It is time to scale the Wall of Positive Noise.
And the World Surf League’s President of Content, Media, Studios and Poppin’ Fresh dinner rolls Erik “ELo” Logan really upended my week. Really just threw my next year completely off too. There I was, a few days ago, putting the finishing touches on BeachGrit‘s job announcement for a gender fluid pan-Asian senior editor when I stumbled across his interview in the industry journal SportsPro.
As I read ELo’s words, passions, his grand plan for our Pastime of Kings I realized that the time has officially come to go to war against the Santa Monica.
There is simply no other way.
If we refuse to act, surfing will cease to exist in any recognizable form. It’ll become a PG-rated romantic comedy or worse. It’ll become Transformed.
And while BeachGrit has been waging a low-level insurgency for a while now there’s just no other choice except to move into a fully declared rebellion.
But we’re going to need more people if we hope to scale the Wall of Positive Noise. We’re going to have to recruit and every recruitment drive must begin with a barely coherent, way too long, rambling call to arms. I like to think mine is Jim Jones meets ISIS.
Oh don’t worry, you’re in here too. Skip to the 10:30 mark, sit back and smile.
Then do some stretches.
The revolution will require flexibility.
Let’s take down a billionaire and then take down Chas’ haircut. Man that’s some janky doolap there
I would rather hammer wooden stakes into my ears than listen to the moronic bullshit that cascades out of the mouths of the wsl clowns stop it guys and girls before you go blind
Wait, are we not confusing pro surfing with surfing here? Pro surfing may becoming vanilla (depending what side of the wall of positive/negative noise you’re on) – but pro surfing is no all surfing… it’s just a little slither… if you don’t like, don’t watch, no?
I think no. I think pro surfing, and the “universe” the World Surf League is attempting to build is something different from what we’ve seen before.
Hmm, not really revolution inspiring.
Key takeaways and feedback from the eight mins I won’t ever get back:
1. “Core surfers” (mentioned over 10 times) don’t give a shit about jock surfing, wsl, or anything you basically wasted a bunch of breathe on.
2. When was the last time you surfed? You look pale.
3. Those over-sized wife beaters don’t really scream “core surfer”.
4. Shutterstock wants its photos back.
5. Beachgrit ad popups are super annoying.
Thanks.
Using shutterstock photos is provocative. Also, do you really know core surfers don’t consume pro surfing?
My mate is still pushing his 16 year old daughter into waves, caroline Marks was on tour at the same age, I can’t believe she lets him…
And nice muscles
Chas:
https://youtu.be/cmAlQvDQGoI
and then…
https://youtu.be/qtTi_uyYynA
The problem, is that you are insinuating that you are not full of monetized shit.
That’s not the problem I’m insinuating.
That’s a relief.
Carry on soldier.
Reveille at dawn!
Well, I just quoted an old adage–pepole can apply that to the Wsl if they feel so inclined or with their own interpretation of how and if that should apply………
I do zero social media, but your vid made me create an account and post. Congrats. A couple of points:
1.Gold aviators really accentuate your Johnny Depp/Fear and Loathing/Hunter S. Thompson vibe.
2. I agree with just about everything you are saying and have been privately trolling Beachgrit for the last year or so. FUCK censored surfing. The Wall of Positive Noise that you’ve coined is the digital equivalent of putting a Starbucks and/or Chipotle on every corner. Wozzle is selling the dry-shampoo, pumpkin spice latte drinking, Target shopping version of surfing. Thanks to BG for being the voice of reason amongst the sea of bullshit.
stoked you got the PH spelling
This is, and has been for a decade, a major prob. I learned from a friend to just tell them that they are being “rude”. Break it down for them, kindergarten teacher style. Explain that being rude isn’t fair, it causes stress, and makes a bad experience. Makes sure you explain it straight to the offending “dad”. Then explain an alternative, paddle away, and let them chew on it for a minute. It can actually work! And it needs done, like yesterday!
Excellent choice of David & Goliath painting, Chas, I think Caravaggio got to you a little bit!
Someone else may come and try after the Wsl, ( if they fold, unlikely with Dirk’s billions) but they’re not going to have near as much money as billionaire Durk, has, to throw at surfing. For me, it’s the principal if nothing else. And trust me, there will probably be someone in you way…….either dropping in or paddling out in front of you…..On that set wave…….you had you chance……..
For me, it’s the principal about it, (if nothing else), to just do ‘nothing’ and sit back while they monatize, abuse, exploit, ‘degrade’ etc.,etc., surfing, in the name of profits, most likely crowding the line- ups even more, no thanks. What’s the old adage–“all it takes for evil? negative forces? ________? ________? to prosper is for good men to do nothing”…….
I’ve always thought the best contests to watch with most drama are the ones where waves are consistent, but somewhat imperfect. When it’s perfect, it’s all about the waves; surfer gets a 6 sec. barrel…yawn….next guy gets an 8 sec. one, etc. Sections are needed for airs.
The best can take less than perfect conditions and make them look perfect. Making drops few can make, or coming out of barrels that shouldn’t be made; finding barrels where others don’t. Laying down smooth turns where others boards chatter.
I think when a lot of people find out how long, how many hours, days years it takes to get proficient at surfing, I think I hope they will drop out.
Most of us do here I would say.
Thing is..they are clogging up the lane in the meantime at certain breaks.
Sure
A kid or a VAL can get up and go straight for 20 seconds and get a feel of what’s to come on a soft top.
In the old days, I would say a majority of people got lent a shit 6’2″ x19 x 2-1/2. Much harder to get up and go 10′.
I would consider a soft top as a gateway drug.
So it’s everywhere. I’m at one of the softer Trestles spots this summer (neighbor can get on base – easy), hour before sunset, 2-3 very occasional 4′ inconsistent swell on offer (which was about as big as it got this summer). Dad and daughter, both on shortboards are positioned a little deeper than the small crowd. Reason being that when that rare 4 footer came, both paddled and at the right moment dad gives a shuv to 13 yo daughter and she drops in. She angles and sort of trims herself down the line and paddles back to dad to wait for next one. She got every set wave that came through, with dad giving her the push in. Thing is, she was competent enough to get to her feet and go down the line. She should be paddling in herself. This kind of thing is more tolerable when the kid is like under 8, but at 13….next time I back paddle.
Wow! That was more beautiful than 95’ Leonardo DiCaprio
Awesome, I’m all in!…. we would need a lame and pretentious flag…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
or
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Yes and yes.