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Breaking: After latest online audit, BeachGrit four times the size of entire World Surf League!

It hurts to be pretty.

And who would have ever thunk? Who could have ever thunk? It’s a modern miracle, maybe. The wave of the future where The People™, via their democratic socialism, shortened to BeachGrit, not only overtake The Establishment™, lengthened to World Surf League, but smash it into near extinction?

Altogether extinction?

It is both literally and figuratively true.

You, all of you, each and every one of you, make up over four times the audience of Erik Logan’s* World Surf League.

Your beachgrit in all-american blue. World surf league in tanking yellow.
Your Beachgrit In All-American Blue. World Surf League In Tanking Yellow.

I would love to have fiddled with these numbers. Would love to be savvy enough but am not.

It’s the glorious truth.

Me, you, we pound the Dirk Ziff’s World Surf League unless they’re offering up a next level Pipeline extravaganza.

The People™ win.

Who could have ever thunk?

Who would have?

*Feat. Kelly Slater.

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59 Comments
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rwvbwl

Yea!
Great News for B/G’s other writers!
Surely Chas + Derek are gonna give ’em, ya know, ‘LongTom’, Jen See, ‘Surf Ads’, that dude from Scotland,
allll a big raise for each word they think of + write, err type, right? Just think, Beach Grit payz a living wage..

Stocked for ya side~liners,
hope that B/G shares thee wealth!

Wayne Lunch

Making Beach Grit Great AGAIN!

Stephen

That graph is the best thing I’ve seen all week. And I (unfortunately) look at a shitload of graphs.

channelbottom

I kept fooling myself til early forties with a slightly longer than buzzed crop round the sides. I should just gone full buzz and be done with it.

Blunted Sultan

BG is on fucking fire today!!! Black tie gala lolz

Phat-wan kerr

the only thing rattling around beach grit hq would be ice cubes or empty vodka bottles

Phat-wan kerr

was the surf ranch event in September? not a very flattering graph if it was.

Firelipe Torpedo

It’s amazing what one can accomplish with clickbait shark articles. Look out pornhub here comes beachgrit.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Yeah, it doesn’t take much of a budget to copy and paste other websites shark articles. But the paragraphs composed by Chas and D before and after the quoted shark articles are quite entertaining. And it is very impressive how much content is produced by these 2 guys (and one girl Jen) on a daily basis. And with a shoestring budget, unlike WSL with Dirk Ziffs unlimited pockets.
This is truly the product produced by, and for… THE PEOPLE!!!

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Your hair is immaculate. Nice.

channelbottom

I haven’t had that much hair since I was like… 27.

channelbottom

No. I don’t.
This is my social life now.

And yes, the shotgun is probably a more apt metaphor than a sniper rifle for my output.

Don’t be That Guy for realz. Take the doohickey off your trigger mechanism. Smile.

Jordy's pout

A perfect opportunity to reintroduce the the Bristol Scale:

Type 1: The comments are infrequent and painful. Neither quality nor quantity are present.
Type 2: Large and lumpy. Quite hard to process. Unsatisfying.
Type 3: These have a great x-factor, in entertaining bursts. [I’d put you in this category CB – only a fool would call Hurluley and other long-standing jokes and visuals a “shotgun approach”]
Type 4: Smooth silky prose, every day like clockwork.
Type 5: Quite a lot of little bits and pieces trickling through all the time, but easy to process and mostly unoffensive.
Type 6: Frequently sullies a lot of otherwise enjoyable threads. High-volume, low quality.
Type 7: Bex

Chief Hot stuff

You diklexic bru?
You’ve got your fours and sevens mixed up

Jordy's pout

I was going to make a whole description about far-right trolling, unrelenting climate change denialism, making everything unwantedly politcal etc, but I was running out of time so I just used shorthand.

Chief Hot stuff

Typical lazy leftie.

channelbottom

My dearest sir,
Never before in the history of human endeavour has any man been so delighted as I, to be favourably compared to excrement.

Jordy's pout

I wonder at point “requires less water than a golf course” became the benchmark for responsible development.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

The Death Star required less energy and water than a golf course.

Lemon Next to the Pie

All the water on the Death Star was recycled. Except for the sludgy stuff at the bottom of garbage chutes.

channelbottom

Is there a qualification for this usage? Like ‘over the lifetime of the development’?

What’s the evaporation loss in such an environment?

The mind truly fucking boggles how they can justify either this or golf courses generally (outside geographic locations where the land naturally kinda looks like that ie: Scotland)

Jordy's pout

That’s quite a cynical view on golf courses. Where else is all the back-slapping, psycophanting, white-collar-criming and sleazy-deal-brokering supposed to happen?

channelbottom

In a sauna / baths?

Look, if it was good enough for the Romans then it’s jolly well good enough for the lizards we have now.

Jordy's pout

BLOOD FUED!!

John Wayne

The real question though is are you able to monetise your numbers better than the WSL?

channelbottom

If the WSL put BG and the comments board in charge of the QS / CT broadcast & content for a couple of years, they could monetise their fuck out of it. You’d have more eyes than bandwidth.

John Wayne

And I think there in lies a lot of the problem – the WSL have failed to attract any eyes over the off season. Not unlike a lot of sports. Elo has failed on that one.

Chief Hot stuff

Tickets,!!

Lemon Next to the Pie

To be fair, it’s hard to compete with being funded by a billionaire trying to get more than occasional shag from a trophy wife by investing in her new favourite sport.

channelbottom

You got something better to do?

Beef & Beer

Hhmmm
It’s false stats though
Half the time when I’m on here and try to go to comments or swap stories, the whole thing drops out so I have to start the process again.
So instead of just going into your site once, I have to do it about 4 or more times which falsely skews the stats sorry Charlie.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

And for sure doesn’t correlate with the WCT off season.

Otto

Enough budget for a frenzied afternoon at the arcade playing Whack-A-Mole.

astro

Good find !
This is what I’d thought they’d do all along.
Exclusive, members only.
The beautiful people kissing each other’s arse.
Guess they’ll need to hire a few minimum wage BG types to park their cars, serve in the restaurant and such.

frank

you have a couch ? … you have a headquarters??? sweet!


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