Foul play suggested.
The world has now come all the way off the rails. Over 1/3 of these United States of America officially shut down. Bondi Beach put under lock and key. Europe abandoned. Lonely days and dark, for many, filled with anxieties and dread. The present unrecognizable. The future unclear.
Making matters worse, for surfers everywhere, is the greatest to ever do it, our hero and north star Kelly Slater, has gone entirely missing during The Great Coronavirus Kerfuffle of ’20.
Vanished as if into thin air.
The 11 x World Champion was last seen three days ago in New Zealand, there in preparation of the Piha Pro and let’s go there, to Auckland’s 1 News for possible clues as to his whereabouts.
Imagine heading down to your break and getting a front row seat to the greatest ever surfer carving it up on your waves.
Well that’s just what happened for some Northland surfers with Kelly Slater.
Slater was supposed to be competing at the Piha Pro this week before it was cancelled.
In a settlement of fewer than a 1000 people, word was always going to spread quickly about Slater around Pataua, east of Whangārei.
“Some people told us, ‘Are you going to go and see Kelly?’ and I didn’t know what they were talking about,” one local said.
“I looked really close, and I kind of had a bit of a shock,” another told 1 NEWS.
“Got off the bus, came over and Slater was in the water,” a disbelieving local said.
Wonderful and happy. The sort of joy our Number 1 brings with him everywhere he goes but then… silence.
His usually robust Instagram account has been dark since Feb. 21, the last image very cryptic.
What does that mean?
Back to New Zealand, though, were the small-town locals so thrilled, too thrilled, and in a Deliverance moment, or maybe Misery-like, did they lock the champion up, refusing to let him leave?
Is he there, right now, dancing for Patauans and Whangāreians?
Why isn’t he singing us songs to make us feel better like other celebrities who cherish The People™ and imagine life with no heaven or hell on our behalf?
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We are in this together, we will get through it together. Let’s imagine together. Sing with us ❤ All love to you, from me and my dear friends. #WeAreOne ……. #KristenWiig #JamieDornan @labrinth @james_marsden @sarahkatesilverman @eddiebenjamin @jimmyfallon @natalieportman @zoeisabellakravitz @siamusic @reallyndacarter @amyadams @leslieodomjr @pascalispunk @chrisodowd @hotpatooties #WillFerrell @markruffalo @norahjones @ashleybenson @kaiagerber @caradelevingne @anniemumolo @princesstagramslam
Kelly? If you need help we are here.