Revenge: Bloodthirsty mob kills “man-eating” shark, hoists it upon their shoulders and parades it through town!

An act of solidarity with beleaguered brothers across "the pond."

In what can only be described as an act of solidarity, townsfolk in Plymouth, England killed a “man-eating” shark over the weekend, hoisted it upon their shoulders, paraded it through town then chopped it up and ate it themselves.

As you well know, there has been an explosion of Great Whites just across the Atlantic in Cape Cod. The beasts have gratuitously stalked surfers, shuttered beaches, terrorized innocent children and created mass hysteria amongst a population used to Irish mobsters and alcohol-induced violence but unaccustomed to horrors from the deep.

As you should know, Plymouth, America is actually in Cape Cod and the landing spot of those brave Pilgrims in 1620 and so, some 399 years later the familial bonds remain taut.

As reported in the Independent:

A large blue shark was “paraded” through the street before it was butchered, cooked and served to the crowd at Plymouth’s seafood festival, prompting criticism from attendees and animal rights groups.

Photographs show the creature held aloft by two men, before it was used in a demonstration on the festival’s main stage.

The Ocean Conservation Trust, which runs Plymouth’s National Marine Aquarium, led the criticism of the weekend’s scenes on the city’s historic Barbican.

Helen Gowans, from the charity, said: “As an ocean conservation charity, we do not condone the eating of blue shark and were disappointed to see that a blue shark was shown off at the ‘catch of the day’ session, as well as being featured on the chef’s stage.”

Members of the public also reacted angrily to the shark’s appearance at the festival.

Those ungrateful “members of the public” would do well to remember how we Americans came and saved them in both World Wars and will also save them after Brexit when the United Kingdom edges out Puerto Rico to become the 51st state.

A real question for surfers, though, is how this act of revenge will play for us? Will an unsuspecting bro out for a little paddle be dragged beneath the waves and forced to dance a scene from Baz Luhrmann’s masterpiece Moulin Rouge, likely Lady Marmalade, for an audience of Great Whites before being torn limb from limb?

More as the story develops.