Rumor: Mavericks to run at even slightest hint of swell due to 500k permit fee!

The Pretty Big Wave World Tour rolls on!

I’ve been all day in a book hole. The deadline for my yet-to-be-completely-titled masterpiece is racing up and it seizes my nerves so then I don’t do my BeachGrit, smashing out masterpiece instead, but then I miss you all so badly that you’re all I think about.

I can’t quit you!

In other news, I have heard from a very great source that the Mavericks Big Wave World Tour will very likely run if the forecasted swell is even a semblance of ok due the alleged $500,000 permit fee paid by the World Surf League to…. whoever it is that collects permit fees.

$500,000!

That must even make billionaires and co-Watermen of the Year Dirk and Natasha Ziff wince.

Or maybe not.

How much is $500,000 to a billionaire? Is it like $50 to me? I wince at losing $50 these days but that’s also because my nerves are all seized over my yet-to-be-finally-titled masterpiece.

So far I’m thinking one of the following… Reports from Hell, We Will, in fact, be Greeted as Liberators or And Yemen… That Actually Sounds Like a Real Country.

Any thoughts? It’s a book about our Global War on Terror, by the way.

Mavericks.

I am not in the current mental state to give a shit.

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BazzaBitch
BazzaBitch
7 years ago

Sometimes, a non-event is an event within itself. Maybe all the chicks won’t end up in ER like last time.

Bushman
Bushman
7 years ago

Scottie that’s going to get you banned.

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
7 years ago
Reply to  Bushman

Possibly dismembered actually

Bushman
Bushman
7 years ago

Boycott the viewership… surfing can’t be taxed it’s free.

shootsthen
shootsthen
7 years ago

I imagine 500K for a billionaire is like the $650 dollars i had to pay yesterday to fix the starter on my 4X4 (150 for the tow truck, 130 for the part, and 370 for the labor): a necessary fee for me to keep surfing and a necessary fee for mavericks comp. Nowadays, bc the economy is pumping, everything is getting more expensive, except plane fares? go figure. Name of your new book: “Who gives a fuck about Arab people, give me that oil.”

Mapski
Mapski
7 years ago

The Seven Pillars of Idiocy.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
7 years ago

The Great Goggins

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

You and your boring facts.
Killjoy.

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

Piece in the Middle East

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
7 years ago

Look Who’s Terrorizing

shootsthen
shootsthen
7 years ago

just read an article about our operations in somalia; Trump et. al going nuts, bombing the fuck out those guys (obama was killing too but trump ramped it up, three fold+), and no one gives a shit bc they’re “terrorists” or, perhaps just local clan rivals, or perhaps innocent civilians, or perhaps no one gives a fuck. I guess the people in Rome didnt care either, as long as they had their wine and bread.

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
7 years ago
Reply to  shootsthen

That’s why that title works. Look who’s actually terrorizing!

turts
turts
7 years ago

I’m beginning to think this ‘source’ you keep referring too may in fact not have all their mental faculties

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago

Why Terrorists Suck
And Us Whitey’s Are Cunts Too
Has a certain ring

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

It puts a tear in my eye.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Just ease up on the throttle there, getting too obvious.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago

Wait, you are writing a whole book on adult learners?

OffRocker
OffRocker
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Chas knows which side his bread is buttered – it’s Valuable adult learners

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Two and a Half Yemen: Chad & Barney Have a Death Wish

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

2 1/2 seamen?

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Something to do with The Tenth Sock?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Speaking of deadlines, I’ll be needing those verses by next week.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Sorry sir, yes sir.
I only went back and saw your reply just now.

Can’t guarantee their quality but I will procure you some more organically-sourced, artisan, single estate, hand-woven lyrics.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I’m only interested if they’re sourced from southern facing slopes. Non-irrigated of course.

Ahhh, the good old days when being a hipster meant you only had to know about wine and cheeses.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago

So according to Cote Mavericks starts to break at 80ft solid So Cal.

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

79 ft’s pretty hectic

OffRocker
OffRocker
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

What’s that in WA? 4 foot, but like, solid 4 foot, you know?

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago
Reply to  OffRocker

9ft faeces [sic]

joeys nosegard
joeys nosegard
7 years ago
Reply to  OffRocker

consistent 2-4 ft at main break which will need a 10′ 6

Dooma
Dooma
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Except a standard vert ramp is between11&14ft which limits cotes big wave scale.

longtom
longtom
7 years ago

I figured you were labouring in a deep dark hole Chas, how’s the book going?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

I think good! But I now completely understand how writers lose their minds. I don’t sleep, I barely eat but I’m loving every singlet second.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I meant “single” but the surf gods know where I belong. With them, unfortunately.

RichMc
RichMc
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

And here I thought it was the cocaine that was keeping you thin, Chas! All this time it was the writing…

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  RichMc

if you combine both with Vodka ?

BazzaBitch
BazzaBitch
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Anything combined with vodka is a go. Gonna drown Ben Marcus in a puddle of it and tape record his screams.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Speaking of silent airwaves, where’s Mr. Bickerton?

Kook Kahanamoku
Kook Kahanamoku
7 years ago

I hope there’s a moderate swell soon otherwise the Pretty Big Wave Tour will have to revise its name again.

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

Couple fun ones tour.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Broke Back Mountains Tour.

No one can quit them.

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

For all the wrong reasons, Head high Mavericks seems quite compelling.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Thank you for being here in my darkest hour. It’s why I can’t quit you.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Media savvy.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Media Saveloy

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Knee to waist, and I’ll enter!


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