Introducing: The world’s first exclusively wave pool surf magazine!

Come get kinky!

We live in wonderful times, wondrous times when any itch can be scratched, where no kink is too obscure. I don’t need to tell you that there are online clubs for dendrophilists, those sexually attracted to trees, and agalmatophilists, those sexually attracted to statues. Hell, there is a whole website for incels who happen to be outdoor enthusiasts. What there hasn’t been, though, is an online portal exclusively and only documenting wave pools and wave pool cultures.

Ask and ye shall receive!

The great Bryan Dickerson, of SurfersVillage fame, has embarked on a new journey of discovery called WavePoolMag.com “I started the website because the thought of going for a pre-work surf in good waves every other day would be an incredible way to supplement ocean time…” Bryan says. ” I love surfing and riding waves and the thought of more and better surfing time makes me very happy. Hopefully WavePoolMag will be a resource to this end.”

Let’s ask him some questions!

Chas: Which tanks have you surfed?
Bryan: None! We have contributors like Matt Warshaw and Scott Bass write about their experiences. Would you like to contribute Chas?

C: Yes! I can write about the very real dangers of wave pools. How scary they are, how they wish to rip arms out of sockets. Which tanks you wanna surf?

B: Kelly’s looks too perfect, if that makes sense. You Chas, hurt yourself there. What was THAT like? BSR Surf Ranch looks really fun but I’d probably get stuck behind the bowl and could probably only go left on the advance setting. But the Wavegarden Cove and Surf Lakes setups look the delicious. What’s your take on those?

C: I’m a Surf Lakes man. They seem to be the only ones taking the apocalypse seriously, design-wise. Are you partial to one technology over another?

B: The current trend is to boast about your tech’s wave count. Because at this stage it’s the wave pool makers like Surf Lakes, attracting the investors and park builders. They need to do this. The more waves per hour they produce, the more paying customers a park developer can allow entry. And better ROI. So it’s weird, the fine details of the wave’s shape and thickness is becoming almost secondary in a lot of the publicity send outs, We still haven’t heard from Webber Wave Pools and Thomas J. Lochtfeld. I think they will offer up game changers in the coming year. So, when you ask about preferred tech, at this point in the wave pool character arc, best tech could still be yet to come.

C: Do you think wave pools will breed a culture that is distinct from beach surf culture?

B: Yes! This is more interesting than the wave technology. There are some wave pools planned as urban redevelopment and others as a country club centerpiece. On one hand you could have disadvantaged kids from a Parisian banlieue who build a whole scene around their neighbourhood public wave pool (think of parkour!) and on the other you’d have, well, rich golfers who want to be surfers. At some point they could meet in a wave pool surfing competition! I would see this movie. But in between those two extremes it’ll probably be a lot like wakeboarding, since wakeboarding cable parks are the closest comparison we have right now to wave pools. So, I’d put my money on wake boarders. What is wakeboarding culture? Here, I pulled a (totally unedited) quote off of Unleashed Wakeboarding Magazine: “Being a rider not only take his board , ride it, making some moves and turns. Being a rider is sharing this spirit that connect all of us to that sport, and having fun with his friends who share the same passion”

Amen. Visit here now!

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Streetdaddy
Streetdaddy
7 years ago

http://www.surfparkcentral…. since 2012

But then, ‘INTRODUCING: THE WORLD’S SECOND EXCLUSIVELY WAVE POOL SURF MAGAZINE!’, is a little underwhelming as a title….

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
7 years ago

AMAZING!
It’s a pity this thread already has a featured comment…

The People sure put a lot of effort into the comments on this thread. Life – affirming stuff.

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
7 years ago

holy christ Chas… please tell me this wave pool mag site is a total fabrication, a hoax you created for this piece… which of course means, you’ll next fabricate Wavestormmag.com and Costcosurf.com…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

What’s the world record for up votes here? Why not count downvotes?
Is this a mind control experiment

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Sounds like Matt Johnsons crib,

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Just thought it was way more authentic and they were way more naturally talented and funny . A couple of blokes having fun at work ,in comparison to the gold wheel barrow version of Ben Gravy ?

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago

The Surf/Bunny Ranch, if you will…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse ……..

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

I really enjoyed the director’s cut , Apocalypse Now Redux with footage which had been cut from the original release.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Brazilian Capoeira ,a martial art with elements of dance ,acrobatics and music which I always confuse with the cocktail Caipirinha even though I made a million of them during my non illustrious career as a barman .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Love what he did in Tevye’s dream to convince his wife that the daughter should marry the tailor and not the old butcher!

Old Kook
Old Kook
7 years ago

Speaking of movies…Wave pools are going to ruin surf movies. It always comes down to the last heat and the star of the movie just needs one more good score but the waves suddenly go flat. Then at the last minute a giant sets shows up but the star does not see it yet. People on the beach do see it though and start yelling and the star sees it just in the nick of time and catches the heat winning wave to save the day. How is that gonna work in the wave pool? Will the evil Lance Burkhart wedge a piece of bamboo in the gears so the plow won’t move? and just in time Turtle wanders into the gear room to hit the vape and finds the bamboo? Or better yet, Bethany Hamilton finds the chunk of bamboo and takes it out of the gears but her arm gets caught in the gears and gets ripped off. Then the sequel just writes itself. I’m available for writing sessions.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Old Kook

Think big , tectonic forces in action from underneath creating a wave to end all wavepools in collaboration with Asteroids like the one that created The Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event, also known as the Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction, which wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago .Sorry Old Kook I think I got carried away .

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
7 years ago

Hmmm. “Disadvantaged kids from a Parisian banlieue who build a whole scene around their neighbourhood public wave pool (think of parkour!)”. There are a couple of issues with this.

Equipment needed for parkour: legs. Equipment needed for wave pool: I’m not going to write you a list.

How much hash would your average disadvantaged banlieue kid need to sell to pay for his membership?

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

this parkour I can relate too but I think you need arms to reach the top level.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

I thought that was going to be a sort of manramp thing.

Great, but nothing in the wheelbarrow?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Check out the next video after yours on you tube ! Bloody Hell its gone ?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

A highly intelligent and educated French Muslim once told me that his people had invented the sport of Triathlon ?
First they ran to the pool in Paris or Marseille or Lyon .
There they jumped the fence and swam in the pool .
Then finally at the end of the day they came home on a bike of their own choosing ?

“For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.”
― Sir Thomas More, Utopia

ThriftStoreArt
ThriftStoreArt
7 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

The public wave pools offer subsidized memberships for area residents. The public resources are wonderful here…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

About 6 handjobs worth

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
7 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

i was just in st Denis! they just want more tabacs and coiffure stores. wave tub? pfffft

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
7 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Exactly. pfffft double pfffft

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
7 years ago

Friday night screenshot games!
I found the crystal meth crowd

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
7 years ago

Ja on closer inspection he’s one of those incel misogynists.

astro
astro
7 years ago

“I’m a Surf Lakes man ….”
Hahahahar

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
7 years ago

WavePoolMag.com
“Webber Wins Wavepool Race!”
by Derek Rielly

When news first broke that Webber had finally done it, built his long hyped masterpiece, and set the surf world ablaze, BeachGrit was excited! It looked and sounded too good to be true. If only we could finagle a few rides, we could blow the top off it, shoulders be damned, we would know!

I called Webber up at his house, a little cottagey shed perched on swampland and surrounded by saltwater crocodiles (“his mates”) near Darwin. To my surprise, the bloviating, hyperbolic, perpetually sunburnt pomegranate obliged, saying that he would allow us, me and Ol’ Charlatan, a visit in a month.

I was intrigued to try Webber’s creation, the promised real deal wave with a trough! Supple curves, tight, wet cylinders, ooohwee, kinky tits, what an experience it would be!

By the time the day came, I was a nervous wreck. So many questions were running through my head, I couldn’t focus. What if I couldn’t stand up? What if it sucked?

Before we entered the pool, Webber decided to give us a talk. “Why so glum looking, ay, cunt? Be the best waves of your life, don’t blow it… if you do, just get back on the next. It’s a bloody fucking circle, ya prick!”

With that, we were ready to catch some waves!…

The beaut did not disappoint!

Other wave pool designs, which I had so lustily dreamt about becoming the way to satisfy urges, warmly wetted bliss, have become crusty and cracked under surfing’s bed.

Honeymoon dick in the guts!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
7 years ago

Ooohwee!

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
7 years ago

You wasted a perfectly good stand-alone article in the comments section. With the money BG might have paid you for this, you could have bought yourself a late season indo boat trip. Our at least a new leash.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
7 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

Or a deposit on some wax.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago

Hahah “kinky tits” is very Derek.

Jen See
Jen See
7 years ago

Ha ha ha holy shit this is so dead on. Totally kills!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

I really thought this was
D man

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
7 years ago

Kinky tits

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago

God I’m predictable. Couple that with my theatrical mannerisms and you have a paltry man indeed.

Owen's Outgoing Tide
Owen's Outgoing Tide
7 years ago

wake boarders as inspiration, what could go wrong?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Is that a “ Man or Amoeba “ ? See My Favorite Martian for details …………

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Would have thought that the Inertia ( a property of matter by which it remains at rest or in uniform motion in the same straight line unless acted upon by some external force) would have a large fan base for those sexually aroused by trees and statues ? Looking forward to seeing Surfing’s first Musical, a potential marriage of Les Misérables ,South Pacific and West Side Story set in a man made wave environment in the near future .

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago

I’ve dreamed of turning Welcome to Paradise into a musical for years.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I grew up on that shit and have a definite soft spot for the Opera of the People . Just worried , it might end up on the dark side like a musical version of “ Last Exit to Brooklyn “ ( fuck I am still scarred by that film a generation down the track ) set at Sunset Beach ?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago

It will be gloriously light! Eddie Rothman will pirouette!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

So Eddie will be more like Bloody Mary than Bloody Scary ?
Twirling his fingers to Happy Talky Talky , Happy Talk , while Bali Hi is calling ?

Jen See
Jen See
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

omg

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Oooh. I can just heard a rousingly fabulous number about ‘Slaps’.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

BG cast can do it. i will be fluffer

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
7 years ago

Joel Tudor and His Technicolour Boardies

This Webber-Webber pool-musical colab is a dream made in (lyrics by Tim Rice)’s heaven.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

duct taped cats?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

Love it ! How about the Wave pool version of Snow White ( sadly nothin to do with a Cocaine and Surfing , yet ? Apart from the mirror )
Scene 1 act 1 . The Evil Queen Kelly sits narcissistically in front of Mirror :
“ Mirror Mirror on the wall afar , who has the loveliest wave pool so far ? “ ………..


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