Local heavy resorts to old classic!
If you’d listened to our Dirty Water podcast with Lennox Head habitué Steve “Longtom” Shearer on Saturday, you would’ve been fed a lovely story of how locals there, once awesomely territorial, had become a shadow of their former fury.
The facts paint a diff story, however.
Kelly Slater, reportedly, forced to capitulate to big local and offer recompense after maybe fading a local kid; a public warning issued to “the people of QLD and the Byron Shire to stay away from his local until this virus-nightmare is over.”
(Note: order the most advanced surf mat ever made, here, for $US195.)
Now, it can be revealed, that police are investigating the smearing of human shit onto the door of a vehicle with Queensland license plates, telling one local shop owner they knew who committed the offence and were searching for witnesses.
(Interestingly, one prime suspect may be off the hook because he’s too short to get his asshole over the door handle.)
Lennox, of course, ain’t a town of snitches, so I suspect it’ll be a game of we know who, they know who, but cops come around and I got no clue.
Good luck to the brave police-people investigating.
“Maybe don’t park with Queensland or Byron rego,” said one local. “They closed the top carpark at the lookout because of COVID so it’s deep congestion at the bottom carpark and a shit-fight along the side of the road.”
Further, there are reports that Italian superpower Leo Fioravanti was one of twenty-seven surfers hit with thousand-dollar fines for driving from the Gold Coast and surrounds surf Lennox area.
Meanwhile, in Sawtell, a few hours south.
I love the Sawtell sign which was clearly erected by someone who moved there in 1995.
Hello from Pleasure Point, circa 1978 or so.
Some say it was Big Kevin what done it.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Depends on the community…here on the Surf Coast , the locals have been pathetic , and have been over run by blow ins!
Is shit smearing considered bioterrorism? I was a few postage stamps away from mailing a shit to a customer that stiffed me on a bill but was advised that it could be a federal offense, bioterrorism, etc.. by a lawyer friend
If you ride a finless board in barrelling conditions you deserve shit on your door hanle.
Inflation mats too.
And some exception to the rules included.
Bet that sign lasted all of 5 minutes
Has anyone here ridden a surf mat? What’s the go with em? Why wouldn’t u just ride a bodyboard? Does it have some wanky nostalgic back to basics theme attached?
Naa, just for guys who can’t stand on their own two feet, but are too embarrassed to carry a boogie board…
(they can deflate and carry these in their pocket in public)
I rode a slab on a lilo once when I was injured. Dunno if that’s the same. Skipped out a few times on the bottom turn like a possum in the headlights
Yeah they’re right up there with hand planes in the Fucken Useless Accessory dept
I am starting to take issue with cunts from small coastal areas who are all butt hurt when someone wants to visit their scenic area, but yet these fuckers will be the first cunts in their cars to travel to the nearest town to shop in the supermarket. Can’t have it both ways cunts!
Agree. They have a right to be annoyed and not tolerant of people that disrespect the place but to think no one should be able to visit is ridiculous
not sure you get what quarantine is and what for…….but it’s the only fucking thing that is working on the planet right now…..of course except for the USA , where Donald has said it’s going to get a lot more better , and the USA will be the greatest again, just follow him !!!!!
Haha, damn Brutus, you’ve got a one track mind m’guy! I know all about the goddam quarantine as Ive been doing it the past two months. Haven’t stepped on beach in a long time. My point is in general terms, it is legal to surf now and it had nothing to do with Trump. But if you have the inside scoop please share! I’m just a total fuckin moron that needs to be advised by a guy who makes toys outta foam.
Yeah boi!!!
yeah , that’s all I do one track mind ..follow and respect the law….
the best thing I have learnt today , is that if people are at your surf spot and shouldn’t be there , you can beat the fuck out of them, because they can’t go to the police..now ya fucken talking!!
Not sure if you own any those toys out of foam , or are you a booger or maybe a wavestorm kinda guy?
No, suggesting anyone with a different opinion than yours about covid is a dimwit Trumperdoodle with their heads up their asses. Not everyone going broke and concerned with living in a police state for months while the data shows a very low statistical chance of getting or dying from it fits into your neat little compartment.
Unless you are staying at home and not leaving for anything, including surfing, you are just as much of a covid spreader as anyone else.
As for buying boards, like any addict, Ive spent more dough on foam toys than I would ever want to contemplate. Mostly from local shapers.
perhaps that’s the way you read my posts , that I don’t listen to other peoples opinions , but a lot I comment on is just right wing misinformation , and also some looney left misinformation.
I spend 3 hrs every morning , and hour at lunch and then 3 hrs every nite catching up on the Global pandemic , and especially the USA…./Fox/CNBC/AlJazeera/Bloomberg etc….then I check out all the online news sites /graphs……cross checking claims and counter claims..
I am addicted to live unscripted human drama , and currently the USA is in the midst of a Health/Economic/Climate crisis…..
From outside the Goldfish bowl , the USA is the only country that is reopening while ( if you take out NY’s stats) infections and deaths are still increasing nationally if you check Georgias stats today , you can see a rise in infections and deaths since opening up again…..
So it looks like Trump and some states are just going for the herd mentality , as money / jobs are more important than lives..
Personally I have surfed 4 times in 6 weeks…..have quarantined myself from my kids and grand kids , have sanitizer in every part of my life…but still am shaping as I have a private workshop…am even embarassed that business is booming…..
So as I watch from the outside it’s hard not to try and yell at everyone , FFS, this shit is only beginning , the worst is yet to come…is the USA ready for 500000 deaths?
It’s good you take the time to stay informed on all this. Strange and scary times indeed!
About to doze off here. FTR, just fucken with ya, I respect and admire what true craftsman shapers like yourself are. Have a good one, Brutus and stay safe!
Nice theory, but you’re assuming they won’t just pay the fine to fuck you over.
And for anybody looking to follow Brutus advice – violence is never the answer and you’re still bound by the normal laws concerning assault.
we all like to think violence is never the answer , but how do you control 100 guys in the lineup where there are no written rules?
yeah but as you know you have to have witness’s for an assault charge , and there is always the possibility that other witness’s saw him throw the first punch , so self defense,Always!
This will make you laugh https://www.youtube.com/wat…
absolutely brilliant , sums up the last 5 mths and the USA’s failure on the Corona Virus , which leads to the USA showing us their very broken political/economic / health system, and that’s a fact!
maybe we get pissed off seeing people breaking the law and showing little or no respect for quarantine ……bring the virus with them…we have had 10 infections here in Torquay , and where the fuck did it come from?
My point is a general one. Here you are only supposed to travel 5km (up from 2km last week). I live in a town, not allowed to travel to the coast, yet all these coastal and rural dwellers can travel into the town to shop in the supermarkets, even though they could get by buying (albeit at higher costs) in small shops locally. So they are happy to travel themselves into the larger towns to save themselves some money, but get outraged that persons from outside their areas dare visit their locality. As for Torquay, I can’t recall if there are supermarkets there, or do people travel to Geelong for shopping? Do people travel from Lorne to go to the supermarkets on Torquay? Should they be allowed? As I said, you can’t have it both ways!
Every surf spot will be different…it’s bizarre here…you are not allowed to fish/hunt or play golf , but can surf…..we have 5 super markets in Torquay actually the who……..the crowd have nearly doubled here since the lockdown, but those Urban Surf warriors are here en masse!
You think it’s just from some blow in? Is Torquay completely self sufficient with absolutely nothing being transported in? Fuel, food, etc? Fully self contained hermetically sealed fuckin biodome breached by cunt outsiders stealing waves and coughing their Trumpvirus all over?
nah but on a good day here now , every carpark on the coast is full , 120-30 guys at Winki , 100 guys at Bells….and they do not come from here!
Well now that sounds farkd and understand where you’re coming from. Why aren’t they closing it off to outsiders?
It’s so fucken weird to see the most crowded surf we have ever seen…I think because we have such a big local population now , none of us can tell who actually lives here , and we have very little support from the police…….that’s why I can’t surf anymore……or try and pick the marginal days …called shit surf!
That must be painful considering your history with the place. Must have some mind boggling stories! We’re beyond that point here and getting more crowded every year it seems. The stories from my folks or grandparents that grew up in SD about how it used to be are amazing. I’m the same way with surf anymore, Id rather go out in less than ideal spots or conditions than deal with hordes of people. The weird thing about SD is sometimes the stars align and you can score some fun surf for an hour or two by yourself. Very rare of course!
They’re all working from their second home’s on the coast. They can’t air bnb them so may as well live there.
When everyone goes back to working in offices it might change.
nah we have busted so many crew coming from Phillip Island, East Coast Melbourne and Geelong……if it doesn’t go back , we now have a doubling of our Surf population on this coast!
fucking fuck yeah. NYC is not heard island.
Well I guess it was only a matter of time, before this whole covid conversation went to shit
I actually called for shit stories several days ago…whilst glad to see the directional shift…a little credit would have been nice
Pretty sure shit man is in big trouble…if they can track covid via our bodily waste, I am pretty sure there is nothing they don’t know about us. Did the cops bag a sample…I bet they did
Finally…Sawtell sign is not covid related…been there for years.
Are you suggesting they will DNA test the turd and all the townsfolk to get to the bottom of this foul affair ?
Shit is the new fingerprint my friend
Been happening for years
Pretty sure 5g has something to do with it…but haven’t got to the bottom of it yet. I will keep you posted
Haha something else that can be falsely blamed on 5g
Unless the culprit was having an explosive day, they would have had to weigh up coverage against self-smearing against symbolic effect.
If they wanted to shit directly on the door (max symbolic effect) they would have to take significant residue on the cheeks if they also wanted a substantial smear.
They could sacrifice their symbolism by dropping a turd at a secondary location and smearing indirectly. That would also keep cheeks clean. But if clean cheeks and symbolic effect were the goals then it’s unlikely they’d have managed a decent smear.
A more experienced car-shitter would have targeted the windscreen.
Ass Ventura, Fecal Detective!
It’s sound logic to let the too-short prime suspect off the hook. He clearly couldn’t have done anything high-tech like, for example, standing on something.
Could’ve been a stilt walker or a contractor with ladders in his truck
Dear Beach grit suggestion box.
Call people out
That’s what surfing needs.
We want names!! (just not ours)
Names ?
I thought we just wanted laughs…
its funnier with names
Whoever made that sign is a chop. No issues with localism or with what they are trying to do to keep others out during covid… But what cunt wrote that as he moved in 1995? Name and shame
Who is the “local heavy” from Lennox who’s spawn Kelly upset??
But who is watching the detectives?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Oh shit, Ive only got $150 on me. can i get the second best surf mat?
PS what happened in ’96?
Hydro.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
what a record
Hard to top that one
Haha, I did my quarantine. Even got the interesting swab voluntarily. It’s great here, no outbreak yet and lots of waves, and this is how we plan to keep it. It’s really interesting having returned from Hawaii and practicing utmost respect to a fault and then seeing entitled goons all over the shop here. Bring back the biff! Nah, but bring back respect though.
I hope Leo gets fined a thousand and then Aus throws the cunt out for disregarding the law.
Same as his soi boi mate in Portugal.
Fuck them and don’t come back. Persona non grata.
If you met them I bet you’d be nice.
I’ll take that bet, bexy.
Anything ya want.
I’ll win. They’re spoiled cunts (full fucken stop)
I’m honestly surprised that over the years of sponsorship that some of the brands haven’t reined in some these dickheads.
Their actions reflect on the brands. So they have a duty of care if they want to get paid.
To put it in surferese, “Wanna get paid ? Don’t be a cunt and hurt your sponsor.”
What they do to u?
I guess you’ve never pulled a cone.
Mr citizen!
Not in the mood for wankery.
They piss me off big time.
Just happens I got Leo with me now, he just lobbed inta town.
Hang on I’ll put him on.
Heya da astro
Getta da fuked
Ya do goodinga cunta
Dorkus.
Hahahar. Tell him he’s a cunt.
Hey Leo
He reckons you’re a good cunt.
BG – is anti depressive !