Not woke.
Surfers, by which I mean you and me, travel via airplane more than our non-surfing peers. We fly to Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Indonesia, Mexico, South Africa, Australia’s Gold Coast, Australia’s west coast, Reunion Island and Hawaii. Oh we see all manner of things when we fly, many of them disturbing, like open-mouth sleeping, headphone-less movie watching, clapping vigorously upon landing and bare feet.
Now, we surfers, we know that not all bare feet are the same. There are, to name a few:
White businessman bare feet… pale white and wrinkled as if they were just in warm water. Toenails not nice.
Chinese businessman bare feet… usually uniform in color with better toenails but worse overall vibes.
Young adult traveling around Europe (male and female)… peak disgusting.
Hawaiians or various other Pacific Islanders… the very pictures of health. Brown, hearty, a symbol of national pride.
Hawaiians or various other Pacific Islanders wear slippahs and only slippahs. Toes, spread wide by lack of constraint, like happy turtles sunbathing, cannot even go inside shoes anymore.
Well, our non-surfing peers unaccustomed to such things lump all bare feet on airplanes together and then “passenger shame” with modern gusto. This unfortunate bigotedness even made it in to the august pages of The Wall Street Journal and let us read together.
THE CLIP IS CHILLING. Stephen King couldn’t have crafted a more skin-tingling scene. I am talking about the recent viral video of an airline passenger using their bare big toe to swipe across their personal TV screen. In the clip, which was posted by Twitter user Erik Olvera on January 1, the sockless flier toe-scrolls through the movie options with a disturbing level of ease.
I almost, almost, admire how little this passenger seems to care about her exposed tootsies. But should I be so surprised by this sockless wonder? Not at all, according to Shawn Kathleen, the former flight attendant behind the over one-million-follower Instagram account, @PassengerShaming. (She goes by her first name to maintain partial anonymity). The account is a catalog of ludicrous on-plane behaviors, as witnessed and submitted by fellow travelers and flight attendants. Recently, Shawn Kathleen has received a high volume of foot-related footage.
But how did we get to the point where bare hooves are the norm in the sky? “There’s a really strong sense of entitlement where people are like, ‘Hey I paid X amount of money for this plane ticket so I can treat this aircraft as I wish,’” she said in a phone interview. And it doesn’t stop at simply brandishing a bare foot. Passengers now throw their feet up on tray tables, inside the seat-back pocket and even on someone else’s seat.
That’s precisely what happened to A.J. Henning, 38, a teacher in Santa Barbara, Calif. On a recent flight to Hawaii, a seatmate “thought it was cool to take her shoes off and then put her bare feet” on his young son’s seat. He said something to the woman, who eventually removed her feet. “The lack of thinking of others was what got me,” said Mr. Henning.
In all sincerity, Mr. Henning should have been honored by the actions of the Hawaiian woman who graced her young son with those badges of virility. He should have thanked her, not shamed her and it’s our duty, as surfers, to pave the way for acceptance since we have culturally appropriated their Pastime of Kings. The very least we can do, really.
Unless, that is, the aforementioned seatmate was not Hawaiian at all but a young adult traveling around Europe by way of Hawaii.
Profoundly disturbing in that case.
While we’re together, what is your least favorite thing to see on an airplane?
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I fly barefoot all the time. It’s almost never a problem or issue with anyone, and that’s the way it should be.
The thing is, whenever you’re out in public, you’re always going to see something or somebody doing something you don’t like, or doing something they probably shouldn’t be doing, or something you wouldn’t do yourself. But trying to control others or making a big issue out of something that’s truly none of your business – like secretly taking someone’s picture and posting it online for “shaming” purposes – really says more about you than them. It sends the message of your own inadequacies and shortcomings manifested by your lack of respect and acceptance of others who may be different from you or have made different choices from yours.
I wrote a blog article recently about the absurdity of this whole “shaming” phenomenon that’s been splashed across the internet in the last few years, entitled “Hate sites promote shaming of barefoot
airline passengers.”
You can see it here: https://borntolivebarefoot….
Go to BarefootIsLegal.org and be you.
Seats get smaller -> passengers get more uncomfortable -> surfer not comfortable wearing shoes in the first place -> self control out the proverbial window.
Please do keep the plane windows closed unless your feet are really gnarly then it’s OK to… Why are your feet so gnarly??? Houston, we have a new problem.
I’m a scuba diver, my travels take me to warm destinations. I also love going barefoot. If I had my way I wouldn’t even own any shoes. I’ve flown barefoot many times, but my feet are nicely pedicured & I keep them on the floor during the flight.
One of my travel pet peeves is a big fat guy spilling out of his seat & into mine.
Wow, you do have really nice feet, Meghan.
Least fav atm?
Chinese person coughing with a dust mask on.
Letting the puppies breathe is a fine line. Unfortunately a good portion of people who whip them out quickly cross that line with such fan favorites as digging under their nails with a knife like Frank Reynolds or clipping their thick bedsheet-rippers.
I like clapping when they land. I flew through Denmark this Xmas, and the dude landed so smoothly, in some very stiff side winds, I went up front on the way out, and let them know how stoked I was on the landing, it was that rad!
My buddy sleeps with his eyes open and is a heavy sleeper. It’s always funny to look back and see the person next to him completely confused about what’s happening. Just staring off into space when the person told him they need to go to the bathroom.
Aer Lingus flight where a dude was horizontally retching….
My least favourite airline experience was watching a older lady who was clearly in a bit of distress snaked by some muppet to get to the toilet. The woman stood there sweating then shit herself at the door of the toilet unable to hold it in. The smell was horrible but I felt equally embarrassed for the poor woman and wanted to throttle the asshole who thought it was funny to cut her off. The staff did their best to help out and clean up the mess. Bless them. The passengers were dry retching etc
It was definitely the walk of shame back to her seat with excrement still dribbling down into her shoes. But respect for all present as they didn’t make the lady feel any worse than she already did.
The toilet snaker got his desserts as well.
I would have put him to sleep then broke his legs and delt with the jail time. Probably would have made the lady feel worse making a seen. Good on ya for keeping it cool.
That was a shitty story.
Planes are now like buses with wings.
If it’s under 500 miles, I road trip, every single time.
When I was a kid, people were on their best behavior when flying, it was a fun, almost magical experience for a kid.
Then you remember the smoking section on airplanes. My mom used to try to have us sit in the front of the plane so we wouldn’t be close to the back, where everybody was chainsmoking nonstop to deal with the boredom or flying jitters.
I hate old people screwing their nose up at mothers with babies. For fucks sake, we were all babies once. Maybe help out instead of being a total cunt.
Ha! Try flying Emirates or Etihad. There the people complaining the loudest about poorly behaved children are the parents blaming the maid for not keeping their children under control.
And the only time I’ve ever seen a passenger refused alcohol was on a Etihad flight where a Arabic guy was going nuts about it. Pretty funny.
Yehee, we were sll babies once, but our parents didn’t fly with us! They had better manners.
My parents were just too poor to fly with their kids, but if they had the money they would not have given a shit what the other passengers thought.
The pro surfing season cannot begin soon enough. Chas, shamelessly intent on practicing his writing craft, seems to be running out of subjects on which to write. What’s next, articles on navel-lint analysis?
If lines like “happy turtles sunbathing” don’t warm the cockles of your heart, I fear this site is not anti-depressive enough.
The cockles of my heart are sufficiently warm, thank you. I come here for the latest shark news (and the occasional surf-related article).
Me. I’m ever the worst thing on flights. Well once I was. On a return trip back from Bali, my ticket was opportunistically swiped from atop my luggage while exiting the taxi. This led to a merry chase from terminal to the closest police station and back and a fair amount of hither and thithering. All to no avail, when it became obvious that the local ground staff were either not able, or willing to assist, I bought a 1-way ticket* over the counter on credit card at the very last possible minute.
This led to a wonderful chase scene going through the old (pre-air-conditioned) Ngurah Rai Airport. An employee was stationed in line of sight at every turning point through the airport waving to me to get through the next obstacle. Immigration, customs, etc.. The conclusion of which was a rush to the 747 on the tarmac of about 300m through the afternoon humidity.
Imagine the look of joy on the face of the attractive, similar age to me, female passenger assigned to be my seat buddy in the business class top deck of the 747 bubble. To be fair, the sight of a 6’7″ tall, long-haired, salt-encrusted, sweat-drenched, board short and (possibly) cheap ‘Bintang’ t-shirt wearing git may not have been the seat buddy she was hoping for. I was probably wearing thongs/flip flops too.
I remember the look on her face and that not a single word was spoke between us on the 6 hour flight home. That flying in business class was pretty nice and upon taxiing out onto the runway a group of Bali dogs gallivanting about on the tarmac leading me to think that they would get sucked into the jets as we accelarated and I would die in a flaming heap, despite my best efforts to get home.
*Thinking it would get reimbursed by travel insurance. It wasn’t…
6’7″?
I vote Lemon is tallest commenter!
I can attest to the fact that Lemon is fucking gigantic.
You joined the Mile Sigh Club.
I flew business in the bubble once,
Free upgrade.
26 hour flight.
Sydney to half way to Auckland then back to Sydney to be greeted by cops on a deserted area of airport, watching a guy being led away.
Then back to Auckland and on to Argentina.
I also had about 20 mgs of valium and a lotta booze.
Had to run to make my connection to Brasil.
Just made it and then the plane did a milk run
Buenos Aires to Porto allegre to Curitiba to San paulo.
Luggage a no show.
Wore girlfriends brothers clothes for 2 weeks
Swiped your ticket?
Why didn’t you go down to your original seat and get the guy arrested?
I think it was pre-9/11, so checking names against passports wasn’t a thing.I’m not really sure if they could have used it for anything other than immediately contacting the airline (QANTAS) and asking for a refund maybe?
As comfortable as the new airport is i really miss the old (pre-air-conditioned) Ngurah Rai Airport. As soon as the door of the aircraft opened, that waft of heat and Bali sensory overload, Magnificent.
I self-identify as shameless but sometimes I identify as Hawaiian on air flights just to see how the other half live.