Photo courtesy Sea Otter Savvy.
Photo courtesy Sea Otter Savvy.

Cute n cuddly sea otter caught trying to eat face off shark: “It was as if hell had opened up and spat forth a creature even more wicked than anything Tolkien could imagine!”

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to my American brothers, sister Jen See, and I hope everyone is looking forward to a fine meal of turkey, stuffing, sweet taters, mashed taters, candied taters, ambrosia salad, string beans con bacon bits, rolls and pun’kin pie with loved ones you are not supposed to be seeing.

Very fun, though, let’s be honest. Thanksgiving food is terrible. Every bit of it. And we must blame the British because I don’t think our Native Americans would have been so cruel as to come up with ambrosia salad.

Thinking about the British, here, where do you put J.R.R. Tolkien on the list of great British authors?

Near the top?

Above or below Evelyn Waugh?

I used to not care for Tolkien but he has grown on me over the years, especially his depictions of evil (Orcs etc.) in the Lord the Rings trilogy.

Even Tolkien, though, could not have come up with a more horrific tableau than was witnessed in Morro Bay, California last week where a typically cute n cuddly sea otter attempted to eat the face off a shark.

Michael Harris, of the California department of fish and wildlife, told the website Win for Outdoors, “To my knowledge … this is the first documented horn shark capture by a sea otter. There are reports of sea otters capturing skates and rays, but this is the first report of a shark. Sea otters will feed on fish, but it’s a very rare observation in California.”

The not-for-profit Sea Otter Savvy added, “Not surprisingly, while some nibbling may have occurred, the prey was not consumed.”

I don’t why “not surprisingly” and I don’t know what’s worse for the shark. Having half its face eaten or all of it eaten.

At the end, would you rather have shark face for Thanksgiving or turkey?

I’m on the fence.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
66 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

Nice young lady too, and was really pretty before the permanent solution.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Chas the only true monsters , in the Lord of the Rings are humans ….. all they had to do was throw it in the volcano and be done with it …. but lust for power and greed was their downfall ….Took a fucking hero , Midget Gardener and hobbit Samwise Gangee to save the humans from themselves.

The Greatest Living Author in English …. Salman Rushdie ….. Midnights Children is a fucking masterpiece and thoroughly deserved the Booker of Bookers .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

“The Picture of Dorian Gray”meets “ A Ring of Bright Water “

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Only in your dreams my hairy Prince.

c4
c4
5 years ago

The history of European discovery in California, pre gold rush is incredible.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

You in a smoothie or in your whisky kinda guy?

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Considering Dez’s persistence in pursuing the EJC story, would the term ‘Horn Shark’ possibly become a suitable nom de plume?

Smartyfarty
Smartyfarty
5 years ago

He was born in South Africa… Why do the English always claim the shiny things they like from their colonialism exploits but don’t owe up to the distruction they’ve caused in so many countries? The history of the English make the holocaust look like a walk in the park.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  Smartyfarty

Cause they’re all dead?

Smartyfarty
Smartyfarty
5 years ago

No…. They also claim the ones that are still alive ..the arrogance

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  Smartyfarty

You can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs

Smartyfarty
Smartyfarty
5 years ago

England is more like a mud pie.

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Smartyfarty

The sun never sets on the oppression, indentured servants, forced opiate addiction, colonization, abuse of indigenous people, etc. Happy Thanksgiving.

Smartyfarty
Smartyfarty
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Yeah mate… Absolute cunts

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Every day must be a struggle carrying around that weight?

c4
c4
5 years ago

Not guilty of my ancestors crimes. They came to America on the Mayflower.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

What a relief.
Sleep well oh saintly one.

c4
c4
5 years ago

At least I’ve come to terms with the reality of being a foreign immigrant to a land that was inhabited ten thousand years before me. All these dot com billionaire shitheads that live near me have no idea and do not care one bit about the history of this area. I do. Kalohole Andino probably has no idea why the name of his town is Spanish.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Probly cause the Spaniards were more familiar with an arid climate

c4
c4
5 years ago

The euros looked at a map of America and decided to set up the first colony at the same latitude as Portugal which had mild winters. They didn’t know enough about weather to know that there would be snow and freezing cold weather at the same latitude over here.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Dumb fuckers had no idea about the gift of the Gulf Stream to Western Europe .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Let’s hope he says at ,least a prayer , to Saint Clement , if he makes it to the final at Trestles

c4
c4
5 years ago

They probably took a caliper and measured your great grandfathers skull or the distance between his eyes in England and categorized him as an undesirable and sent him to Australia. The beginning of eugenics.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

No, but his grandson came in the sixties.
Thought he’d give the joint a bit of class

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

“I’ll bite your face cunt.” Alf on Doodle Burgers Home and Away haha.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

That shit was amazing. Will watch again

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

I’m in! haha.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago
channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Is ‘shark face’ a surfing-adjacent social media pouting style, meant to have a slimming effect on the model?

A la ‘duck face’?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

A million toothy Shark influencers can’t be wrong CB.
This chick at my work seems to think she has a bit of an influence on the gram and had some lip stuff done recently. Not a subtle amount either. Now she sucks her lips ALL the time. It’s the oddest thing.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

It’s sad to see narcissism in the wild like that.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
5 years ago

When you look over and see her sucking her lips, does it make you visualize anything?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

Yes it does. But not what you’re thinking. It makes her look somewhat mental challenged.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

WTF is ambrosia salad?

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

what the fuck is salad?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

You don’t win friends with it. Homer taught us all that!

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

It’s the bastard love child of Sal Masekela and Surfads.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Enjoy the thanksgiving, Seppos.
We gave you this.

c4
c4
5 years ago

Could be living in a goat shit hut in Somalia, so much much to be thankful for. Dumb luck where you are born. You won the lottery also.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

I’m glad you call it luck and not white privelege.
I see I’m having an effect on you.

c4
c4
5 years ago

Bex you are the filthiest of organisms that inhabit the planet, and I’m drinking IPA’s because it’s a holiday. You don’t need to be scared that the Democrats will bulldoze the suburbs and build low rent high rise units full of over sexed blacks that want to have sex with white women. It’s OK don’t worry.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Bit harsh
Not worried

peter zedaK
peter zedaK
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

You have it exactly right. Tex Vagina is so worried that he feels put upon. How dare anyone harsh his vibe.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  peter zedaK

Clever, but the misogyny lingers

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

According to un-named sources, the otter had been on Nicolas Cage film binge while on a self-imposed lockdown. Inspiration arrived after watching the film ‘Face/Off’.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Have you seen the Egyptian remake?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

It Sphinx.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Fez/Off

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

looks more like a loving embrace than a face chewing, but in all fairness, its been a while since I engaged in either activity.

Preston
Preston
5 years ago

After driven to near extinction, looks like the cuddly little sea otter toughened the fuck up.

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Preston

They’re heading down to Newport again, attacking anybody that resembles an over coached London style kid. So-Cal is in trouble.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  Preston

Probably high on meth … hanging out near an outfall

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

After watching the first half hour of the first Lord of the Rings movie I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t my kinda thing.
Similar with Brideshead Revisited on TV.
Guess I’m not part of either Tolkien or Waugh’s target audience.
Each to their own though, maybe Derek likes them…

Freddie
Freddie
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Fast forward until Liv Tyler appears

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Freddie

RIDE HARD

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

When it comes to British television series it doesn’t get much better than “Absolutely Fabulous”

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

That show was absolutely fuked, apart from Mike from The Young Ones
https://youtu.be/Wpfe3as5mo4

c4
c4
5 years ago

Forgot about the Young Ones. Haha. I was sharing a house with three Irish skinhead punk rockers and a fifteen foot reticulated python at the time. We moved into an all black neighborhood in the city, put on helmets and sat in shopping carts careening down a steep hill out front. Nobody messed with us after that. I was living that show.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Vivian is a girls name anyway.
is the “p” silent Rick?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Keeping Up Appearances with a nice tea and biscuits. Fantastic.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Father Ted? Black Books?

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

Appropriate article for the turd I dropped whilst reading it.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Me too!
Oh. Not like that.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Benjamin Franklin believed the turkey to be “a bird of courage” that “would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on.”

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

Sharkface sounds like a villain in a BeachGrit comic book

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Shark face is the new Scar Face …..drawing interesting lines


66
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x