This ain't nothing to do with waves.
I really don’t know what we’ve done to deserve all the scorn heaped upon our bowed heads. Don’t know why the entire world has suddenly decided that we are not only vacuous, silly, generally worthless but should also be on the receiving end of discriminatory laws and hurtful discriminatory jokes.
But alas, here we are.
Standing in the public square, placard around necks reading “HERE STANDS A SUPER SPREADER OF THE NOVEL CORONAVIRUS AND AN UNMANLY MAN.”
Jen See stands next to us, not caring so much about the slur. Stab magazine stands off to the side, not having to wear a placard in exchange for busily printing them.
But where did this “unmanly man” business come from?
Well legendary football player Eric Dickerson of course and let us turn to his discussion over the Los Angeles Rams and their new uniform design.
Dickerson, who set the NFL single-season rushing record with 2,105 yards in 1984 for the Rams, had previously criticized the logo. Now he took aim at the uniforms.
Among his comments, he said the horns on the helmet look like “two bananas” and that the changes make the team look “soft.”
“This is football. This ain’t nothing to do with surfing. This ain’t nothing to do with waves. This is football. This is a man’s sport,” Dickerson said in the interview. “And to me, it just looks soft. It don’t look like football. It don’t look hard.”
All our heads are very bowed except for Jen See and Stab magazine where the writers keep their eyes up, alert, so as to tattle on any surfer behaving badly.