"Dangerous marine life."
There was once a time when Portugal’s navy ruled all the oceans of the earth. The tiny European nation wielded this power by exploring far away worlds, conquering some and destroying others, walloping competing navies while also enjoying lightly toasted Francesinhas.
All things come to an end, though, and Portuguese naval might faded with the invent of Great Britain. Soon there were only aggrieved memories of what once was. The faint tang of vanished power mingling with the smell of bacalhau a bras.
Well, breaking news from St. Augustine, Florida, the oldest continually inhabited settlement of European origin in the United States of America, suggest that a revival may be in the works as an armada of “furious” man o’ wars have surrounded the city, washing up on the beach, stinging people and forcing them to urinate all over each other but let’s go directly to the source, to ABC’s First Coast News for the terrifying latest.
If you are planning to celebrate the holiday break at the beach, be careful. There have been multiple reports of Portuguese Man O’Wars washing up along local beaches.
Photos posted on various Facebook groups showed the Man O’Wars on St. Augustine Beach as well as Neptune Beach.
However, if you are at an isolated beach with no lifeguard tower, there are a few ways you can treat yourself. According to Web.com, you can stop the stinging by rinsing the area with vinegar for at least 30 seconds.
Next, remove tentacles with a pair of tweezers and soak the affected area in hot water for at least 20 minutes
Clean open sores three times a day and apply antibiotic ointment. Bandage if needed.
Keep an eye on the flags that are flying at the beaches. If it’s purple, it means “dangerous marine life” and you’re advised to use caution when in the water.
Remove tentacles with a pair of tweezers? Clean open sores three times a day?
Very disgusting and, I imagine, against the Geneva Conventions. I imagine this will all be reviewed by The Hague soon.
But, quickly, have you ever paddled through a jelly whilst surfing? Was it a Portuguese man o’ war exhibiting his nationalistic zeal? How did it end? Did you bring up Portugal’s failing economy in a dismissive way?
More as the story develops.