Is this the actual end?
And I never thought I’d see the day. I never thought I would pour my fifth afternoon cocktail to a headline declaring that Kiss, the genderqueer New York supergroup that brought us such hits as “Love Gun” “Lick it up” and “I was made for lovin’ you” was actually made for lovin’ “man-eating” Great White sharks but I did and it’s true.
Shockingly true.
And there I was pouring my sixth afternoon cocktail when I read Kiss to Play First-Ever Show for Great White Sharks.
I rubbed my eyes, took another sip, clicked and sallied forth.
This November, KISS will play the first-ever show for great white sharks. (Turns out, they’re big fans.) Human fans can reserve their spot for this one-time-only concert event starting October 14. Brought to you in partnership with Animals On Airbnbexperiences.
What you’ll do: Welcome to “Shark Rock City,” where KISS will perform a live set off the southern coast of Australia to entice sharks, who love the low-frequency sounds of rock and roll.
This once-in-a-lifetime ocean concert takes place on November 18 in Port Lincoln, where you’ll board a boat at 6:30 a.m. and cruise along the coastline looking for birds, dolphins, and other wildlife. For the main event, you’ll head out to the deep waters of the Indian Ocean — one of the biggest feeding grounds for great whites.
Shocking.
Though I suppose Kiss has always been progressive but do Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley and the boys understand the current state of siege we are living under?
Are they not aware that these “man-eating” Great Whites they shall be performing for have turned my once-rustic North County, San Diego into a teeming hell? Not cognizant that around Cape Cod men, mostly surfers, are being eaten like pesce crudo? Not conscious of the truth that “man-eating” Great Whites have traveled to Rhode Island for the first time in recorded history?
Rhode Island is but a three hour drive from The Spotted Pig in New York’s Manhattan. Too close for comfort, if you ask my now expert opinion but are you speciesqueer?
Do you want to share a plate of bibb salad with radicchio, shaved radish and mustard vinaigrette with “man-eating” Great White sharks on their way to the already hammered Boogie Room?
I didn’t think so.
More as the story develops.
