The Pretty Big Wave World Tour rolls on!
I’ve been all day in a book hole. The deadline for my yet-to-be-completely-titled masterpiece is racing up and it seizes my nerves so then I don’t do my BeachGrit, smashing out masterpiece instead, but then I miss you all so badly that you’re all I think about.
I can’t quit you!
In other news, I have heard from a very great source that the Mavericks Big Wave World Tour will very likely run if the forecasted swell is even a semblance of ok due the alleged $500,000 permit fee paid by the World Surf League to…. whoever it is that collects permit fees.
$500,000!
That must even make billionaires and co-Watermen of the Year Dirk and Natasha Ziff wince.
Or maybe not.
How much is $500,000 to a billionaire? Is it like $50 to me? I wince at losing $50 these days but that’s also because my nerves are all seized over my yet-to-be-finally-titled masterpiece.
So far I’m thinking one of the following… Reports from Hell, We Will, in fact, be Greeted as Liberators or And Yemen… That Actually Sounds Like a Real Country.
Any thoughts? It’s a book about our Global War on Terror, by the way.
Mavericks.
I am not in the current mental state to give a shit.
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Sometimes, a non-event is an event within itself. Maybe all the chicks won’t end up in ER like last time.
Scottie that’s going to get you banned.
Possibly dismembered actually
Boycott the viewership… surfing can’t be taxed it’s free.
I imagine 500K for a billionaire is like the $650 dollars i had to pay yesterday to fix the starter on my 4X4 (150 for the tow truck, 130 for the part, and 370 for the labor): a necessary fee for me to keep surfing and a necessary fee for mavericks comp. Nowadays, bc the economy is pumping, everything is getting more expensive, except plane fares? go figure. Name of your new book: “Who gives a fuck about Arab people, give me that oil.”
The Seven Pillars of Idiocy.
The Great Goggins
You and your boring facts.
Killjoy.
Piece in the Middle East
Look Who’s Terrorizing
just read an article about our operations in somalia; Trump et. al going nuts, bombing the fuck out those guys (obama was killing too but trump ramped it up, three fold+), and no one gives a shit bc they’re “terrorists” or, perhaps just local clan rivals, or perhaps innocent civilians, or perhaps no one gives a fuck. I guess the people in Rome didnt care either, as long as they had their wine and bread.
That’s why that title works. Look who’s actually terrorizing!
I’m beginning to think this ‘source’ you keep referring too may in fact not have all their mental faculties
Why Terrorists Suck
And Us Whitey’s Are Cunts Too
Has a certain ring
It puts a tear in my eye.
Just ease up on the throttle there, getting too obvious.
Wait, you are writing a whole book on adult learners?
Chas knows which side his bread is buttered – it’s Valuable adult learners
Two and a Half Yemen: Chad & Barney Have a Death Wish
2 1/2 seamen?
Something to do with The Tenth Sock?
Speaking of deadlines, I’ll be needing those verses by next week.
Sorry sir, yes sir.
I only went back and saw your reply just now.
Can’t guarantee their quality but I will procure you some more organically-sourced, artisan, single estate, hand-woven lyrics.
I’m only interested if they’re sourced from southern facing slopes. Non-irrigated of course.
Ahhh, the good old days when being a hipster meant you only had to know about wine and cheeses.
So according to Cote Mavericks starts to break at 80ft solid So Cal.
79 ft’s pretty hectic
What’s that in WA? 4 foot, but like, solid 4 foot, you know?
9ft faeces [sic]
consistent 2-4 ft at main break which will need a 10′ 6
Except a standard vert ramp is between11&14ft which limits cotes big wave scale.
I figured you were labouring in a deep dark hole Chas, how’s the book going?
I think good! But I now completely understand how writers lose their minds. I don’t sleep, I barely eat but I’m loving every singlet second.
I meant “single” but the surf gods know where I belong. With them, unfortunately.
And here I thought it was the cocaine that was keeping you thin, Chas! All this time it was the writing…
if you combine both with Vodka ?
Anything combined with vodka is a go. Gonna drown Ben Marcus in a puddle of it and tape record his screams.
Speaking of silent airwaves, where’s Mr. Bickerton?
I hope there’s a moderate swell soon otherwise the Pretty Big Wave Tour will have to revise its name again.
Couple fun ones tour.
Broke Back Mountains Tour.
No one can quit them.
For all the wrong reasons, Head high Mavericks seems quite compelling.
Thank you for being here in my darkest hour. It’s why I can’t quit you.
Media savvy.
Media Saveloy
Knee to waist, and I’ll enter!