"Kelly’s pool better be underground or covered. Not
to mention, a filter system will be required to keep the water
liquid or else he’ll be mixing cement."
Thoughts about the new Slater pool in La
Quinta.
I’ve designed three weddings on the golf course and incurred the
same challenge each day, wind.
Horrific wind hugging the curvature of the mountains and
funneling through a green belt that manages a very occasional rain
storm.
End result is dust for miles, sand storms.
I built a ceremony arch for one gig and purposely installed it
behind the reception tent. Two thoughts, some wind protection and
to give the poor photog some back light.
We had to borrow stakes from the lighting company. I sent a kid
to Home Depot for some high tensil strength cord. We tied the arch
off at 4 stations and I disappeared behind the hotel to cut Trumpet
vine to run along the cord.
Next trip, we rented a huge gazebo.
Thought fuck this, something so heavy nothing could blow it
down. Concentrated decor on the aisle and base legs of the monster.
Was hanging the chandelier in the middle when a gust hit, my
twelve-foot ladder fell under me and I clung to the chandelier
mechanics while my boys sorted the ladder.
Following trip, I sold NO CEREMONY DECOR. We scheduled the
chairs into theatre in the round and called it a day. As fate
allows, no wind that particular day so we made a circle of rose
petals for the actual ceremony space. Yeah, they curdled in the
sun, but the Hippy knows a trick or two about a half and half mix
of silk petals.
Point being, Kelly’s pool better be underground or covered. Not
to mention, a filter system will be required to keep the water
liquid or else he’ll be mixing cement.
I’m not sure why all pools are not in a warehouse or
underground. Manage nature as best as you are faking it.
If I’m paying for Kelly’s ranch it better be fucking glassy. As
glassy as that same money will buy me a two-week charter in the
Ments.
I really think the only way to keep evaporation at a minimum and
run without wind issues is by covering the pool. Especially Palm
Springs because for five months it’s too hot to be outside
anyway.
I could make oodles of money out there, restaurants are sublime,
but fuck, it’s like Las Vegas, three days is plenty.
What is beautiful about the desert day one are the same things
you find ugly day three.
I just need three dinner reservations and a fat paycheck to make
me happy driving back to the beach.
(Editor’s note: The author is actually an event
designer not a wedding planner. Fitted the headline better. “It’s a
huge distinction of competence from the wedding planners I loathe,”
he says. Second, Hippy’s from Santa Babs. Again, makes for a
better headline, Palm Springs Wedding Planner etc.)
