The crowd was buzzing!
I totally can’t believe I slept on surfing’s most important night, the gilded Surf Industry Manufacturing Association awards. Like, I’m sorry. Can you accept my apology? Will you be able to find it in your heart?
They happened three days ago or maybe even four, it’s hard to see through the tears in my eyes, because that means I kept you unaware that Stab beat sister publication and Venice-adjacent neighbor The Inertia, winning The Consumer Media Feature of the Year. I kept you unaware that Vans’ UltraRange Rapidweld beat Nalukai Kapa Boot by OluKai for the Footwear Product of the Year. I kept you unaware that Billabong’s Recycler Boardshorts beat men’s and women’s Fall ’18 Yulex wetsuits by Patagonia.
I’m having trouble forgiving myself.
Let’s just read the Orange County Register. Let’s turn to an outlet that didn’t royally blow it.
Billabong celebrated a sweeping victory at the awards, signaling a major comeback for the surf brand that has endured a run of ups and downs in the past decade — but is clearly on the upswing with five wins in categories that showcased both men’s and women’s designs.
It wasn’t just a night for the legacy brands, though. Newcomers also made their mark, showing there’s a new wave of innovation in the industry.
But it was Billabong’s five wins that had the crowd buzzing.
Billabong has come a long way since a decade ago, when the brand was losing money and embroiled in a takeover battle. In 2013, the company inked a $360 million deal with C/O Consortium, a group of investors from Centerbridge Partners and Oaktree Capital Management. The goal was to help Billabong address its debt and revive its brand.
In 2016, Billabong announced it was profitable for the first time since 2011. Then in 2018, in a move that shook the surf industry, Billabong, which has its North America headquarters in Irvine, was purchased by Huntington Beach company Boardriders Inc., which owns rival Quiksilver.
There was concern the two brands would overlap, but it was clear at Wednesday’s awards ceremony that Billabong has maintained its own identity, winning honors for Environmental Product of the Year for its Recycler Boardshorts, as well as Boardshort of the Year, Marketing Campaign of the Year for both its men’s and women’s divisions, and Women’s Apparel Brand of the Year.
BeachGrit will not be nominated for The Consumer Media Aggregated Feature of the Year in 2020 because of me. This was our chance and I wrecked it.
I’m sorry.
This shit is the equivalent of having an award ceremony for boat building on the deck of the Titanic. A fucking circle jerk of the highest order.
Our hard working brothers and sisters from the sweatshops of Bangladesh want to apologize for their absence.
Beachgrit could have a chance in the Inaugural Beachgrit Awards. Could win first and last at the same time
Yes, the surf industry is kind of dumb – what’s left of it.
It hasn’t always been dumb.
You missed the fun surf industry by a couple of decades = The Roaring 90s, when clever bastards like Michael Tomson and Bob McKnight and Bob Hurley and Richard Woolcott and Pat O’Neill and them were still running the companies they started.
And making oodles of money, which trickled down everywhere into a lot of fun all around.
These guys were surfers, with roots, who cared, were creative and had the brains and skill to build gazillion-dollar companies.
That doesn’t exist anymore so the surf industry – what’s left of it – is kinda dumb.
Oh well.
You could revitalise it with your skills and charisma?
Naw, what’s done is done.
What’s past is past.
Of course you remember what Yamamoto Tsunetomo wrote in Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai:
“It is said that what is called ‘the spirit of an age’ is something to which one cannot return. That this spirit gradually dissipates is due to the world’s coming to an end. For this reason, although one would like to change today’s world back to the spirit of one hundred years or more ago, it cannot be done.”
So you’re stuck with the gradual dissipation of the once mighty surf industry, as the world comes to an end: Gronk retiring and Kelly soon to follow, Trump winning a second term, reality TV, rap music, etc.
All signs of the apoceclipse.
That party is over, for the most part.
Missed it by that much.
How about this
Women’s clothes for men
Its gonna be huge!
The way things are going it will be mandatory soon.
Let’s get in at the ground floor, we’ll be rich and be dancing in our hot pants!
Quik dry burqas
Surf proof turbans
Cool Arab inspired street wear.
Can you give me mick Thomson’s email add?
Hahaha – you might have sent Ben into a tail slide there, bexy.
*apocalypse
No need to thank – You’re welcome.
Signed: One boring pedantic cunt to another.
Welll you certainly have cornered the market on boring.
Apoceclipse is a play on words, like in Thunderdome.
Other signs and portents are this website and the Mueller report.
I’m concerned that Bicko has done a heart attack or something.
I’ve googled the shit out his name and can’t get any decent leads.
Yet another opportunity for QSJ-ism.
It’s no surprise, I called him out on his real occupation and now this.
If you’ve been in the biz it ain’t hard to spot.
If it’s a H. A, hell be back soon.
I really don’t think he’s a secret squirrel Bexy.
For one thing his constant posting would take too much time away from jumping outta helicopters and blowing up hidden super-laser facilities.
I’ve tried LinkedIn too. Plenty of James Bickertons, but none are our man.
Sleeper cell
We monitor all sorts of radical sites.
We’ve gone off this one cause it’s harmless Exept for the bigotry and are now focusing on Mia Freedmans dangerous site.
… careful bex, Mossad will be out for ya!
Shit, they’re good too!
Oh well I’ll charm them with some fresh Knish and matza balls
James gives him away.
Pretty stoopid.
Dunno who trained him.
Rex Bex , I have a License to Thrill not Kill ……
0069 mission acomplished i presume?
Miss channelbottom has been pining for you,
Affirmative ! Be prudent, CB might turn out to be Jason Bourne and put your in a pine box , making you the lost Coffin Bro ?
He’s probly having a little weep more likely
It’s been great here lately
The top dogs been really hitting their stride and showing their chops with news about JOB and Kelly’s infinity pool
Hi CB . It is all true ! The best way to hide in this day and age is not to hide at all ? Was sent on a mission to laugh at gents wearing Homo Deus ( ex machina ) T-shirts in Sydney , drop in on a hipster who was sporting a man bun on the south coast and enlighten a man with a Zaffa accent that attempting to surf the Elouera left hand rip bowl on a foil was unacceptable behavior and advised him without using a single expletive that he was welcome to run people over 20m further north………on the right hander.
Good to have you back JB!!
Bravo!
I was preparing myself mentally for attending a funeral.
Nice to be back . I often smell like death but hope to continue for at least a few decades more .
Now if they can invent a sandal that lets you step in dog shit then open a beer in one stride.
Iffy even after a quick trip to the urinal
Well, looks like Deadtree Capital has figured out, like Ziffy, the briefcase of cash gets you awards better than work!
Vive la France
Good onya
The Insertya!
Winner of the “I’m a cashed up white collar cunt that vaguely identifies as a surfer but now spends most of my time driving an expensive 4WD around the eastern suburbs” market: Deus Ex Machina
Winner of the “I’ve only been surfing three years and can’t ride a shortboard so I just grew my hair, bought a log and moved to Byron” market: The Critical Slide Society
Winner of the “Yeah I’m pretty tight with Dane. Well, he was standing behind me in the dunny queue once so I snapped a quick selfie. Do you have any rack, brah?” market: Former
Sanity prevails in
New Southern Right Whales.
Can’t believe we’ve all been sleeping on Billabong.
Yeah, who the fuck buys Billabong stuff? Last time I did I was 16 and didn’t know better. It was also over 20 years ago
Hahaha – I do ! I have an outlet store near me. 3 for 50 on boardies when in clearance mode.
Wetties can be half retail – Fukker’s are discriminatory tho’ – there’s never any in xxxxl.
Dude, astro be Stickered Up ! I’m v fussy on the colours and patterns, most of them suck.
The bong, North Korean Surfing Association and o’course Quik are all I go for.
Understandable then. I’m the same but got a Hurley outlet near me, don’t think I’ve spent more than 20 bucks on board shorts for the past 3 years
Sure, the OC Register gives the details on the ‘winners’, but where is the colour?
What were the punters wearing?
What was the level of ‘buzzing’?
Was it more to do with the quantities of cocaine consumed than awareness of who won 5 awards?
There is still a chance quality ‘surf journalisming’ can redeem itself if these questions are answered, no matter how late.
I’ll go next year and report on the fashions.
Sneak preview: AIP (in a custom tuxedo by Virgil Abloh, obviously): “And who are you wearing?”
SIMA attendee: “Ummmm, Billabong? Shoes by DVS?”
can someone explain how buying a new pair of shorts made from recycled material is better for the planet than just wearing your old ones?
Well the toxic fumes from the plastic recycling process make the sweatshop workers go psychotic and jump under buses, thereby reducing overpopulation.
Pole alignment technology
Just found a stall at a market thing up in the hills that sells boardies for $20. That’s how to save the planet.
Congrats to Builtitwrong!
How many awards for FCS given to FCS by FCS?
So many FCS given!
You’re on a roll…still up from the night before or just born a funny cunt?
The planets must have aligned briefly. Should have bought a lottery ticket or something.
you keep keeping us unaware!
Rip Curl took home its fourth straight Award for Most Cost Effective Labor Force. Collab of the decade… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Now that’s funny KVF.
The old rising son (short or tall ) never goes out of fashion ?
Could not give two shits
It’ll take about 35 shits before the Boardshort of the year winner really sinks into your conscoiusness as the being the best boardshort of 2018.
Take 2 Ex-lax and lay off the Immodium.
That’ll be $70 please.
Thanks doc, how about some lube for the fist you just shoved up my arse?
There’s a fist time for everything.
Did the Noah Surf House advertorial get an honorable mention?