Who do people think you are?
I’ve been Tony Hawk’d my entire teenage’d life ’til now life. Skinny, tall, a bird-like nose. Stringy. Shifty. Well-meaning folk have stopped me in the airport. Arby’s employees have asked if “Charles Smith” ain’t but a nom de plume. I’ve signed autographs for thirty-year-olds who loved playing video games and I wasn’t about to burst their hideous bubble. Tony fucking Hawk has haunted me like an AIDsy scarecrow. An honest-to-goodness Grim Reaper and who wants to be that oft married man? Who wants to cheat on his third wife with the wife of the best man at his first three weddings then marry her too making a hat trick plus one?
Tony Hawk has been my cross to bear.
For today I shuffled my six-year-old daughter to Party City in order to purchase her school Halloween costume (different from regular Halloween night obviously). She was prepping to be a zombie Pink Lady from the musical Grease. Zombie obviously again because what right-minded person doesn’t zombie Halloween? She’ll be zombie Marie Antoinette for real Halloween with a red stripe across her delicate neck etc. but I digress.
So there we were in Party City buying zombie makeup and a Pink Ladies jacket (official Grease merchandise). I sauntered to the checkout man, arms full of wares, and he said, “Do you know who you remind me of? I mean, look exactly like?”
I winced and responded, “Yes.”
He answered, “Yeah. I bet. Matthew McConaughey in True Detective. The moustache. The hair. The whole thing.”
And I have never been more elated in my life.
A look I can actually aspire to.
But it made me think. What is the greatest compliment you have ever received in your life (up to this moment)?
Also, I surfed a bunch of knee-high closeouts yesterday. It was fun.
So surfing. But more importantly who do people say you look like?