Is this the end or the beginning?
So there I was, ready to tuck into episode five of HBO’s Succession when the most scintillating message danced upon my telephone’s screen. “WSL closed Kelly Slater Wave Co.’s Solana Beach office and let almost all of the original staff go two weeks ago. Even more strange is the rumor that they are shutting Surf Ranch down at the end of 2019 and taking the pool off tour.”
What? I rubbed my eyes and read again but there it was in black and white. Office closed, Surf Ranch getting shuttered and taken off tour.
An explosive rumor. A real earthquake.
I fired back for more details, making sure that disgruntled ex-employees weren’t passing on bad information and my source could not confirm but didn’t think that was the case.
And WHOA!
Now, I know that the Surf Ranch facility was never supposed to be open to the public when it first came online in 2015, days after Adriano de Souza won his maiden World Title, rubbing “the hardest working man in surfing’s” dreams into the ground. It was built to be a test facility, somewhere to dial in the technology. The public’s interest, and possibly the difficulty in opening a new tank somewhere more pleasant, say outside of Miami, might have forced co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff and co.’s hand in doing some invite-only days in Lemoore which turned into the Freshwater Pro née Surf Ranch Pro née Founders Cup but that was never the original plan because who in their right mind would ever want to go to Lemoore?
The Surf Ranch facility has done its job, quite frankly, and it stands to reason that it would eventually be mothballed. The question I have is why hasn’t the World Surf League sold any other tanks? Why let Wavegarden and American Wave Machines and Surf Lakes get so far ahead? There must be a plan but what? Acquire Surf Lakes and Surf Lakes technology? Go on a massive sales bender after the Freshwater Pro, pushing Kelly Slater’s vision into every bankrupt mall in America? Figure out a way to combine the Surf Ranch barrel, which takes a minimum of four minutes in between each wave that only one Waterperson of the Year can ride at a time, with the high-volume experience of a Wavegarden?
You recall that the WSL recently purchased the NLand tub in Austin and hauled the Wavegarden machinery away. Will Kelly Slater be standing shoulder to shoulder with Matthew McConaughey at the end of 2019, days after Kolohe Andino wins his maiden World Title, showcasing a perfect crouchy barrel that can fit ten Texans at a time?
Will Kolohe be sad?
More as the story develops.
(Note: The story has developed already! A full-throated defensive of Surf Ranch’s longterm health straight from Santa Monica!)
Fiji and Trestles are missed along with the Maldives etc.,,,,
“the horror…
the horror…”
Ah c’mon man.
Do I have to pull all the weight around here?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
why do i suspect that on assigment for beachgrit one could expense gucci loafers (the ones with the bottle opener in the sole) but not get reimbursed for gas $ or any hotel room not named the tachi palace?
My damn streak broke yesterday. So close to the record yet so far.
Wave tanks not going to work commercially. Been saying it. Steady-state (once the novelty and initial-push momentum) these are moderately appealing novelties that target a little sliver segment of people. Couple that with the reality of an extremely expensive and difficult thing to operate, and you have the recipe for…a failed business.
KSWC seems like the best wave for contests (FWIW), but totally impractical for public parks. Hydrofoils seem like a dead-end technology generally speaking, everyone else is doing different stuff now. Wavegarden has moved on with their new Cove but not sure if KSWC is working on anything else? If this is all they got then the WSL probably bought the wrong company.
“shutter” the lemoore pool? that’s a lot different from just taking it off tour.
as for the former, color me skeptical.
from what I’ve heard, the WSL bought the technology from the KWSC that powers the pool, but did they actually purchase the land and the machine? my understanding was that the original investors, (including an heir to the charles schwab retail brokerage fortune) held on to their stake in the lemoore pool.
anyone with more details on that, please spill it.
also, i wonder if there’s any connection between this rumor and jeff bizzack’s legal problems? surely the corner suite in the solana beach office was his, no?
Seems like Silcon Valley execs are more than happy to rent the place for $50K a day to gorilla squat 5 feet in front of the barrel…
Nice to read that the WSL might be getting rid of Slater’s cow shitter. Speaking of, so when is this BG Commenter Poo Connest Nick’s been talking about happening? I’ve been training (growing a patchy, calico mustache to intimidate and pysch out my competitors) relentlessly and am ready to embarrass myself. I’m excited, ’cause I hear the singlets are bleeding rainbow neon (for the coral!) crop tops with shark pictures and Royce Fraley quotes screenprinted on ’em!
And how will BG best their 2018 Surf Ranch roadside billboard Radvertisement.
I say we recruit a.local rancher’s bull, strap one of those shark fin things people put on their dogs, and walk the perimeter of Surf Ranch bull shark in tow, megaphone in hand warning the crowd of a bull shark sighting in the area, but just outside the contest zone.
Palm Springs pool seems to be charging ahead?
lowers back on?
…I’ve heard fernando de noronha?
We did it!! we did it!! Fuck Yeah!! you cunts are the best!!! (In a shitty, smarty pants kick me in the balls kind of voice) The grumpy old local rules mutha fucka!!!!
IMO the KSWC lobbied fast and furious to have the Tokyo Olympics Surfing competition held in a newly constructed KSWC facility that at the time had promised to be complete for the Games. That proposal got rejected. Then the WSL turned their sights to Paris Olympics 2024. In June of this year, the President of Paris Olympics Committee as well as the IOC summarily rejected that proposal stating that France had plenty of naturally born waves and that the very suggestion of using an artificial wave for the Surfing competition not only violated natural law, but also common moral standards for decency including an unspecified list of Human Rights (and Lefts) recognized by even the most tyrannical dictators currently shuffling about in their pajamas all day long.
And with that being the reality of things, the long play for KSWC is dead in the freshwater.
pulling the plug (?)
And the ship slowly began to sink. Get off your bicycle Elo and climb aboard.
Is it the beginning or the end?
It’s both. After a dormant 9 months since the acquisition, Surf Ranch Austin (nee NLand) just proposed building plans to Travis County to move forward with the project. They’ll scrap the entire NLand pool and build a larger one in its place… https://www.kxan.com/news/r…
Side note… me thinks surf parks (and all technology and progress in general) are like the notion of good luck/bad luck, or the children’s book Fortunately by Remy Charlip.
It’s a telling book, wise beyond its simplicity.
Can one of you surf journos / proper journos, i think i mean you chas take a look at this? …. The Independent: Japan to dump radioactive water from Fukushima nuclear disaster into Pacific, minister says.
http://www.independent.co.u…
On the case!
Chas, honest question. How much do you enjoy your job, literally and figuratively?
…do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life!
Have you always loved stirring the pot?
I got fired as my high school newspaper editor for writing an editorial about how people with AIDs deserved it unless they got it though a blood transfusion. Uh oh! And yes!
Um Chas I think you ought to be peeking through the windows of these guys.
https://www.sandiegouniontr…
I’m guessing you think that surfers attacked by sharks deserve it?
Every one of them.
You just pissed off Rick Kane!