Celebrate Negatron all season long!
It is a historical day down other under. For the first time in recorded history there are two New Zealander surfers on tour at the same time. Two. Ricardo Christie officially stamped his dance ticket yesterday by advancing through his round 3 heat at the Vans World Cup of Surfing at Sunset Beach, North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii. Paige Hareb, on the women’s side, made it on before the penultimate event.
Both are wonderful surfers and very much deserve to be on tour but the feat is made even more impressive when New Zealand’s size is taken into account. The nation’s population is 4,749,598 making it the 126th most populous in the world.
The United States has a population of 366,726,948 and has 1.5 surfers on tour.
China has a population of 1,415,045,928 and has 0 surfers on tour.
Scotland has a population of 5,373,679 and has 1 surf journalist (J.P. Currie) but 0 surfers on tour.
Mexico has a a population of 350 migrants in a caravan and has 1 mother with 9 children but 0 surfers on tour.
Norway has a population of 242,256 reindeer but 0 surfers on tour.
Japan has a population of 1 Kanoa Igarashi and is in a dispute with the United States so may have one surfer on tour but also may have 0 surfers on tour.
Russia has a population of 43 communists in the State Duma and has 0 surfers on tour.
Etc.
And as you can see New Zealand’s two surfers on tour is an unprecedented feat.
Please congratulate Negatron in the comments and also send him a gift. Something culturally appropriate.
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Negs… you need to rally your country men and women… stand up to the killing of the population…
Here are some examples of the worst chemicals used in NZ:
Methyl Bromide
In New Zealand we are still using chemicals that are banned in Europe, because of their high toxicity, cancer causing properties and environmental risks.
One of those banned chemicals in Europe is Methyl Bromide. This chemical is destroying the stratospheric ozone layer, which shields the earth from ultraviolet radiation. You should think this would be a priority for New Zealand, as we are most affected by the ozone layer hole.
Methyl Bromide is toxic to the central and peripheral nervous system. It is also a developmental and reproductive toxin and exposure is known to cause skin, kidney, respiratory, liver and neurological damage resulting in severe or permanent health effects.
Under the Montreal Protocol all developed countries (including NZ) were required to phase out the use of Methyl Bromide by 1 January 2005. In NZ we still use Methyl Bromide – with an annual consumption of about 355 tonnes – in fact, we have increased our use by more than 4 times over the last 16 years.(2) Even so there are exemptions for the phase-out of Methyl Bromide – like quarantine and pre-shipment – it is high time for NZ to find alternatives.
The choicest!
China has 0?
Wait until they start building wave pools, it won’t be so funny then.
There will be plenty in WSL in years to come, and plenty in the water.
We see how they handle baby formula. Thank fuck Im old and will be on my way off this planet when they do.
Kia Ora mthafka
Sweet. Two more unlucky sods getting bundled into round two by Gabe and Steph.
When Ricardo was on the tour he would get heat totals that would win the other heats, just not the ones he was in.
That’s what happens when you go against the top seeds.
J Bay against Parko, for instance. Cruel.
I do think he’s a heavier competitor now. Fingers crossed.
Ah..I love the underdog..
Plus New Zealand was one of the best surf trips I’ve ever taken..
He had two others With Jeremy Flores at Cloudbreak and with Wilko at Trestles that must have been heartbreaking ?
Aggression bordering on madness may be his only hope against the Brazilians occupying the top five.
Thanks Scotty, but an amazingly average Surfer probably fits the bill better!
Here ya go Negs, have an underarm. Ya cunt. Nah, you should celebrate by watching series 1-3 od Bro’ town. How good is it!?!?
Well done Negs. I’m sure they owe it all to your wide-reaching influence (a few well-placed Stilsons)
Kind of you, Chas. But “journalist” makes it sound like something of value – financially, morally, sexually…
I’m more comfortable with surf troll.
Oh you little Pākehā bugger you… I will help you with your “cultural appropriation” any day.. Chas congrats.. lets do a little group BG haka… just for Negs!
Negs.. did i use all this stuff right? had to google and interpret all of it.. but i love the idea of a little cultural appropriation.. been wearing my kids Mayan hats and ropa for ages!! fuck.. I am almost as tan as her now.
Thanks! But I think if Micheal February wins pipe, Ricardo loses his next heat and 5 unknown Brazilians take Sunset. Ric has a 0.09% of not making the CT.
Not quite making the cut, is a celebrated National pastime here in NZ.
like the time NZ could have won that cricket match had it not been for some creative bowling.
“Underarm over as villain Steve Smith ousts Trevor Chappell “. Found this article in the Australian and it seems as though this incident tainted Trevor’s life in so many ways ?
Don’t forget our other national sport… the associated spike in domestic violence that goes with not guite making the cut.
Should I buy shares on the NZX in white cotton singlets ?
Or failing that — high viz… It’s extremely poplular down here — just ask Neg’s… Some say you can see Kaikoura from the moon now due to the shear amount of high viz post quake.
Keeping the extraterrestrial theme alive , I am laying the blame on the Beastie Boys for making this Hi Viz shit cool in Intergalactic?
In general we are about 20 years behind the rest of the world so your theory has much credibility to it.
The beater singlet is always black!
Well what do you expect when you don’t cook the man some fucking eggs?
They took the advice of less weights and more speed work.
Eggs are part of a balanced diet
The Egg Yellow Peril ?
Our national shame. Along with child poverty, and mystery diseases long ago eradicated in the civilised world.
Hey, don’t dismiss the trickle down effect Mads and vaccines are too risky… Remember that one report about the link between autism and vaccines?
“Setting fire to letterboxes”
Yis ixept for thim all blicks
If only there was a copper medal at the olympics for coming 4th..
Chur chur my bro Ric!
Well at least you don’t have 3 decades of CWC choking hanging over your collective heads (I’m sure you you fondly remember the bottom left image from Auckland 2015)…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
After the Great NZ scientist Ernest Rutherford invented the wave detector is it surprising that members of his flock are now both detecting and shooting waves at home and on the CT . Congrats Negatron , an All Black Day for NZ surfing .
“We have no money, therefore we must think.”
Old Ernie was on the money with that quote .
Sounds like the antithesis of the surfing industry during the glory days pre 2007.
“ We got so much cash ,therefore we must not think “ ? Especially about the future ?
Spot on, Bicko.
I read that quote aeons ago when studying at CPH Uni, long before moving to NZ. Am reminded of it often.
chur!
Congratulations, Negs! The Commentariat will provide you the culturally necessary materials linked below:
https://www.premier1supplie…
https://www.premier1supplie…
do they deliver in unmarked packaging?