Usually the hot rumours turn out to have some flame behind the smoke. Not this one!
In 2012, I sat at the water cooler after the presser of the Quik Pro had concluded and had a random chat with Rip Curl boss Doug Warbrick.
The summary of his thought was something like: times is tough, (pro surfer) rosters will be cut and pro surfing will likely skid along on the bones of it’s arse for a while helped by the taxpayer. He might dispute the details but the gist of it is inarguable.
Dane had quit three months earlier, Quiksilver was on it’s knees, the whole damn thing looked like collapsing and it was six months before Speaker officially announced the Dirk Ziff rescue package.
Which means to pro surfing watchers casual and professional the annual Tour Event schedule is one of the most keenly anticipated “reveals” of the year.
I do confess to finding that more arresting than the latest crop of CT rookies. The most remarkable thing about the reign of Sophie G is that she’s managed to keep a relatively stable event roster. Even more amazing now that the great wavepool zig has to be zagged.
Usually, the hot rumours turn out to have some flame behind the smoke. We learnt via a deep mole from Margaret River that G-Land was back on the schedule next year. The countervailing rumour (reported by STAB) was that Snapper had been dropped. A persistent rumour started by Sean Doherty in 2018.
Despite the fact I was elbowed off Duranbah beach by a 200-pound born again gun nut this year my ardour for Snapper burns undimmed. It remains almost the perfect venue for a Pro surfing contest.
If it’s big you go to Kirra, medium: the best high performance wave on Tour at Snapper and, small D-bah will turn anything into rippable teepees. It also concentrates the circus and keeps it well the fcuk away from my local.
I’ll spare you the arcane details of getting to the bottom of the rumour. It’s complicated.
Surfing Queensland is the nominal permit holder, but they don’t know.
WSL pleads the fifth.
Gold Coast City Council is a bureaucratic nightmare that would put a Kafka novel to shame.
Eventually, I got on the buzzer to a sharp cat at Tourism and Events Queensland, underwriters of the Gold Coast event.
“Oh no,” he said ,when I put the rumour to him, “We’re on, I’ll send you a presser”.
I’ll try a Chas and walk you through it. Please hold my hand as we read together.*
Gold Coast secures WSL Championship Tour events until 2021. Tourism Industry Development Minister Kate Jones said the contract extension was another major win for Queensland and would deliver more than $13 million to the state.
“There’s nothing more Gold Coast than watching the best surfers on the planet carve it up at Snapper Rocks and we know this event is a highlight on the It’s live in Queensland major events calendar, offering a unique experience for visitors.”
Sophie Goldschmidt, WSL CEO said the Gold Coast had played a critical role in the surfing world, and specifically professional surfing since its inception in 1976.
“From its fantastic waves to its many Champions, the Gold Coast is one of the most revered and celebrated spots on tour,” she said. “Our partnership with TEQ ensures that the world’s best surfers will continue to come here over the next three years which we’re delighted about.”
Two things: Do you think Sophie actually wrote that and this is very old news.
Still, Snapper is on!
Short, sweet and good news. Even quitters can watch!
*Quoting press releases, Chas style, is actually a lot harder than it looks.
Missed the perfect opportunity to add Haruki Murakami to your list of authors there, Longtom.
Yep Kafka’s Das Schloss or Le Château or the Castle , though I can’t remember if I read it in French or English but definitely not German because after years trying I still Suck ! I can just see Long Tom walking around like the Land Surveyor K. and the frustration of trying to conduct business with non-transparent, seemingly arbitrary controlling systems, and the futile pursuit of an unobtainable goal…..
That would be pinkie. A snapper, is by definition, greater than 40cm fork length.
If you want a key of coke and wanna ride the rocket
Go down to the beach and put it in your pocket
Apologies Cosmic Psychos.
Cool.
Get my electronic mail address from the purveyors of this digital aged-care facility.
bit different in Aus, ours have a slightly more humped front end.
rare capture off most rocks.
I will take you for a paddle or a beer. Maybe here
https://grainstorenewcastle…
Yes and yes
I used to (sssshhh) get a wave all to myself all day, almost ever day, on the south shore. And I’ll bet good money that there are still plenny-more peaks there untouched on a daily basis. I know that ain’t literally on your doorstep but still…
If you are willing to travel down to Newy, I’ll happily meet you for a coffee, and lend you any number of my wacky quiver of misfits and oddballs, including a 25 YO+ Downing 6′ 10″.
You live in ‘Paradise’. Walk 30 seconds down the beach to the next amazing, consistently breaking peak.
Come try the shit-show of shifty, close-out beachies here with the loaded revolver of Great Whites cruising by, and you’ll perhaps appreciate whatcha got. And I, likewise, appreciate my occasional sojourn to the close-out beachies considering the grey freezing slop I used to suffer in Northern Europe.
Just sayin.
I have plans for Sophie, so I can’t award you that position immediately LGR… in the meantime, you’ll be in charge of our North Shore leg of the tour at CEO pay grade.
Fake News.
China has bought out the entire seasons beach permit window and is hosting a mass ‘Learn to surf’ / ‘shoot-anything-that-moves’ / Gambling orgy all next year for hordes of wealthy Chinese families.
Entire suburbs will be bulldozed to make way for luxury bungalows.
________________________
I had a dream list night about nuclear war. Woke up sweating and shivering.
Missiles installations popping up out of seemingly blank farmland.
Flashes in the distance, vaporising cities.
Desperate to get my family to safety, knowing that now where was safe and that we were doomed.
I feel a bit odd today because of that.
coke or dope?
https://www.stuff.co.nz/nat…
I need to bring my dog to the beach more often
Lol. Supposed to be dropped at piha for the quey
I am surprised to see you here. When I read that this morning I messaged a mate who lives close by…..his wife said he was out walking the dog down the beach……
Early bird gets the worm, Jonno ….
All I care about is G land.
would love to see these guys tested by that.
she can get nasty
That is the original Sin LGR. And think about it, the WSL has the least favorable slot in that calendar….
Tour Director Hippy will address that after the massive overhaul of employees and dumping the Headquarters in favor of a Kandui Villas office.
With your new location I don’t think you will have any issue attracting potential salty sponsors to pitch you.
My office will have a view John Wayne and it is called Bank Vaults.
Most endearing sentence in this piece? 9th paragraph, last sentence. Locals around the world echo your thought LT except in Margaret’s and Rio adjacent.
Now what happens if the audience “quits the tour”? Or has it already? Will Sophie find that hiding demographic of non surfing interest or will the Olympics save the whole joint from reeking like dead fish?
Wonderful questions for Waterman Ziff to ponder.
I think it’s time for Tour Director Hippy, has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? Ziff can just begin direct depositing my account now… first thing I do is find out what happened to Pat O and replace him with Long Tom.
I’ll be reviewing resumes this evening boys and girls, make sure you apply for the job of your choice and I’ll fire the current worker at that position immediately.
I would like to apply for the head role in the Evaluation and Monitoring section – where the judges efforts would be live reviewed for accuracy, consistency and transparency. I would like to run this from the bar of the Kandui resort. Will need an open bar tab, accom and 2 flights to Bali a month to recharge my batteries and pick up some steaks from my favourite butcher there.
Please return with Prime Scotch Fillets for me and I love your work ethic. Love love love the live reviewing of the judges with full open thread comment section. Innovating the “sport” is our middle name.
Heya Hippy,
You gonna add some women to Thee Judgin’ Panel?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Or just always have 5 guys, only, judge every event???
From WSL’s website a moment ago:
https://www.worldsurfleague…
Meet the 2018 World Surf League Championship Tour Judges
To kick off the 2018 WSL Championship Tour (CT), we asked the judges’
panel some questions to get to know them, from how long they’ve been
judging contests, to their earliest influences. Without further ado,
meet the 12 people whose jobs are critical to the WSL’s mission, but who
typically stay behind the scenes.
RW’s question:
Is there not 1 woman found competent enough to judge pro surfing now~a~dayz?
Hmmmm…
jodi cooper has some experience with judges …
Are you rolling out the Welcome Mat ?
you don’t think she can hold down the position?
She is a Cooper after all so she might be able to hold herself in the drink ?
pretty stout !
My second order of business will be to unlock the secret of who is judging…. I fucking don’t know a single name of any judge. Are they under gag order? Why not women judging? Why is it secret anyway?
I would like to be in charge of enforcing a strict drinking, drug taking and general misbehavior policy on the surfers. No more of this serious athlete bullshit. You hand in your rashie after a heat, you’re handed a beer if you win, a whole goodie bag if you lose. The losers are then kept in a pen until the end of the event where they have to consume the contents of their goodie bag, live video feed to the fans. Once the drunken grudges filter through to the heats we’ll see some real entertainment.
To many married blokes with kids ….. No wonder there all smiles instagramming baby cuddling like old school politicians selling their wares and influence to the highest bidder .
Where are the single blokes and the flying pheromones and blood feuds and GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER ….The last bloke who screamed that at Kolohe a few years ago wasn’t even in the Contest …. I keep wondering why young master Colapinto is so happy after a pretty shit Year ?
Answer : HE IS THE ONLY SINGLE BLOKE ON TOUR except for Kelly who is bald and nearly dead … ok nearly 50 .
So true. don’t let the families near the event, maybe. Betrothed behaving badly. Sure, we’ll end up with a few broken homes, but that’s totally worth it (?).
I thought Kelly was boning that Hawaiian girl. Or the girl with the Hawaiian name.
I dont think the olympics is going to chnage anything
its a wave pool. not real surfing
Can tell you from experience one hand is rarely talking to the other within government departments, let alone amongst them. And especially not at different levels (eg state v local)
Though it seems still likely it’d run, maybe just with a diff sponsor. 2020 Anusol Snapper Pro?
Stab didn’t say Snapper was dropped, they said Quik may pull out. The possibility exists that Snapper will be held but run without a presenting sponsor, same as Tahiti or Margs.
Also, those quotes are very old, the press release was issued 18 months ago (March 2018):
https://teq.queensland.com/…
Just how sharp was that cat at TEQ?
Actual journalism, what’s this?
Correct, old presser.
Stab insinuated without Quik Snapper would not go ahead.
As Doherty did last year.
Commenters picked up on the rumour and ran with it, like the G-land rumour except in reverse.
Ziff might foot the tab, but most likely Quik will pick it up for a song, like this year.
Rumour is strong that a CT or at least QS 100000 BE held between North wall and the point of Lennox during july
The Great White Open may bite those who like Tennis , to keep Aunt Sophie happy but I’m not sure if the eventual winner should be encouraged to leap over the Net into the great white open jaws ?