Should Kelly Slater fear for his safety on the North Shore? Joel Tudor says yes!
As always, there is nothing like a keyboard party hosted by Kelly Slater and Joel Tudor to kick off a new year.
Yesterday, Kelly made a nice Instagram post titled, “Don’t tell anyone how good the left is at V-Land.” The gag being, the left off that very localised, almost entirely righthand wave a mile or so north of Sunset, puts the rider onto a difficult part of the reef.
Joel, who is a longboarder and jiujitsu aficionado and who’d previously gone after Kelly for wearing the wrong belt while grappling, responded by calling Kelly a “dork”, writing, “Way to tell a million people in one post.”
Today, in spite of the clip’s filmer Peter King claiming it wasn’t V-Land at all, Kelly removed the name of the wave from the title of his post.
Joel Tudor wrote to BeachGrit and, after a little fun roasting us as “girls” said, “(Kelly) changed the name for his own safety out here.”
Kelly, however, remained relatively defiant in his own comments pane despite the cosmetic capitulation.
Yago Dora writes, “I don’t even look right.”
Kelly replied, “Well, now you shouldn’t look left. Secret.”
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the most amazing thing about the clip and about which no one is saying anything is the speed burst he gets after the snap to air-drop and then gets around the whitewater section to get back to open face. not many can do that whole sequence.
True dat
first thing i said to myself was “how the fvck did he get around that section????”….guy never ceases to amaze
Getting flamed so hard online that you end up having to apologize to the photographer for pulling someone’s leash.
Hit us with some sponsor news grit, heazlewood getting dropped those Insta clips, no more rvca stickers on Bruce’s board?
I feel like a R. Kelly sex slave with all this going on. I think I have Stockholm Syndrome.
Good article.
Wow, the mullet even makes KS look like a bogan
Now you know what Florida looks like minus the requisite gold chain that is the norm from Jax to the Keys
And the jeans falling off.
Its a look!
We hatin on Kelly – instead of the hatin on the local who wont let you surf there?
nah localism is good. its keeps kooks from hurting themselves and others.
Kelly best be careful, Texans don’t take kindly to capitulators.
Are we talking Waco Texans or Fast Eddie Rothman Texans?
Texans in general. If the Alamo had capitulated, would they keep telling us to remember the Alamo?
Good point.
While it’s not my intention to defend anything that comes out of Robert’s mouth, I find it odd that Joelie Tudor would call anyone a girl especially given that his personality can best be described, as a self-important, whiny little bitch/Nancy boy.
CB:
Isn’t Time again that you search the archives again and let us know that I said “Joel Tudor’s a Fag” a year ago (for whinging about bull fighting—Which when you think about it since he’s into gladiator sports like jujitsu is a little ironic if not hypocritical. He likes to hurt people but can’t stand animals like bulls being hurt, though, of course, almost every bullfighter eventually is critically injured if not killed by a bull. Perhaps he just enjoys tightly and strenuously embracing sweaty men) a year ago and then post my work website again?
Can’t be arsed.
have fun!
You’re letting us down CB…
This is merely a voluntary service on behalf of Andy Irons Cleaning (Geelong) Ltd. as a tax write-off.
The full service is expensive. You can’t afford me honey.
I dont know if it is the j-bar I just smoked, but, it seems that either I’m tripping or CB’s slipping.
NB: Good to hear that the LTD is a tax avoidance haven. Livin’ large CB…
I really couldn’t care less for this situation, but, are you really trying to compare bull fighting to jiu jitsu? That’s the stupidest argument I’ve ever heard. Maybe we should aggravate you, chuck ya into a big enclosed yard with no escape, surrounded by people laughing and cheering as you get stabbed with a sword over and over again until you slowly die. you’re a complete moron.
“gladiator sports like jujitsu” lol jeezus mate, sounds like you need an education.
You obviously don’t know a thing about bull fighting nor have you ever bothered to learn anything about it before spouting your uninformed opinion. Do a little research on Wikipedia about any of the great bullfighters of the 20th century; I think what you’ll find is they were all either killed or critically injured multiple times. It’s no given that the bull dies. What is a given is that some bulls will die as well some bull fighters and many more bullfighters will be permanently maimed. Why don’t you share your enlightened opinion with some Spaniards and see how they react to it.
By the way I would never compare bullfighting which is not a sport but rather art, skill and tragic theater all at once to pansy fucking Jujitsu.
FYI Jiu Jitsu is an art.
If you see the words ”martial art”, look closely, it’s hidden in there!
Your pseudonym, says it all. Why not gutter snipe? Gutless snipe?
It’s a nice label, martial arts, but, there is nothing Martial or artful about two men grappling each other, unless they are gay and into that type of thing (and I’m happy for them if that’s the case, just as I’m happy for all happy people whatever they’re into).
Recall the point of philosophy, as elucidated by, amongst others, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Al-Farabi, Maimonides, Avicenna, etc., which is to replace the opinions of the city, that is the ignorant in the polis or masses, with knowledge of the whole and of things. A label, particularly like the one you are banding about, is a pure expression of ignorant opinion not knowledge or understanding of the thing itself.
Totally agree, the only way straight men ought to do physical combat is pistols at ten paces. And by “pistols” I don’t at all mean “penises.” As a method of settling disputes it’s straight as a ruler! And by “straight as a ruler” I don’t mean penises. Probably.
Ha. Nice riposte PNP
You’ve read Death in the Afternoon I’m sure? My knowledge of bullfighting basically starts and ends there. Struck me as one of the greatest books about “sport” every written – surf could take a page or hundred from it. I agree with you that bullfighters essentially volunteer for death so that their countrymen can see darkness vanquished on their behalves. Archetypal passion play of sorts, rich and significant stuff ….
I have as well as the Dangerous Summer and Michener’s book on it as well. The DS may even be better than DITA, if that’s possible. Completely agree with you that and TDS are probably the best books ever written on any sport or interactive art ever.
What’s incredibly cool about it, is the way in which Hemingway doesn’t glorify it, doesn’t trivilize it, and beautifully weaves the tension of the inevitable tragedy which is coming for one or more of the competing bull fighters. The competition between the old master and the young, rising star, interspersed inexorably with the inevitable tragedy that the reader knows is coming is amazing for a work of nonfiction.
Another other thing that resonates from reading the books is the humanity and the compassion between the competing or dueling Toreros and their strong feelings for the bulls they fight and try to kill.
Finally, unlike the jerk off‘s comments above, Hemingway beautifully and honestly discusses the bulls and calls bullshit on anything but the purest bred and absolutely most dangerous Miura bulls and conveys the Spanish spectator’s knowledge and appreciation of the difference.
Courtesy of those two books on a complete sidenote, I was surfing in FuertaVentura in the Canary Islands and I went to dinner in Corralejo one night and the chef and owner had a poster of Manolete on the wall and when I commentted on it in my so-so Spanish, I immediately acquired a new and very sincere friend In the way that only Spaniards can be when and if they truly accept and invite you into their circle. For the next two weeks he insisted that I eat dinner with he and his wife every single night and stay until the restaurant closed. It’s hard to say in words how Monolete resonated with this man and yet he was to young to have ever seen him in the corrida.
Would that it were some of these oppositionists us to bull fighting, might pick Up and read death in the afternoon or the dangerous summer…
This guy beats my word count.
Ok I am going to take the bait… You have wrote a good bit, some of it I’d agree with but Bullfighting isn’t anywhere as dangerous as it once was. Most of the matadors who died early in the 20th Century such died as a result of infection, modern antibiotics makes it unlikely the matador will die, and it’s extremely rare that they do die nowadays! Other medical advances also reduce the chances of death for the matador! The bull almost always is put to death, rarely is it spared. It’s a well known dirty secret that the bulls have their horns pared back before the fight, making their perception of where to attack out of whack, and also painful! It takes a “fight” that is already stacked in the matadors favor into a show. I’ve read a good few books about it, I was enthralled about it when I was younger, but it’s a disgusting practice which has no place in a modern society anymore than dog fighting. Hemingway amongst others made it read as a beautiful transcendent ballet, but I have never seen any poetry in it, just a savage cruelty.
It’s only sad if you’re there.
JTS:
I agree with many of your points regarding modern corridas. Some say the ones in Mexico are better than those in most of Spain. I may not draw the same ultimate conclusion as you do but respect and can appreciate yours as it is an honest and informed opinion based on knowledge and experience. Cheers to you man.
It’s also very beautiful how it is definitely not a sport at the expense of the bulls for the Spanish spectators. Only a country that produced Federico Garcia Lorca Could produce such a darkly tragic yet vivifying performance art.
I’m goin with christian
As death will become us all
Appreciate the backing bv!
No worries
It probly won’t last.
I would expect no more or less, good man.
You should add Dr to the front of your avatar, and MBA after it. Being so learned and all around us uneducated
Oh that’s no avatar, it’s me, the real and only me, I couldn’t add a Dr. before my name because I’m not a medical doctor and while it’s kosher in many countries to put doctor before your name when you have a doctoral degree (which I do but I’m not into touting it), it’s not in Yankville. I don’t have an MBA.
Lastly, you cunt, Speak for yourself when you talk about being uneducated; I find the education level and learnedness of most of the posters on the site to be quite high and their senses of humor wicked and sly.
Beachgrit commenters rejoice at the approval of an Adult Learner…
your giving me too much credit super w
Even lying prone in the whitewash is achieving greater heights than this worm will ever see. Unless I hail an Uber in the beak of a passing gull
now get the fake Spaniard below to answer my questions dammit
I shall do my best
You must have done something Super W as he came flying back in.
If I told you I weild a lot of influence round here, you’d think I was bragging. If I told you I don’t, you’d know I was lying
I never doubted you Super W. I was merely trying to motivate the best in you and ta da it came right out.
I am your father
At the risk of being pedantic, you may have missed my being sardonic when I “compared” the two.
I am Spaniard..Bullfighting is Torture,is Cowardy ,disgusting and third world reminiscent.
The fact that someone might consider this part of my country is embarrassing and repulsive .
My uncle was a bullfighter ,pretty much know what this fucking shit its about.
What was your uncle, the bull fighter’s name? Where in Spain are you and he from caballero?
we are still waiting on your answers to my queries “spaniard”…
En algún momento te has creido que tus opiniones o está discusión podría importarme mas que limpiarme el culo con papel blanco o rosa .Que defiendas algo como los toros te define como persona ,el resto es ruido.
Mi tío era un pobre hombre y así vivió toda su vida.
Vete a surfear anda y dejate de paridas.
Cabron muy delicado. Aunque aprecio la oferta de limpiarte el culo, creo que lo transmitiré. Como Frank le dice a Mel (el policía) antes de que le dispare una segunda vez en Scarface, “¿Quién te dice que eres policía, Mel?”
ha ha ha..wasnt for the first sentence I might have though you spoke spanish..bad thing about google translator is it does not get irony or idioms .
I will help you:
I said, that i care more about wiping my ass with pink or whit paper than anything that’s related with defending “los toros”,sorry I didn’t offer to clean your ass.
By the way, unless in Portugal, Toros are killed 99.99 % of bullfights, or die afterwards if released.
Funny fact.When transmitting bullfights in spanish TV they never give the on ground sound so you can not hear the animal screams of pain and fear.
Ha. You got me. There is a hell of a lot more irony in Spanish than their is in English. Spanish is one of the only languages I know where you can say the exact sentence using the exact same words and have it mean three different things.
😂😂😂that’s true Christian ✌️
Perfecto, por fin, dos putas están de acuerdo en algo.
where’s paul roach and danny fuller when you need them?
Weak as piss
You might win a battle with the King, but you’ll never win the war – and lets be clear, the days that Tudors sat on thrones is long gone!
You’re a student of English history? This might be a first.
It’s called general knowledge around these parts – and we are still a bit bitter about Elizabeth 1st!
Her daddy was the original Mad Huey, yes?
I’m no expert, but yes he seemed like a right cunt!
First? Full Honours really!
So are the days that Kelly sat on thrones.