"What kind of undesirable human being are you?"
BeachGrit was torn asunder over the weekend as the world’s greatest surfer’s Kelly Slater’s fans rounded on the surf-lite tabloid mostly famous for a snarky wit that went out of fashion in 2015.
Or not famous at all, as pointed out by @perifreal. “Ummm. This is confusing. Who the fuck is beach grit? I know Slater, cause hes… Iconic.”
The rage grew out of an article titled WATCH: WORLD’S GREATEST SURFER KELLY SLATER DEALT HARSH PUNISHMENT FOR BLOCKING BEACHGRIT ON INSTAGRAM, HAS BOARD SNAPPED AND IS PUBLICLY SHAMED IN AUSTRALIA! and detailed how Slater had his board snapped on a big day just north Carroll-ville there near Sydney’s northern beaches likely because he blocked BeachGrit on Instagram.
The 11 x World Champion’s legion of supporters did not like the premise and let their fury burn hot on Instagram. A sampling:
@_mattbuchanan_: “Beach grit talking down on a man that has 500x’s the amount of talent, accomplishments, and respect than the social media influencer of this account…… just stop.”
@therealsurfbum: “Beach grit is fucking kook shit.”
@kevomick: “I wonder what tomorrow will bring?! More satirical bull shit shark articles perhaps? Or more bull shit pro surfer gossip click bait? Fuckin hacks sucking the teet of pro surfing but bashing the GOAT of surfing. Go home your drunk.”
@milnesurf: “Best surfer that ever lived got a standard board breakage in big waves. nothing unusual. What legend for going out in that swell. You seriously sound like a spoilt little girl. Unfollowed- probably lost a lot of followers didn’t ya.”
@t_plass: “You guys trying to be a bigger dumpster fire than the Biden campaign?”
@ericsnemesis: “Unfollowing ………………… Now… fucking worms.”
@savage: “Wowwwwww if you think this is a good move calling out our goat you’re fucked.”
@jemalexwill: “You’re hanging shit on the greatest sportsman of all time when your page is absolute rubbish, you sound like a bunch of petulant children.”
@augustovillaran: “Mommy ! ; Slater unfollow me ! I am going to make fun of him while he is struggling so people will like me!!! Seriously @beach_grit ??? What kind of undesirable human being are you? This is a fucking IG account . Grow up !”
@Yeah you muppets just lost another follower .. not funny, not witty not anything at all really. 100% would Bet, whoever is behind the keyboard on this one would line up in a heartbeat to ask his autograph.
@drists: “Horrible article. Lost my time reading bullshit. He’s a legend of surf. While surfing we are dealing with uncontrolled condition… This can happen with anyone else. Please, read more books, study a bit more, then write interesting articles.”
If only surf journalism was as easy as reading more books, studying a bit more then writing interesting articles.
Well, duly shamed, and also pleased that “our goat” has such a robust personal brand.
Aren’t you?
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAjbyAQDG-e/
Wait, are some of these people actually taking Beach Grit seriously?
Is water wet?
anyone who places slater on a pedestal and uses their political affiliation as an attempted burn is not a surfer; that person is a dork. beware of dorks going nuts. It happened in 1939 and the outcome was pretty grim. I see it happening right now and unless we reign in these dorks, we’re all gonna suffer from their inability to get along with others.
I just come for the click bait ad with the girl in the bridesmaids dress with the massive tits.
Anyone else get that ad?
Surprised I made if this far down the page this time.
Chas, now that Kelly has bullied you off of Instagram there is always Tik Tok.
I agreed!
Please let’s talk, scientifically, about…
GREAT WHITES and their alliance with these damned notth koreans!
And his systematic dispatch to the Western Civilization to kill and devour our people!
You will rot in hell for this.
He was supposedly in lock down on the Goldie – Why don’t you just call him out for breaking the boarder rules and heading in to NSW – he was theoretically not allowed to do that. I wonder what his fans would think of him as a law breaking citizen / or being above the law?
Spinner was hijacked by the sex fiends
‘Your drunk.’
‘Spinner’ is the best…
Those “Kelly Fans” totally miss the point that God totally fucked on Slater in support of BG. Why are they attacking BG? They should be going hard on God.
Yeah god loves it hard and ruff
Global pandemic slats final year should be a sign.
Wonder what he’s got in store for him next time.
God has proven reasonably competent at avoiding blame for quite some time. I doubt this particular issue presented much of a problem for him
I’m not seeing too much splitting of the atom going on amongst those followers of the goat
He’s chosen the right horse in this race too, credit where it’s due.
Maybe Jebus wasn’t a good cunt?
Food for thought.
Worth a ponder, definitely endowed with bad karma or juju with all the evil the befell him.
Surprised none of the comments were from @benmarcusrules
Apparently his hero, Kelly Slater, performed a duck dive to air drop take off into the barrel at Cloud Break for all and sundry to see and enjoy in 1992.
Weak cunts…I gave Joey Johns a fkn spray at the casino on his 40th and he bought me a beer, now a fan.
Warney, massive GOAT.
cops it, loves it!!
Except for SW
He didn’t miss ol Steven,
the dour cunt.
Surfing world?
Once you lose the ability to laugh at yourself, you may have slightly more than one foot in the grave
Haha fuck he really must have got your goat. Thurston fan?
Haha yeah respect them both for different reasons I spose mate..
Tomorrow Elon “Take the Red Pill” Musk, in partnership with NASA, is launching the first privately funded manned space flight for an orbit mission.
What did Kelly ask the astronauts to take up to space for him? This is not a hypothetical, we all know damn well that Kelly wants to be an astronaut. Hell, he’s already a bit of a space cadet.
If you’re not upsetting people, what’s the point?
the tone of this article is a dark burgundy butthurt
Always gives me a kick when people mistake satire for real news. Still see it on The Onion, or Straya’s Betoota Advocate on the reg.
Also gives me a kick when people put ‘surf’ in their IG username because they surfed once on vacation and have a photo holding a rental surfboard.
I do that with The crumbled chips At the bottom of the bag, and salsa. And I use a spoon to eat it: efficient!
Dam it, my Beachgrit shirt just arrived in the mail yesterday…no way can I wear it in public now
Ohhhhhh fuck, tears of joy streaming down my face
Should I feel good, or bad, that this is the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me?
when I got mine, I was high for 2 days, in fact I’m on a high again just reliving it through you!
Until you realize who gave it to you.
Still, go ahead enjoy yself!
I don’t like dishing them out, but I remember the euphoria I felt from getting STAB’s “comment of the week”
Unfortunately I also worked out a lame easy formula to get my comments in the top 10.
Ugly, shallow, hollow reflection on just how lame humanity is… now that I’m a born again commentator I’ll wave and point my finger and say you should be ashamed of yourself.
I have ashamed covered
I got one on there once, a story about crime in Crescent Head and I said police put the crime down to all the recent cutbacks.
Was pretty funny at the time. Had to be there I guess
Oh how I miss the warm glow of a quick “featured comment” dopamine surge.
I think a bit of both. The highest of accolades, even in the slime riddled gutter, is still high praise – something about it is all relative.
Are you gonna wear your shirt out now??
I took it for a stroll in downtown Minnesota a few nights ago…the result was not great. Best put it away for a while
You’ll get bashed
just tie it ’round your neck, with thee logo showin’, hahaha
Dam it, my Beachgrit shift just arrived in the mail yesterday…no way can I wear it in public now
Hey @perifreal,
Give yourself an upper cut for that handle. And this is coming from someone named ricmatic.
And where the fuck is LGR? And Channnelll?
LGR reinvented himself.
It’s amusing that Bicko disappeared about the time he moved to the beach. Dude was DYING in Germany and posting more comments than everyone else combined. Now he doesn’t have the time of day and is probably scoring. Good on you Jamie Bicko.
Maybe those guys dissing beachgrit are his mates
I know the average Aussie prolly respects Ke11y, but do they defend him? I dunno bro. When Slater is surfing like your photo, dude is the king. With his phone… ?
The average aussie has changed a lot lately.
It’s confusing times for many.
Guys wanna be gay to fit in and girls pay docs megabucks to look ugly while maintaining its what’s inside that counts
agree here too… lots of 20’s creating odd answers for “what do you identify as”…. like create your own label. My crew that is maybe straight can’t even attempt to hit on my crew that are straight women who wonder why the boys are so mixed up.
I have an employee who considers herself “gender fluid”, but doesn’t like the term “bi”. Her brother “doesn’t want to commit himself to either lifestyle” I’m not kidding….
Used to take the team to dinner after long saturdays work, now I just tip them 20. each cause they are absolutely insufferable conversation. 30 year olds aren’t aggressive either, but they aren’t completely lost and can toss a few jokes.
The graduating Uni seniors are so fragile and the Hippy is not sensitive to that shit.
Oh well fuk it
The future is theirs
Good luck with the fuken windmills and moisturising face cream
agree. seemed like everything was simple and now overly complex just to be complex even though we are told everything is easier using tech.
i just gotta milk 10 more years surfing out of my body and learn to play golf.
Should I be be mad that they left? Or happy for them?
I have plenty of both.
LGR is still hiding round here… Bicko is out having fun. good on both counts, enjoy
Amen brother!!
Maybe you need to get rid of those pansy weirdos and go hire yourself some good old fashioned country boys to get your crew grounded again?
Where did he move to, Hip?
His comments were some of the wittiest on the site.
Almost wish that he would come back, but glad for him that he’s surfing again.