Come for the rolling rides, stay for the zipline canopy tour!
It is springtime in America, with summer hot on its heels and you know what that mean. Picnics, BBQs, camping and non-surf websites informing non-surf readerships which beaches around the world are best for learning to surf.
Historically, these lists were easy to ignore. They were neither for you nor about you but, as seen recently in Santa Cruz, we live in strange times. The VAL apocalypse is upon us and it may be your head on the bottom of a SUP foil if you’re not at least moderately aware.
So, where are our friends across the aisle being directed to “take the opportunity to become one with the water, and test your skills and pump your adrenaline through sports like scuba and surfing?” Where might it be best to avoid if at all possible?
Let’s dig in!
-The Outer Banks: “You’ll find everything from beginner to advanced, depending on the time of year [and] hurricane swells that frequent in the fall,” said Erin Swain, an avid east coast surfer and master sommelier, self-dubbed the Surfing Som.
-The Algarve: “The Algarve in the south of Portugal is a fantastic destinations for surfers of all levels, but particularly beginner surfers,” said James Cave, a travel blogger at Portugalist.
-Tamarindo, Costa Rica: “The best place to stay is at Witch’s Rock Surf Camp, and make sure to ask about the zipline canopy tours for when you’re not surfing.”
-Tofino, Canada: This coast has often been described as like surfing in the Twilight movies because of the stunning forests filled with pine trees and rocky terrain.
-Kuta, Bali: Conditions like these are great for beginners, or for anyone wanting a chilled-out session. These beaches tend to be quiet along the south coast, and you can easily hire a scooter and explore the blue lagoons, sandy coves and lush vegetation, to find the perfect spot for surfing.
-Cocoa Beach, Florida: Florida is known for having beautiful weather all year round, and…Cocoa Beach, with warm water temperatures and numerous surf schools is an excellent place for beginners.
-Puerto Escondido, Mexico: The area has the typical laid back surf town vibe going on with a multitude of places…offering morning yoga, organic meals and all types of smoothies for a post surf refreshment.
Bummer. I had a surf trip planned to Cocoa Beach already. I hope I can get a partial refund.
Once, many years ago, I was charged with writing the summer “where to surf” guide for BlackBook magazine. I sent everyone to Oxnard’s Silver Strand, Sydney’s Ours and to go explore the wonderful beaches of northern West Australia.
Where would you send them?
What part of Oregon did you grow up in?
All great places for them, as long as they don’t head further North from Kuta, my 11 year old daughter still loves the beachies North of Jl Melasti.
That vampire chick really gets my blood flowing.!
Coos Bay, try the surf, stay for the dying timber industry.
Pensacola, where climate change means MOAR HURRACAYNE SURF
Hainan, where any Chinese heritage means Olympic surf team or labor camps- your choice!
Niihau, aloha nui loa brah!
BSR – no ‘mebas, fake news!
Secret tip….if you go to Steamer Lane, call it Steamers and ride a carbon fiber FireWire foil board, locals respond much more positively to you.
Bali – Have Shapelle Corby pack their bags.
Her dad packs em better
Pretty sure the whole family can pack a tight bag.
Puerto is the perfect spot for them to go to… no doubt…
A shark sighting warning went up around here — which is a sure sign that the tourists have arrived.
One shark is worth five mean mugging locals
Can’t you do just a brief girl wrap this contest.
So sick of longtoms Kelly fetish
Where can I order one of those?
Are you sure it was not a “kelp warning” that went up. Ask Jacko to be sure.
Puerto is a great spot to break out the Wavestorm. Although morning yoga pretty much takes up the glassy conditions most days, you’ll be primed for a noon time Michelada for sure.
While in that area, hire a car to Acapulco and enjoy the nightlife… no worries, plenty of ATM’s if you run out of money in that city. Friendly locals too.
Attention VALs, buy the Annual Wave Pool Pass from “Wave Pools International”…travel the globe surfing the ponds, your annual past covers, free parking, towels, entertainment brought to you by WSL Director ELO, wave guidance advisor and director “Man of Mavericks” Jeff Clark and a exclusive live video presentation of Surfings past and present podcasted by Ben “Keyboard King” Marcus.
Haina Beach in the Dominican. Republic. Are you a Leader or a Follower?
Be a Leader! Sure you may have to wear a Hazmat Suit, but that’s more for protecting the beach from you, than you from the beach. That’s because adrenaline rush is bad for the environment. Seriously. It is. Why do you think E-Lo wears a suit of armor? Now critics may say that Haina Beach will expose you to lead poisoning. Shaa! Whatevs! If being a leader is toxic, why is the world filled with more followers than leaders?
Be a Leader. Be Haina Beach.
Send em to Reunion
I hear it’s uncrowded these days
can we convince red bull to send an army of foilers there? man v beast: there will be blood. seems like a winner.
A continuing rant … Fuck. Red. Bull.
Puerto Escondido! Feel the kidnappy vibes!
Tamarindo! Play 12 bucks for a Cheeseburger and get hosed by a drug dealer on shitty cheap blow!
Cocoa beach! Take a picture with the slater statue and try some of Florida’s best meth and crack (voted 3 year champion)
Bali! You have a trust fund!
Puerto is literally the worst place to learn how to surf.
A wonderful place to jump in a un marked van and meet new people tho!
I disagree, I think it’s the perfect place for VAL’s to learn (and die)
This is more of a community safety announcement than the shark alerts. But I’d send them to Winki, just let them have it and confine them to there. I’m so sick of seeing kooks on the wave of their life too stunned to do anything with it and just butcher the whole potentially beautiful ride.
VALTracker™ app?
Hahahahah yes! Because with all the gear and no idea combined with gym bodies they can be hard to spot until the are falling out of the sky at you.
I love those guys for their crazed determination to succeed. The fact that it only lasts for as long as it takes to realise there is a bit of effort required makes it doubly satisfying as they skulk off to the online sales apps to divest their interest in recently purchased top of the range gear.