the process releasing his inner metal if he is just going out with the Jack Johnson ukulele version?
No idea Pete ? Was just trying to find a link between the seller jj , the agent jack’s brother and the only place to go if the sea rises is up hill and Iron Maiden popped up ,unless he is going to convert the yacht into Noah’s Arc ?
I think you’ve got the main players sussed along with the timeline of events. We do have some big questions that still need answers – mainly around the ukulele usage. Just need to be sure that this scenario really is very legal and very cool, as the old saying goes.
If we change islands ,we could get Jimmy ( smorgasbord ) Buffet to serve up some sandwich island fury on the bongos to the tune of “ When the Volcano Blows “ ? Way to scary ! Back to the seven mile miracle …….
I was just finishing reading through that heavy old tome The Art of The Deal and think I may have found the flaw in their plan…
I do love a nice resort island buffet tho… especially if I’ll be treated to an island flavour show and some nice tunes while stuffing my hungry maw. The new question is could JJF and his cronies pay us off to leave them be and get on with whatever scheme they are hatching?
JJJJJJJJf shoulda just stuck it on Gumtree. Free ads. No commission.
But not very good class of buyer, I think. Tough and demanding negotiators too.
Tell me about it.
I put a free fridge on recently and 2 people wanted to know if I’d deliver it to them.
Comic geniuses or C*nts . Lucky they didn’t ask you to come and fill it for them every week ?
Fuck sake, Pete you are struggling mate. Alright, alright… you got me. I’ll take it. Send me your trust account details and I’ll transfer the deposit tonight. Cheers. Wiggs
By the way if I find out BeachGrit gets an advertising commission I’ll be fucken filthy on you cunts.
How about we split the joint? Chas and vodka get the master, I get the cottage, you roam the grounds growling at the poor people looking in.
Somehow I don’t see the BeachGrit readership as being in the target market for luxury real estate
Didn’t see*
Especially with that photo of the master bedroom looking onto a lake ! For fuck sake put some waves in the images if your trying to screw surfers for cash ?
Perhaps the ultimate market is cashed-up SUPers who would be put off by anything approaching the reality of the NS.