Dooma Fahrenfort stands weeping on the beach.
Now, I am fairly certain that South Africa’s
most popular professional surfer, Jordy Smith, is not currently
quarantining in his homeland but rather in Hawaii though he must be
waking up this morning, light trades buffeting his veranda, with a
heavy case of FOMO.
Fear of missing out on some of the best surf his country has to
offer with only Michael February and Grant “Twiggy” Baker in the
lineup.
Damien Fahrenfort on the sand trying to convince the authorities
that his Wikipedia is
wrong. That he is not, in fact, a “South African
businessperson” but rather a professional surfer.
For the brave nation is set to reopen its beaches, its waves,
with one major caveat.
Only professional surfers are allowed to enjoy.
And let us head, forthwith, to The North Coast
Courier for more on this scientifically-sound turn of
events.
“Only professional surfers will be allowed back into the
water from Monday – but the question of social surfing at a later
stage under lockdown is still up for debate.
While sports minister Nathi Methethwa appeared clear at a
media briefing today that only professional sportspeople may resume
training – and non-contact sports may hold matches – there would
appear to be some wiggle room ahead over the “complex issue” of
surfing.
Responding to media questions, Sports, Arts and Culture
department director general, Vusumusi Mkhize hinted that surfing
was still up for discussion with surfing associations.
“This issue of surfing, and water and the virus has been one
of the very complex discussions based on scientific versions. There
is a version of this virus thriving in cold environments and
therefore then being a risk, that people, if they are a group
swimming together and if it is a swimming games, there is a
risk.
“But there are those who are saying that chlorine attacks
and destroys the virus.
“On the other hand, the issue of surfing, because it is in
open water, those are the issues we need to discuss for surfing,”
said Mkhize, suggesting that they would liaise with the country’s
surfing body, Surfing South Africa.
Oh Kim Prather, what
a tangled web you wove but, quickly, what do you think
counts as “professional surfer” in South Africa?
Would I, as a professional surf journalist qualify?
Would you, as a one-time local boardriders’ club under-45 third
place finisher?
Imagine, just me, you, Michael February and Grant “Twiggy” Baker
trading waves at perfect J-Bay. Jordy Smith crying in Hawaii, Dooma
Fahrenfort denouncing business on the beach.
A dream we can make reality.
Flights from LAX – Cape Town are sitting at $1000.
