The root of lasciviousness.
And the hits just keep coming for men and women who belong to the increasingly degraded “white” race. Body blows as each new day brings with it sordid, ugly details of historical, and modern, crimes committed by those who descend from Europe.
Microaggressions, melding the narratives of majority and underrepresented groups, inhibiting perspective-taking, forcing stereotypes that cluster into especially prevalent myths like the one that holds surfing, an ancient Peruvian dance, was revived by benevolent Caucasoids after going extinct on the Hawaiian islands.
Well, according to new research that narrative is simply not true.
The old theories held that missionaries coming to Hawaii in the early 1800s declared surfing an unhealthy pastime, the “root of lasciviousness” due its time-wasting, mingling of the sexes etc. and “stamped it out” by 1847.
Hiram Bingham declared that it, like all other heathen sports on the islands, had “disappeared. Nathaniel B. Emerson Lake and Palmer backed up that account in 1892, stating that it was impossible to find a surfboard on the island.
Uncovered histories, though, from British travel writer Samuel Hill show that surfing was being practiced on the Big Island in the 1850s and even on Waikiki as late as 1891. Likewise, those prancing the naughty jig shared it with others. James Apu of Kauai, for instance, traveled to San Francisco in 1893 and put on surfing exhibitions for slack-jawed locals.
So there we have it. Surfing was never crushed only to be brought back to life by progressive whites. It was, rather, practiced continuously by Hawaiians and stolen by us.
By the end of the decade, I fear it will be revealed that the only things white people actually made were Cheez Whiz and Salty Crew.
Maybe pre-paid credit cards too.
Sad.
I’m a tough guy in real life too. I’ll fucking ruin you. I don’t care if you disagree with me, but you constantly throw the personal insults, and that shit wouldn’t fly in person. Plain and simple. Keep it cordial and I won’t promise violence.
Now you’re just lying to feel better about yourself acting like such a twat.
If you click onto his Disqus account and sroll down at the top of page you have the option of blocking him
That’s just a fact. The fact you’d get your teeth knocked in.
Just try ignoring me. But you can’t. You’re always compelled to respond. Thats on you.
You get triggered by every post of mine. Stop being so emotionally invested in me ya fucking stalker.
You know nothing about me. And only in this place can you call me a bitch and not get your teeth knocked in.
My triggering skills are getting a lot better these days. This is fun.
Who f cares!? I’ll wrap my “clear”(no color) leash around your f neck, and then you can go on about racism.
Prepaid credit card haha. Like jacking off into a condom to throw the contents on to your significant others back at a later date.
very creative Dogsnuts…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Jane’s kicks ass… What a fucking find!!!! FUck yeah Friday NIGHT!!!!!
Eric, pre cartooned Dave, Stephen fucking perkins….. FCuk yes. Bass line is so fucking sick, than you C k.
EMerson Lake and Palmer… man I worked hard for so long to forget that music.
My buddy in high school would put that on his 8 track and I would cringe all the way to school. Same tape for 2 years commuting.
Ancient Egypt was a multiethnic Caste based society.
Carl Linnaeus’s “Systema naturae”, published in 1735 is where the concept of “Race” was first put forth as a means of Scientific classification of different human groups from around the world.
Linnaeus is the father of the taxonomic system.. Kingdom, Class. Order, Genus, Species etc.
Chas–is that picture for the lede how you envision you and Derek in Bizarro BG world?
Russell and JOB have the same mid section….
USA’s greatest gift to Hawaii https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
What about Spam and Costco?!?!
You’re right. I love getting a case of Spam at Costco
I thought that was Eddie Rothman.
True. Eddie is the gift that keeps on giving … cracks.
European people invented the idea of Race and the moronic dichotomy of “white and black” that has fractured humanity in to factions that are really nothing but mental constructs.
This is just another example of the divisiveness that is meant to disrupt a peaceful society
Aren’t European’s the ones who go on sex vacations….. ???….
Pretty sure whitey’s invented capitalism. Adam Smith probably stole the concept from the gypsies, which would be ironic.
Pretty sure they got rid of the other “heathen sports” with circumcision.
Reached out to the Top 5 and select other surf celebrities for comment on white people’s contributions, implied to mean their contribution to surfing, but left vague to see them squirm:
Italo: ahhh, I’m really stoker-ed to be surfing. Thank you WSL. I thank God.
Gabe: *Looks at the interviewer and keeps walking*
Jordan: (The only one understanding the question was about in surfing) Eh, bru, I’m not touching that… I mean, all the Aussie khaki boys made the Tour, so I guess there’s that…
Filipe: Ehhhhyaa, you know, that is a really good question, I think, you know, of something like good writers, like Chronicles of Narnia, about my peop… *whistling comes from three cars down* um, I’m a surfer. (Pointing to the water) Just go surfing.
K-Hole: The United States of America! We invented democracy and saved the world! *Interviewer mentions slavery*… well, they sold them to us, so, well… No one can complain. We are the greatest!…. (thinking the camera is off) yeah, I’m heading out now to check the surf before I start my shift at noon… yes, I work at Coastal Chrysler Dodge Jeep RAM, why do you ask?
Kelly: Well, Julius Caesar, for one. I mean, he invented the Caesar Salad Dressing and the C-Section, which don’t do that. Natural births only! Haha also, Benjamin Franklin, creator of electricity and a major pervert. Very choice. Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. Total G’s…. btw, this is getting out of hand. And I can’t be racist, I have a disabled Chinese girlfriend! I am not sexually confused!
Micktory: (not knowing he’s being recorded yet) Pogroms… *messes with stuff, thinking he’s still preparing, not realizing his “hot mic” moment* Where were we?
Pottz: Wwwwwwwoooooooowwwwwwaaaa, that’s a pretty gnahhly question… *waits for a minute* you’re absolutely right, Joe…
CJ and Damien: Like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like…
Your access to the pros never ceases to amaze.
They really trust you.
That’s because he is neither friend nor foe. KVF is nothing but faithful to the Sainted Surf Journalist credo of ‘Truth and Honesty’.