Did you feel the last vestiges of rational defence against Kelly being swept away in your mind?
In Australian parlance, a dag is the piece of matted wool and shite left hanging on a sheep’s tail. Also known as a dingleberry.
Today could have been anything but odds favoured a few desultory losers rounds hanging off the main event like a ripe dingleberry.
But it weren’t.
Mostly due to a timeless performance from the old guy.
Someone in the audience at the Byron Q and A asked Kelly for some tips to hold the line or keep improving as you age. To my internal guffaws, Kelly claimed it was mostly mental, a matter of believing that physically “your best days are still ahead of you.”
He rammed those guffaws right back down my throat today.
It was Jack Robinson we wanted to see first up and he kept the hometown crowd on it’s toes, not catching a wave for 20 mins before a horrifically nervous start where he could barely contain the twitching and spasmodic pumping off the bottom.
That is one advantage of watching the broadcast over the live event.
From the slow motions and close-ups the nervousness was almost overwhelming. He settled enough to throw down a finner and do enough to advance with Jack Freestone in lumpy/glassy three-to-four-foot gurgling rights.
Hard to surf, a real tricky bitch of a wave to surf.
It didn’t augur well for Kelly.
The first sign it might be his day came in heat two, when Leo Fioravanti scored an eight for a well-surfed safety wave. During the Keramas coverage, if you recall, we noted that the continual judging lowball could not hold and at some point there would be a detente and the high scores would flow freely again.
That point was reached during the finals at Keramas and with the Leo eight it was now obvious judges were ready to spill the wine at the banquet.
The next two heats were insane.
Panda, Fred Morais and Yago Dora fought a pitched battle with multiple lead changes. Last went to first and first went to last etc etc. Dora shut the lid on it with a real popped air rotation, no foot placement change at all on the landing.
That has to be seen as a point of difference, as Pottz would say, between the front foot on the nose and awkward shuffle back style or air.
Rewarded.
Kelly Ace and Caio. Caio’s first wave looked an underscore at a low six for three solid on rail turns. Kelly came alive mid-heat. A first turn that had shades of the JJF layback snowboard carve, except tighter and a square snap pulled so tight that on the slow-mo he rode back through the wake he had created.
The French judge was so moved he awarded a nine.
Did you watch?
Did you feel the last vestiges of rational defence against Kelly being swept away in your mind?
Like the judges.
He’d been surfing his brains out for fives and now he was being showered with eights like broken glass at an Ashkenazi wedding.
Bad error in the reporting yesterday.
His Aipa looked too easily overpowered but we’d neglected the Tokoros he’d already dialed in at Pipe last year. They looked drivey and incredibly loose.
Somehow, the oldest guy on Tour by a decade, has made a unique selling point out of… looseness. It wasn’t the Ghost of Dane Reynolds but the Ghost of Kelly’s past.
Better than the ghost. A better ghost.
That’s it I’ve swallowed the Kelly Kool Aid – I don’t care about objectivity.
Kelly’s heat made the next couple of women’s heat a very tough watch.
So I went and paid a visit to my unicorn. I found one.
A non-surfing pro surfing fan.
Thirty plus Dad who works down the local hardware store.
“Where’d the eights come from?” he said. “Haven’t seen so many fucking eights all year long.”
Just breathe it in bruz, I counseled. Suspend your disbelief and let it wash all over you.
Caroline Marks smashed it but I could barely watch.
I’m coming around and I can see she is in the process of cleaning up the counter rotating arms. We’ll meet in the middle, this year.
What I could come around to is Sally Fitz, who is holding the most improved style and skill set on the womens Tour. It’s not Steph level but it ain’t too far off.
She took down Johanne Defay, easily.
Carissa still doesn’t quite look the Carissa of old. Head noise? It was shocking to see her husband on the steps. Somehow, the way the women surfers are treated and portrayed by the WSL seems to infantilise them.
That they might be active adults with hubbies and such comes as a weird shock.
Why? I don’t know.
Instead of being a dag, today was a great connector to a potential great day tomorrow.
I think a very big day for the Brazilian Storm, who have been rattled by WA and intimidated by the Box.
Lot of things have changed since they last surfed it.
I think a very good day ahead for pro surfing fans, even reluctant ones.
Margaret River Pro Women’s Round of 16 (Round 3) Results:
Heat 1: Courtney Conlogue (USA) 11.44 DEF. Silvana Lima (BRA) 6.33
Heat 2: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) 12.50 DEF. Coco Ho (HAW) 6.30
Heat 3: Caroline Marks (USA) 17.60 DEF. Paige Hareb (NZL) 11.10
Heat 4: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) 14.10 DEF. Johanne Defay (FRA) 9.20
Heat 5: Carissa Moore (HAW) 14.34 DEF. Keely Andrew (AUS) 8.17
Margaret River Pro Remaining Women’s Round of 16 (Round 3) Matchups:
Heat 6: Malia Manuel (HAW) vs. Brisa Hennessy (CRI)
Heat 7: Stephanie Gilmore (AUS) vs. Bronte Macaulay (AUS)
Heat 8: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Nikki Van Dijk (AUS)
Margaret River Pro Women’s Quarterfinals Matchups:
Heat 1: Courtney Conlogue (USA) vs. Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA)
Heat 2: Caroline Marks (USA) vs. Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS)
Heat 3: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. TBD
Heat 4: TBD vs. TBD
Margaret River Pro Men’s Elimination Round (Round 2) Results:
Heat 1: Jack Robinson (AUS) 12.60 DEF. Jack Freestone (AUS) 10.83, Wade Carmichael (AUS) 10.67
Heat 2: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) 15.34 DEF. Michel Bourez (FRA) 13.00, Jacob Willcox (AUS) 11.23
Heat 3: Yago Dora (BRA) 14.66 DEF. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 13.77, Frederico Morais (PRT) 13.46
Heat 4: Kelly Slater (USA) 16.50 DEF. Caio Ibelli (BRA) 14.40, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 13.93
Margaret River Pro Men’s Round of 32 (Round 3) Matchups:
Heat 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Soli Bailey (AUS)
Heat 2: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
Heat 3: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)
Heat 4: Jeremy Flores (FRA) vs. Sebastian Zietz (HAW)
Heat 5: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Heat 6: Willian Cardoso (BRA) vs. Kelly Slater (USA)
Heat 7: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA)
Heat 8: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Heat 9: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Jack Robinson (AUS)
Heat 10: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) vs. Seth Moniz (HAW)
Heat 11: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
Heat 12: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 13: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA)
Heat 14: Peterson Crisanto (BRA) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
Heat 15: Ryan Callinan (AUS) vs. Deivid Silva (BRA)
Heat 16: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
That’s was only 20 foot.
Kelly surfs those PU boards way better than the FireWire boards in serious surf.
I also liked to way he surfed on Akila Aipa’s boards in smaller surf. He seems to have a spark back on those boards. That FRK board he used at Bells did not look good under his feet. It looked like it had zero drive and skitty. Perhaps it was the fins? Anyways, It looks like it’s his year to win number 12. The push is on!
The Goat Rules and has done so much for surfing if he gets number 12 it will be worth it for himself and the whole sport of surfing.
equal by nature
Shame young Chippa did not make it through he has and is putting in the hard yards.
The best airs are done with no foot movement
The others look ugly and shit and I would not even score a nose pick air cause they are as disgusting as the name
Nice write up LT. During Kelly’s heat I texted a mate and said that turn was Kelly’s answer to John John’s turn. He’s smart enough to emulate it.
Emulate- copy and make better. Kelly is the master of reinvention.
Here’s my big prediction for Marg’s this year based on the WSLs own Rule of Progression:
If JJF does the same surfing as 2017 he will be down scored and lose the comp.
Someone else will realise his formula and create a newer, tweaked version of the searing, speed-generating wrap. The judges will give this person the nod for Progress.
We might not agree with the judges, loving the memory of JJF of ’17, but Progress is Currency to WSL.
It could be Kelly, it could be Quinoa, I don’t think Toledo has the move yet.
I showed up to interview her, having never met her before, and she immediately walked up and gave me a huge hug, like I’d known her for years. Generally, when I meet women athletes I’m interviewing in person, they are friendly, but that was next level. She was great to interview, for sure, and struck me as a genuinely nice person, which — you don’t always get a match between the public image and actual person like that.
She’s seems awesomely unaffected, which is amazing seeing she’s the best surfer on earth, sans jade stalk.
I like Carissa a lot too. She’s a really good surfer, but who also seems like a genuinely nice person. That’s why she’s proabably my favorite of the girls to watch, and root for. I’m always happy when she wins.
The women need their own tour. Simple as that, I’ll type that as they toss me overboard to Davey’s Locker.
Loved to see the Elf go down last night despite a gross over score on his last desperately safe attempt to steal a spot from Ciao who was underscored on a searing first wave. Glad Ke11y made it a moot point, but why do the judges love the Elf so much? YOu know exactly what he is going to do, has no bag of tricks beyond his safest turns and yet the Aussie panel still sells out for him? And please keep the microphone away from the Elf, puleeze.
Hippy Logic: Moving to the Box eliminates a host of goofies and turns and air games are superfluous. Part of me loves the grunt factor weighing in and part of me knows it’s going to become boring to a degree. IF so, let us all hope that John Florence and Ke11y are on opposites sides of the draw and we can all celebrate a historic final.
Very good point about the infantilising of the women. Pretty shocking.
Great write up, LT. Can’t come to the Sally Fitz party, though. Her surfing still looks awful to me.
Stephanie is the ring-leader. She started as an intelligent independent surfer girl with Rip Curl and then was paid big dollars by Quik to transform herself into a kinky bimbo. Carissa is cool but vulnerable to the bimboism. This is probably why I like Courtney. She carries herself like a woman & actually treats others with a “motherly” quality. Face the facts – sex sells!! Steph, Sally, Coco – 30 years old or hitting 30 but still marketing their “teenage” assets. https://imgur.com/zoPKhlu
Carissa is extremely unlikely to turn bikini model!
Maybe but she has expressed those aspirations, which was always very disappointing to me. She has talked often about those teenage insecurities about “body image”. For me, Carissa is an athlete & Hawaiian woman. She looks incredible as an athlete & Hawaiian – strong. Personally, I am not a fan of bimbos. Carissa’s strength, power, athleticism & Hawaiianess are the best assets she can ever have. While I am not a promoter of having children in our Post-Truth-Totalitarian-Zio-World, if Carissa had a baby, she would be full power & unstoppable. Having a baby would iron out her emotional fickleness.
And i love Carissa for that.
A tiny bit of mystery is always sexier than to bare it all.
Yeah
Since when did chicks want to look younger
WSL MEDDLING,
I was just saying Stephanie & Sally did not act like teenagers when they were teenagers. They acted like dedicated athletes. Now, they act like teenagers. I think to be a female athlete requires lots of “focus” (unless you are supernaturally gifted). Thinking too much about how you look, i.e., about how others perceive you, I think diminishes the focus. I doubt there is a favourable correlation between winning a WCT event and wearing a G-String. Even Stephanie was not winning during the phase when she became too kinky in her attire and too skinny in her physique. Stephanie is a big solid girl. I recall after she won her 2nd title, she was on TV and her shoulders were huge. The boys complain when Malia surfs in “nappies”. My guess is Malia now dresses more conservatively in a competition to have more focus on winning.
“Having a baby would iron out her emotional fickleness”…. ? Are
you kidding? So much projection amigo…. so much, so much emotional
attachment to the surfers. Steph and Sally now act like teenagers?
Courtney is not all awkward giggles and “stokes”. She is also a grade A
sociopath who was kicked off an HB beach for repeated acts of
selfishness…. no one would punch her because she’s a girl, but I know
mild mannered 50 year old professionals who wanted to deck her.
Apparently, the call was to confront the coach on the beach which
worked, they disappeared from State Beach.
And it doesn’t matter what outfit she wears.
Role models about what brings sporting success.
The Ashkenzi wedding bit made me laugh so hard. I love these updates the most!
part time gig as a wedding filmer.
done quite a few jewish weddings.
that is amazing, actually!
yes.
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You spoke for both of us. Mange tak, Bicko.
selv tak. Cher Mads
‘да
हाँ
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ndiyo .
نعم
是 shi
well written…WTH slater looks better than anyone has yet. ACE was shredding too…..he had one really great wave at the end of the heat
are they not aware of drugs in the west anymore?
They might of changed it to The Shark Beware ( jaws ) Open ? Reminds me of Dad Joke 367 . Beware the shark bites ! And he was ……. ?
Steve, I bet you feel like a right dingleberry now for bad mouthing Slatz for so long, hey?
I should feel worse
Whens Kelly gonna prove himself on the pretty big wave tour?
Those guys are pretty old and get beaten to shit, surfing on the CT is a lame cop out for KS and is getting increasingly creepy
Well at least you stood up , i dont quite understand why so many folks attack a man that has done nothing but be a great rep for proffesional surfing and like it or lump it obviously still has the skills to be in the top ten.
What is it you all hate him for being so good , sad observation really.
Kelly got excellent scores based on one massive turn. Got it.
uh no…….3 turns on both high waves….dude was shredding
But it was really that big first turn. My point is that the scale was too high.
they highballed him, for sure
Not as much as the wild card that got through
Better wave choice from the Old bloke at a much better time of the tide compared to the dribble they got for the All Australian Elimination Round heat 1 . He found some nice face to go to work on , and left the lip alone .
Oh…he surfed it well, no question. I just think it was too high a score overall.
I am having trouble this year trying to work out what is a 6 and what is an 8 ,even in similar conditions on the same day ?
Exactly…same here!
I think both Caio (7.50) and Kelly (8.43) were overscored. Ultimately, I agreed with the difference between their 1st two scores.
And not a Firewire in sight …
yepppp!…although maybe bourez has one? Kelly looks wayyy better on other boards.
Michel looked like he borrowed Currens skimboard
Nick mentioned awhile back Kelly’s need to find that projection of speed from his bottom turns, from days of ole’, carrying ever increasing momentum up and through his turns. It’s a riot clowning on Kelly, don’t get me wrong, but re-watching the Kelly Ace Caio got me thinking I Otto just shut the fuck up and enjoy getting to watch Kelly revisit happiness found with comfort on the equipment under his feet. His boards looked dialed. Only.took him 27 years. Okay, now I’ll shut up.
Great write up Steve.
Nick Dee knows whats up!
I love Barton! Barton surfed one of the most memorable waves I have ever seen. It was 1983 Straight Talk Tyres Open trails at North Cronulla in onshore closeouts high tide, I was sitting on the beach about 10 metres from the shoreline. Barton surfs a close out to the shore then “eyes” across a 6 inch reform lefthander along the shore. I thought to myself: “He cannot surf across that section”. Barton did a few pumps and surfed super high speed over 15 to 20 metres across a 6 inch dribble wave across the sand. Incredible, like Barton could walk on water. I’ve never seen such a tiny gutless piece of water surfed with such finesse. Jesus Christ = Barton Lynch = both walk on water.
Comes from growing up surfing nth steyne
I used to see it daily
Almost forgot.
“Silky. Smooth. Searing.” Barton revealing.
Weight in a surfboard
Allows a surfer to wait
For the rail to bite
Tokoro makes lovely boards. Lucky to have had a few . Who’d have thought that Kelly at the end of his trail , would end up riding on boards previously ( and possibly still ) surfed on by his biggest career rivals , Andy ,Mick and Parko ?
Reinvention… Control…
Kelly made a brand where they all work for him. Every single shaper…
As fisher would say
Youre losing it ,Steven
Thanks Steve.
I now feel inspired to watch what I assumed was an uninspiring trudge in lesser surf conditions.
EDIT: 30 minutes later and I still haven’t managed to watch it either on the WSL TV app on my Samsung, or using the browser via same. One can get in, but the actual heat playbacks are dead.
Wee tip E-Lo; if you want to increase viewer numbers, you might want to make sure the technology works. I’m tired of peering into a tiny phone screen and thought I’d give myself a treat. Uh uh. I guess not.
Whos steve?
Who isn’t Steve?
Eh?
I mean really.
Who isn’t?
Is this steve before the gender fluids?https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
And now , i liked him as a she
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… j
that camo works well.
thanks DA
Camisole?
Nothing says I live in Byron shire more than the obligatory Homer-Simpson-car surfboard in a tropical rainforest photo
I’ve lived there and I’ve got one or two.
The board or the photos to prove it?
god that board is an insane groveller, goes in anything
I’m confused by looking at it. The element of surprise is probably what makes it so fun
That thing looks super fun .
I’m Steve and so is my wife ……
An Australian notices a New Zealander having sex with a sheep.
He says “Hey mate, shouldn’t you be shearing that sheep?”
The New Zealander replies “Fuck off, I’m not shearing it with anyone!”
It was pretty shit apart from marksy counterweighting her boobs with her arms