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Coming Tomorrow: A BeachGrit surprise so unexpected you’ll forget about impeachments, Megxits and mankind’s collapse into vicious tribal warfare!

It's anti-depressive!

It was the great American philosopher Rodney King who asked the question, “Can’t we all get along?” The answer then, in 1993 while Los Angels burned, was a resounding “No…” which has only become louder, more resounding, as the decades spin on. The United States’ two major political parties, Democrats and Republicans, don’t speak anymore. Democrat family members refuse to invite Republican family members over for dinner.

Israel and Palestine.

The British are getting out of Europe and the Royals are getting out of the British Royal Family.

John Lennon and The Beatles.

Surfers who drive many cars and fly many planes hate Norwegians who make their oil.

Shark livers.

And is the world officially over? Has mankind reached its breaking point where brother will kill brother will kill sister will kill brother until only the blind remain?

Have you lost hope?

Believe in BeachGrit for one more dark night and tomorrow it shall be restored.

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Glitchy

Seeing the subject line in the email from Vissla startled me enough to stop chewing on my crayon. Reading it is even better. “With reluctancy and hesitation”, indeed!

RS

Selling out like a craft brewery?

Waxingfitzgibbous

I hope it’s good Chas. You wouldn’t want to be, the boy that cried shark!

Mapski

Where did you get Beth’s board?

JOB's second chin

Chas and Ashton announce they’re putting aside their differences to collab on a line of exclusive men’s knit headwear embroidered with tasteful tribal motifs.

channelbottom

Am I unbanned yet?

Brutus

damn that was tomorrows news , now you spoilt it!
or….
BG bought the WSL , and all VALS have been banned fro the ocean and now have been consigned to become poolies never to be seen at your local beach again?

channelbottom

What news? I was just asking a random question.

Brutus

the end of VALS could be the news , or maybe your ban has been lifted?

channelbottom

I dunno.
Maybe this is a fake thread for people who’ve been banned to type into, to fool them into thinking they ain’t banned no more.

(Tin foil hats on!)

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Did you get banned CB? Wow. Now that I think of it, I have not seen you here lately. I must have missed it. You are usually pretty well behaved. But I have been pretty busy lately and have not been very caught up with the Grit.

samwaters

You got banned too?

NEGATRON

You get timeout when the Freerider quotes start appearing.
This must be the only website you’re not banned from?

Hippy

Just don’t mention slang terms for possible surfing places when “pros” post videos available internationally of other sensitive locations. Deletion required.

Pffftt….

NEGATRON

Pros are disrespectful. I’m not.

Astro rightly pulled us up on it.
No need to even mention names even slang ones at that, especially at another’s local.
Serves no purpose. WE KNOW.

Hippy

And no one could have noticed unless Astro pointed it out.

Hippy

and no one did.

But some other place is fair game. ?

NEGATRON

If a local asks for respect I oblige.

Hippy

I’d argue under private circumstances.

NEGATRON

We getting a shit ton of reads here.

Hippy

Nega, that’s a Trump argument. Same 20 people comment. Are the other 1,999,980 visitors silent in the comment section? No offense, but there are not a lot of editorials here, just platforms to inspire comments (Chas). Which is very ok, that’s what this medium is.

NEGATRON

true. Comment away, but naming spots on a public platform regardless of size is just not necessary.
For the record A third of the overall punters that read down here don’t comment.

Phat-wan kerr

so I shouldn’t mention sna–er or pi–line.

Lemon Next to the Pie

Fuck them and fuck the locals that live there. Well, there goes our BG sponsored tour of the Australian and Hawaiian legs.

Chief Hot stuff

Womanly beach.ok?
Long reefer?

NEGATRON

You can mention any spots I don’t surf!

SSD

What line did my shit comment that got removed cross? Dont really give a shit but would hate to drop one again that leaves people steaming.

NEGATRON

I was just about say I’ve never deleted a comment of yours, but I checked your history and yeah I deleted one for the first time yesterday on the Bristol Scale story. The Lay off the percocets one… must have been a misplaced finger as I don’t remember reading it nor was there anything wrong with it. Sorry!

Chief Hot stuff

Lay off the Percocets

NEGATRON

Well maybe just if already drunk.

SSD

No worries! Shit happens

Jordy's pout

I see what you did there!

NEGATRON

Hey hey! Welcome back CB!! I was starting to worry you might’ve been sulking. Did you file for divorce or take the cheaper option and just take her out for dinner?

Hippy

Abuse of powers. Lets limit freedom so that everyone is happy.

NEGATRON

He asked to be banned, I delivered.

Hippy

So much power.

NEGATRON

Oh yes, on previous incarnations on other sites I was the most outspoken when it came to mods. Not favourable either. It’s a fine line.

channelbottom

Speaking of which, I read an interesting article re: Trumpites.
They tend to be people who psychologically need semi-abusive authoritarian figures.

channelbottom

I think I enjoyed the down-time. Thanks.

No divorce or dinner dates.

No surfing neither, due to an annoying, but not nasty, medical thing.

Got some resin the other day so am gonna get tore intae that board soon and make it worse mo betta.

Phat-wan kerr

swimmers ear? tap arse? crotch rot? good to see you back in the thick off it. I hope you go all out and glass in a giant penis fish.

Chief Hot stuff

A wink helps me sleep.

Chief Hot stuff

If it’s a free chapter of Chas and Mohomods bogus journey then yippee.

Chas Smith

You’ll buy it and you’ll like it.

Chief Hot stuff

That’s what Hitler said about his book.

Chas Smith

You did and you did.

Chief Hot stuff

I did.

Phat-wan kerr

a real conversation starter as coffee table book?

Chief Hot stuff

It was.
TRUMP
The art of the deal has taken it’s place.

Greg Shark

He has a book? Quotes for the left inclined?

@surfads

The only team you won’t be cut from.

abs(ə)nt

“Surfers who drive many cars and fly many planes hate Norwegians who make their oil.” Ouchy-wahwah!

Wades Beard

We dont hate the Norwegians who make our oil, we hate the Norwegians who make our oil in our backyard..they can go fark themselves.

Otto

R.E.M. sleep is all about the winks and blinks. It’s funny how the deepest sleep is defined by spastic neurological eye twitching.

Jen See

Oh. Huh. This is super technical. Shit. Well, I’m not sleeping because I am too excited about the Beachgrit surprise thing!!

Greg Shark

I get that same twitching when snaked. Then I begin muttering and talking and the waters clears around me

Mr. Dingin

That Harry/Yoko picture is the best thing I’ve seen this month.

Phat-wan kerr

put it on a VAL-life t-shirt

Dogsnuts

Beachgrit regenerative foreskins? I’m in!

The Bitchy Crab

I think unnecessary for at least one of the principals here at BeachGrit.

Chief Hot stuff

You check before hiring.
Very woke.

pubes

Righto Dez, I’ll ask – who owns the anteater?

Otto

If a Beach Grit principal’s anonymous Disqus “handle” is any indication, I’d guess Jazzy P.

Craven Morehead

🙋🏼‍♂️

Dogsnuts

Pretty insensitive of you to brag when I’ve suffered genital mutilation.

Chas Smith

Oh that’s what I meant. See you in Nicaragua!

Karl Myers

Thank goodness Chas! Between all the ridiculous shark headlines (I don’t read any articles with the word “shark” in it) and the you-must-x-out-5-times video pop up’s Beachgrit has actually started to veer into the depressive…

Chas Smith

Being a prophet is harsh business, I’ve realized, but between you and I… I’ve scared more people off surfing in the last six months than anyone in history. Those stories have been read tens of millions of times. Tens of millions of VALs forever off it. You had to suffer, sure, but you should click on them to simply to watch the VAL wave goodbye. This is the evolution of Gotcha’s brilliant “If you don’t surf… don’t start.” But the evolution that actually works.

Chief Hot stuff

They may also stop reading because of you.

Chas Smith

They haven’t so far! And you’re also welcome.

Chief Hot stuff

De nada.
Happy to help the battlers

?uzzled

If you have to splain it…

Chas Smith

That’s the only way it works…. I mean, I shouldn’t splain. But… but… it’s genius!

SoCalGary

Chas, I am sure the volume of readers is high, but are you using the WSL tracking tools to measure and report your analytics stated above?

Lemon Next to the Pie

It’s a shame the evolution wasn’t televised.

Chas Smith

10%?

Audit In Progress

I was actually planning this before the 10%.

Chas Smith

I think the promo code I shared is actually better than 10%!

Audit In Progress

My furious clicks through past BeachGrit articles will surely result in a windfall for you guys!


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