"There's a lot of athletic, gifted surfers..."
After a stunning rebuke from constituents, BeachGrit principals convened through the night and made the decision to call a moratorium on World Surf League slander and join the “Wall of Positive Noise™.”
Underneath a piece lightly chuckling at an elderly Dutch professional surfing superfan/bot, Wiggolly’s Paddling Style, long known for a caustic wit and no-holds-barred directness, commented, “I’m kinda getting over reading articles criticising the WSL. It’s just a bit too easy. Can one of you go and do something remotely investigative. I am not asking for much. Even if you just find out what style g-banger Sage runs or something. I’m getting bored shitless here.”
Derek Rielly got right to work, making himself available to Bloomberg news for a glowing report about the WSL’s beautiful boy Kanoa Igarashi titled The Non-Stop, Endorsement-Packed Life of Japan’s Surfing Superstar:
“There’s a lot of athletic, gifted surfers but not many as driven as Kanoa,” says Derek Rielly, co-founder of the surf website BeachGrit. “He seems to love all the machinations around pro surfing—the companies, the people, the attention, the cameras. He thrives off it.”
Chas Smith, meanwhile, is working the phones, frantically trying to find out what style g-banger Sage runs. In the meantime, he can report with full confidence that current world number 5 Italo Ferreira pairs white Billabong athletic socks pulled taut with fluorescent orange and pink Nike Monarchs.
More as the story develops.
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Damnit! I lost my orange Cool Bus VIP bracelet from the Fresh Water Pro.
It was on the same hand that KS shook back there in the VIP area for the Fresh Water Pro.
I swore I would never wash that hand, but I did want to keep that orange Cool Bus VIP bracelet.
Damnit!
Bought and paid for muthafuckahs.
Of the 12 windowed articles on bitchgripe.com, seven of them are about WSL and/or wavepools. And one of them is about another surf-related billionaire.
The others are actually about surfing. Kinda. Grudgingly.
Greater than 50%!!!!! (I think)
What does that tell you?
bitchgripe.com is the negative publicity arm of the WSL.
In Dirk Ziff’s back pocket along with his smartphone and Unobtanium Cards and Fresh Water Pro VIP bracelets. (I lost mine, dangit.)
Cynicism? Not.
Harsh reality.
You’re all a bunch of saps. Every time you type in “WSL” or “Surf Ranch” or “Ziff” or “Kelly Slater” you magnify their online profile.
You all probably voted for Trump, didn’t you?
A bunch of saps wearing dumb hats on a Trump casino bus, thinking he’s going to make you rich, when all you’re going to do is get fleeced.
Damn surfers are dumb.
Miki Dora the Explorer?
As someone who had the misfortune to be stuck in London for a year when this awful piece of dross was on top of the pops, I can say that hopefully he’s living in a back alley dumpster being anally abused by stray cats on a nightly basis…
Blood sugar Alie he magick sex magick sex magick
Will he reveal who I need to kill?
Who was that guy that ripped in Huntington Beach? Liam? He could be Aussies next hope – and of course Ryan C could go nuts
Liam O’Brien…who is L.O.B.
Or she. Girls like drugs too.
Wiggollys Paddling Style = Agent of Change
Never thought I’d see the day!
Agent of Orange.
the wsl deserves all the derision, and more. dont stop. its not slander when its the truth.
Let’s never fight again… until the next time we disagree.
Same same. If Miyazaki is any indicator, Ohhara and Murakami have a better shot at a medal.
I miss the moratorium. The good old day.
c’mon we have incredible news from the WSL today , Australia will get it’s first K-Tub…ol’ Starky can sure talk up a project , especially when it’sa local council/Govt $’s
https://www.surfingaustrali…
Yeah, when it’s not your local council. I’ve never felt so NIMBY-ish.
Anytime Brother. I’d kick in the doors of Hell for ya armed only with a squirt gun.
That’s interesting that Kanoa’s team was testing levels of lactic acid in Kanoa’s blood after waves. But not as interesting as them testing dopamine levels after waves to determine if he was having a good time.
Hopefully they’ll make that a feature on SurflineSessions™ sometime soon. I’ve always wanted to know for sure if I actually enjoy surfing.
Need a good old fashioned drug test fail to spice things up
The only slightly interesting story about the Olympics is if Slater or JJ will get on.
Don’t even care what happens to either if they do.
18 lbs!!! Hes adapting to Cito after life in Pismo on the streets.
I got an ex’s cat up to 28 lbs. Russian grey. Still wasn’t a dog.
I want to keep him reasonable, for health reasons. Hes just large., maybe 3 to 4 years old. Been here 1 month now, stays real close to us. He was kinda freaked out about the 5 pack of dogs here at first, but now owns them. He bums out when he cant go out with them. (I have him wear a leash so I can track him a bit)
He has some issues with the other front house cats here though, so thats next on the meet and greet.
We had an adopted small Russian blue for awhile, super sweet, some asshole declawed her, and I think that caused her trouble climbing to escape predators. She disappeared. Its suburban here but coyotes still own it. We always have a pack of dogs, so if the cats stay close, they last a long time. Getting them to all come in at night….yeah, herding cats.
AWe shit.. well then.. Fuck you Dlove and your love of Kanoa and all things Italo.. fuck it all then. See Wiggs, we don’t change, and maybe Cote was right?