SURFERS, OUT OF THE WATER!
The human mind cannot fathom what occurs within the firing synapses of Great White sharks. We can make guesses, hypothesize, but are constantly caught off guard by the movements and purposes of the apex predators. By where they go and why they go.
Just hours ago a diabolically large female named Unama’ki (Land of Fog and Eaten Men in an indigenous Nova Scotian tongue) “pinged” within 100 miles of northwest Florida, coming dangerously near the shore and let us turn to the scientific journal Daily News for the absolute latest:
The shark, known as Unama’ki, is one of the largest and was tagged at 15 feet, 5 in. long by research nonprofit OCEARCH, which tracks this info “to help scientists collect previously unattainable data in the ocean” and hopes to “accelerate the ocean’s return to balance and abundance,” according to its website.
Researchers are looking to learn more about the breeding habits of great whites — also known as white sharks.
“As a big mature female, Unama’ki has the potential to lead us to the site where she gives birth and exposes a new white shark nursery,” OCEARCH said, according to USA Today.
Adult great white sharks can “grow to a maximum size of approximately 20 feet in length, weigh up to 6,600 pounds, and are estimated to live for 30 years,” according to the nonprofit ocean conservation group, Oceana.
Oh even the thought of a Great White shark nursery sends shivers up my spine. I imagine it would look like The Omen. Or The Conjuring. Or any horror movie where possessed little kids come to torment their parents.
Also, it is very suspicious that Unama’ki decided to get closer to shore today, as it was just revealed Florida is near passing a law that allows full frontal nudity at its nude beaches.
Could the “man-eating” beast be looking for some delicate, unwrapped appetizers?
Very possible. Terrifying.
More as the story develops and no surfing in Florida until the alarms turn off.
No nude sunbathing either unless gender transition surgery is on the horizon.
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Don’t worry, whitey will be arrested the minute they come near any of the ‘private’ beaches.
I just read OffRockers comeback story.
If fear of a shark keeps me out of the water..then shame on me.
Yes, there you go! Clearly this shark is intent on a sausage sizzle.
These stories are getting into my head! The spotter chopper circle lapped the beach yesterday and it was overcast.. I hate it when the chopper circles back a few times over a particular spot. It was unwelcome and I started sketching out!
beachFXgrit
Don’t they grow a lot of avocados in Florida?
Are they oblivious to the true danger?
you seem to be at war with avocados CB
Chas mentioned their danger a couple days ago. I am merely helping to highlight the issue.
I love me an Alligator Pear, but am prepared to eat lots of them, especially as guacamole, if that’s what it takes to keep the public safe.
No, no. Please, don’t thank me.
I’m merely doing my duty as a concerned citizen.
Per-ston-ally, I’m disappointed that Chas did not seem to appreciate my photographic work yesterday, seeing as as it was who flagged the issue:
Buy here:
https://beachgrit.com/2020/…
Mexican cartels are getting into the lucrative avocado trade. Especially the armed Viagras cartel who’ve got a real hard on for the green gold.
https://www.google.com/amp/…
Its really all about awareness.
As long as the avocados’ lawyers don’t get wind of this.
God forbid we start associating them with other ingredients like cilantro, tomato, salt and lime juice (lululimejuice).
California is where you the Avos are…
Strange. Considering all them faggoty hollywood lefty gummit interferances in personal liberty and industrial pollution rights and stuff!
Youd think theyd ban’em?!?!!??!
Don’t worry, I have packed an avocado sanga for lunch today and my son had another on toast for brekky – we were clinical, no misshaps, no trips to emergency. If we all do our part we’ll be fine.
You are the hero we need and want.
Unama’ki sounds like a development in the world of sushi.
There’s more enveloping than developing going on here Chas.
Just don’t envelope yourself in yoga wear. Someone will sue you.
God will protect the Hobgoods from Unama’ki, I’m sure of it…