Unprovoked: Sensational San Francisco 49ers running back Raheem Mostert’s wife survivor of vicious “multiple-bite shark attack” in Florida!

3 bites, 30 minutes.

And you are certainly well aware, by now, that the breakout star of this year’s National Football League postseason, San Francisco running back Raheem Mostert was/is a surfer and was once offered a sponsorship by Billabong to surfer professionally. He turned the offer down in order to pursue his football dream though does celebrate touchdowns by “paddling” in the end zone before popping to his feet and “surfing.”

Oh our surf world is very much like Christian rock ‘n’ roll. Any mention, any wink from “mainstream culture” our way is met with swoons, with much pride and a swelling of self-worth. We matter, we really matter.

Well, The San Francisco Chronicle, getting in on the fun, traveled to Mostert’s childhood home of New Smyrna to interview his “surfing pals” about these exciting days. Lo and behold his surfing pals are Eric and Evan Geiselman with special appearance by Billabong’s own Evan Slater and let’s dip straight in together.

Evan was friends with Mostert in middle school.

“We had P.E. together and he was miles above everyone in terms of athleticism,” Geiselman said. “He was a freak of nature.”

After eighth grade, Evan was home-schooled so that he could pursue his sport. But he still kept in touch with Mostert and surfed with him.

“I learned a lot of my skills from them,” Mostert said.

He and Evan are both goofy footed (meaning they ride with their right feet forward on the board).

“He just kind of had a knack for it,” Geiselman said of Mostert’s surfing. “I love how he celebrates his touchdowns.”

“New Smyrna is a hotbed for East Coast surfing talent and Raheem was one of a handful of local kids with real potential,” said Evan Slater, Billabong’s vice president of global marketing. “Even then, Raheem was clearly a gifted athlete who would likely achieve an elite level in whatever path he chose.”

And while the Geiselmans and Evan Slater are the absolute best representatives of this surfing life, the scariest reveal in the Chronicle piece was that Mostert’s then-girlfriend, now wife, is the survivor of a multiple bite shark attack and let’s read that together too.

When Mostert took his future wife Devon to New Smyrna for the first time, on spring break from college, he said she was bitten three times by sharks in the space of about 30 minutes. The sharks in the area, hammerheads and tigers, are relatively small.

“Not like the Great Whites here,” Mostert said.

He doesn’t surf anymore, and not because of the sharks. The activity is forbidden by his NFL contract.

“But I still like to go to the ocean,” he said.

Three bites in 30 minutes?

Whoa.

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Eddie Aikau Invitational forecaster on latest North Shore monster swell: “Did we blow it by not calling on the contest? Because this is a legitimate set!”

The answer is "Yes."

Of course you have been paying attention and of course you know. Oahu’s North Shore, home to Turtle Bay, Pupukea Grill, Off da Wall and Waimea Bay which is, in turn, home to the Eddie Aikau Invitational brought to you by… I don’t think Quiksilver anymore… has been experiencing a run of climate change induced swell so grand, so large, that 50 people were in need of rescue there just yesterday.

50 whole people and pandemonium. Chaos. Disaster. But also perfect for the Eddie Aikau Invitational brought to you by…. Yeti coolers? I truly can’t remember. In any case, the last time the even ran was in 1911 when Duke Kahanamoku outlasted Bryan Adams for bragging rights and a brand new

Could it have run yesterday?

Should it have?

Let us turn Hawaii’s local KHON news for more.

One of the Eddie Aikau Big Wave Invitational surfers and forecasters for the event was out at Waimea Saturday morning.

“Surprisingly a few 20-footers came through and it almost worried me because I’m one of the Eddie forecasters and I was kind of thinking while I was out there like ‘Did we blow it by not calling on the contest? Because this is a legitimate set,” said surfer Chris Owens.

He said Saturday’s surf models weren’t showing the right seas versus period for them to “confidently call on the contest.”

“The contest has really stepped up on the criteria, ever since Greg Long won it in 2009, and we want it to be 20-25 feet which is like between 40 foot and 50 foot waves faces and we always want the Eddie to be a memorable day, a day you look back and go ‘Wow it was huge that day,’” Owens said.

“Waimea is the best arena in the world for a big wave event and the Eddie is the greatest show on earth when it happens,” he said.

So…. what. Have the contest forecasters carved out their very enviable jobs, will “test” every swell, seeing if it’s good enough and deem it unworthy?

True surfers the lot of them.

See you when the Eddie runs next in 3467.

And by “see you” mean from heaven where I will have unobstructed views as long as extra-portly Ashton Goggans is not sitting in front of me.

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Two-time Champ Gabriel Medina and Zeke Lau lead surfer tributes to NBA God Kobe Bryant (1978-2020)

"You have inspired me to be the best athlete I can be."

In the gloomy mountains above Calabasas in LA’s San Fernando Valley this morning, NBA god Kobe Bryant, his kid and three others were killed when his $13-million helicopter crashed around ten am.

Kobe was one of the greatest NBA players of all time, eighteen-times All Star, five championships, although his career stalled, ever so briefly, in 2003, when he was accused of rape, a case settled out of court etc.

Surfers including Gabriel Medina, Zeke Lau, Jadson Andre as well as the WSL have posted tributes to Bryant.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7y68PFJcdO/

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7zDzQBHDmi/

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7zCYephviC/

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7y_l-WnOlC/

Superstar athletes killed in their own birds ain’t nothing new.

Rally car champ Col McRae and his kids died when his chopper went down in 2007; Daytona 500 champ  Davey Allison died when his three-week-old bird ate it while parking in 1993.

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Question: What lineup punishment should be meted out to future users of the just-developed “electronic surf fin?”

This internet meeting is adjourned.

We surfers, we real surfers, were all asleep that decade or two ago when Laird Hamilton swept his way into the suspect hearts of those dreaming of an “alternative” to wave riding. Before we knew it there was one then three then eight stand-up paddleboarders milling about the lineup, stroking into waves, sending their canoes rolling through our skulls.

Asleep or shellshocked but no excuses. We should have called an internet meeting and decided what punishment the SUP deserved and likely punished them out of the lineup or at least corralled them in Manhattan Beach.

In any case, let’s not make the same mistake again. Let’s call an internet meeting to order and decide how deal with future users of the just-developed electronic surf fin (handicapped folk excluded).

Certainly you’ve seen it by now, advertised in Surfer magazine, raising $250,000 on KickStarter, on Mashable.

“Catch all the waves… no more upper body strength needed etc.”

So what should we do when we see our first?

How shall we react, strongly, as one and shame every non-handicapped user away or at least to Manhattan Beach?

Ideas?

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"People say..."
"People say..."

Peak North Shore: Troublingly overweight Ashton Goggans tells Yago Dora: “There were a few of those bottom turns where you were looking like Gerry Lopez!”

Mr. Plate Lunch.

If there is one thing your BeachGrit does better than anyone ever, besides stirring shark hysteria, it is kicking a story to absolute death. Writing and writing and writing and writing and writing and writing and writing about every little angle, nuance, dull detail because…. why not?

Well, Red Bull’s latest Unfiltered, Unbiased, Behind-the-Scenes… something of the Pipeline Masters approaches genius.

Derek Rielly lovingly covered here but must have been distracted because there is absolute gold, perfect shiny gold, in those 22 minutes.

Jon Pyzel quoting The Surfer’s Journal while saying, “I didn’t finish the article…”

Strider Woz.

But my favorite moment, so far, is when an honest-to-goodness 100 lbs above slapping weight and new brilliant face of professional surfing Ashton Goggans sits down next to Yago Dora and says through beard and weight, “There were a few of those bottom turns where you were looking like Gerry Lopez.”

Watch here.

The “people were saying…” bit excluded like it should be/is mentally in all “people are saying” occurrences.

Peak North Shore.

And I challenge you to find your favorite moment in the clip.

Watch from start to finish.

You will not be disappointed.

Also, I have been re-watching America’s Top Model from the inaugural season on and have re-remembered how dangerous weight issues are and how they must be called out publicly.

It’s pure love. And deep care.

Serious worry.

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