Where surf hats are encouraged and the only bad questions are those that go unasked!
When Kelly Slater revealed his Surf Ranch for the very first time, trampling the title celebration of a young, hard-working Brazilian boy who had dragged hisself from a poverty-stricken favela to the top of the world we all gasped. It was… beautiful and took us all a while to get over seeing a barrel in Lemoore, California but as soon as we did get over it, we began wondering.
“What’s the end game here?”
It was imagined that many Surf Ranches would be built across the globe. Zero have been.
It was imagined that Surf Ranches would be center pieces in bold new mixed-use housing/retail developments from Vladivostok to Virginia Beach. They aren’t.
It was imagined that a user friendly version would roll out that allowed more than four people maximum to surf at a time. No.
We all know how much the damned thing costs to run per day, how many gallons of water and gallons of diesel etc. How expensive it is and we scratch our heads, these two years on, and wonder.
“What’s the end game here?”
Well, in an email sent straight from the World Surf League’s Santa Monica High Castle to a dear friend we finally have answers.
Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch will turn into a VAL paradise where surf hats are encouraged and the only bad questions are those that go unasked. Would you like to learn more?
Let me take your hand!
Throughout 2019, we will be introducing a new set of pilot experiences at Surf Ranch for individuals and smaller groups. Kicking things off this month, we’re launching Progression Sessions, a training program aimed at those looking to boost their surf skills.
As a past Surf Ranch guest, you, as well as your friends and family, have the first crack to take advantage of the limited number of sessions.
These personalized training experiences aim to advance your surfing skillset during the day and reward you at night with healthy food & beverage experiences, music, and a relaxing onsite stay.
Experience highlights include:
3, 1-hour Surf Sessions
In water coaching and guidance
Video capture of all waves
Personalized video review with our coaching staff
Equipment education and use of full Firewire demo quiver
Access to wakesurfing sessions throughout the day on our adjacent 20-acre recreational lake
And much more, see the attached brochure for all the highlights
You can click on the brochure here but, real talk, let’s get to costs. For one day in the tank with eighteen likeminded VALs divvying up three one hour sessions it’ll run $3500 per person plus if you want to bring a friend that’ll cost $500, also capped at eighteen. So… 36 surfers?
Like, twelve surfers in the water at a time?
Whoa.
If you would like to stay, on site, in an Airstream that’ll run $550 – $650 more.

And there we have the future.
So, are you pleased? Is it going to be wildly successful? Are you thinking about booking a session right now?
Hurry fast! Limited supply!
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
https://www.latimes.com/loc…
or…219 sixteen packs of Captain Sensible
Aka the “WSL Social Credit” system
With 3500 bucks you could either get 35 sessions at Waco…
OR
3 sessions at Kellys poo brown wave pool..
@disqus_nEmZsdyY0S:disqus You can “Join the lineup” at https://www.worldsurfleague…
They have openings for Housekeeper, Wave Operator, and even Director of Hospitality. The only downside is living in Lenmoore.
Someone take this job…we need a mole !! Finance Coordinator at World Surf League, Santa Monica, California. The Finance Coordinator serves as a key member of the Finance department reporting directly to our Chief Financial Officer and providing administrative support to key members of the Finance Team.
Consume . Be Silent . Die …….progress ?
New one is Oceanside Ca. based, 3 or 4 seasons, mainstream TNT stuff. Original aussie movie is good drama, great acting, Melbourne based.
https://www.rottentomatoes….
“SUP Available”?! What teases. Only one perhaps? Don’t bogart that SUP Elo. Leave some for me
Couple of questions
Can I bring my own board
Can I bring a couple of slabs of Emu export… Not into the organic grain bullshit
Cheers
Valiciousness.
Agree. Been hanging in through season whatever of Animal Kingdom for some west coast crime dramarama…….man they sure went cheapo for the surf scenes. The original Aus. version was good tho.
They do offer free cow fart, pesticide, fertilizer air to breathe.
gracias.
The heat makes you tired.
Can you smoke cones in the caravan? Also who shits on the car bonnets to complete the experience? Raimana would lay some hefty cable.
That will cost you another five hundred dollars.
In the form of a fine?
edited.
Go go go Raimana !!!
Get it!!
Bless you SSD! You’ve re-set my moral compass!, what was I thinking! Heck, why not a senior citizen day while we’re at it! I almost qualify ha, ha
I was in a grumpy place, but thanks for shaking me out of it, my righteous brother ♥️
not yet, been out of the states for a few weeks of a little barrel fest, when I get back I am sure I will enjoy a bit of a bermuda high flat fest..
that same exact thing happened like two years ago. craziness.
For those that can it Looks like a great deal with heaps of value add items for those that can’t or have already learnt surfing to the advanced level be thankful this place exists to keep the pesky VALS away from our secret desert hideaways.
I already booked my non refundable reservations yesterday. You guys are mean.