Li'l wimps.
Li'l wimps.

Surfers unexpectedly benefit from effects of climate change once again as new study reveals warmer ocean waters making baby sharks “smaller, undernourished and exhausted!”

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo...

BeachGrit, as you well know, is an anti-depressive place where lemons are magically turned into lemonade daily. Soul quenching. Take, for example, the specter of zero surf contests from now until next year at this time. We already know how to craft entire narratives around the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater that need neither heats nor heat strategy.

Or the horrible nightmare of climate change displacing vast populations, destroying sensitive environments, really being lame. Except here, for us surfers, climate change is making our surf bigger and better and now, as just revealed, making our number one enemy weaker.

New researcher out of Australia examining the effects of warming temperatures on the growth, development and physiology of the Great Barrier Reef’s epaulette sharks found that in warmer waters, shark embryos grew faster and used their yolk sac — their only source of food in this developmental stage — quicker. The man-eaters hatched earlier, were born smaller, and needed to feed straight away, but lacked energy to bite toes, legs, etc.

Jodie Rummer, co-author and associate professor at the ARC Centre of Excellence for Coral Reef Studies, released the following statement regarding the study: “The epaulette shark is known for its resilience to change, even to ocean acidification,” So, if this species can’t cope with warming waters then how will other, less tolerant species fare?”

“The study presents a worrying future given that sharks are already threatened,” lead author Carolyn Wheeler said in another statement, continuing, “Sharks are important predators that keep ocean ecosystems healthy. Without predators, whole ecosystems can collapse, which is why we need to keep studying and protecting these creatures.”

Here’s to the world’s most environmentally damaging person for not only keeping us entertained in these difficult times, but keeping us safe.

Über anti-depressive.

Neymar Jnr writes, "Brother, without much bla bla bla ... the photos speak for themselves 🤣🤣🤣 I LOVE YOU". Gabriel responds, "I love you brother! We are very happy 🤷🏻‍♂️❤️🤣 we are together even under water!"

Brazilian news outlets speculate wildly on world surfing champion Gabriel Medina and soccer superstar Neymar Jr’s close friendship: “It’s not normal to see two men like this!”

“Football and surfing stars are seen together whenever a gap in their professional careers is possible…”

In one of the lovelier rumours to circle world sport, Brazilian news outlets are speculating that the relationship between two of Brazil’s favourite athletes, the two-time world champion Gabriel Medina and soccer great Neymar Jr, has blossomed into something more substantial.

Various outlets, including and the country’s version of Time, Istoé, say the pair are spending every available minute together and at least one is claiming that both are using models to cover their true feelings.

From Midiario:

The famous Brazilian soccer player Neymar returns with a new controversy and what he has put on his Instagram is a series of photos from which he has been very affectionate with another man.

With the name “abrazado y empiernado” appears with another futbolista Gabriel Medina.

In the show program, “Chisme No Like”, the journalists Javier Ceriani and Elisa Beristain, said that Medina has a romance with the model Jazmín Brunette, something that supposedly would be to cover her sexuality as well as Neymar with Natalia Barulic , Maluma’s ex (his romance was never confirmed).

Communicators say that they have maintained a friendship since childhood, but it is not “normal” to see that of men here.

Istoé headlined their story, Neymar celebrates Gabriel Medina’s birthday with photo carousel on the networks and declares: ‘I love you’”, Football and surfing stars are seen together whenever a gap in their professional careers is possible.

In October, time24 reported that thirty-two-year-old model Yasmin Brunet had “declared” herself to Medina and noted that the pair had been together since April and had spent quarantine together.

“Thank you for being you, so beautiful outside and inside. Only those who are lucky enough to live with you know how wonderful you are!” Thank you for taking such good care of me, what a gift. Only you to give me so many incredible and unique moments,” the model wrote on Instagram.

Four days ago, Gabriel, who is twenty-seven, posted a photograph of he and Yasmin locked in embrace, his haunted aristocratic face radiant with visceral passion as he located the palm of his right hand beneath the main extensor muscle of Brunet’s hip.

“You’re the one,” he declared.

In 2019, Brazil’s president, Jair Bolsonaro, told the country’s leading biz magazine Exame, “If you want to come here and have sex with a woman, go for your life. But we can’t let this place become known as a gay tourism paradise. Brazil can’t be a country of the gay world, of gay tourism. We have families.”

In the same year, there was a “furore” when Medina and Neymar Jnr, who is twenty-eight, appeared in a video supporting the president. 

“I hope God uses Bolsonaro to help our nation and that the will of God is carried out,” said Neymar.

Love rules, I think, and rarely fails to win.

Listen: “World Surf League attempts to broadcast beautiful rainbow of diversity, ends up with most whitewashed program in filmographic history!”

A vigorous shade of tan-adjacent.

Days ago, our World Surf League unveiled its brand new web series Getting Heated hosted by Mick Fanning and Ross Williams wherein those two “most opinionated personalities in the sport” engage in “the hottest debate.” I had been hearing about the concept for months now from various industry sources. It was supposed to be a version of ESPN’s First Take featuring Stephen A. Smith, Max Kellerman and Molly Qerim Rose, a beautiful rainbow of diversity, but somehow ended up Mick and Ross.

Now ponder hard. Has there every been a more whitewashed couple in filmographic history? Strap down that thinking cap. Director Leni Riefenstahl came close in the 1930s but fell short of Getting Heated’s monotone consistency. Possibly David Crane’s NBC hit Friends but, again, lacking the same exact vigorous shade of tan-adjacent.

A wonderful metaphor for the WSL, I think. Aiming for something, pulling the bowstring back, letting the arrow fly and missing the mark so robustly as to be considered performance art.

David Lee and I discussed Getting Heated today along with Popeye’s famous chicken sandwiches, pretzel buns, skiing, Ariel Pink and Bells Beach.

Feel free to listen to it now or later.

Surfer screams “I hate Kelly Slater” after being arrested at popular Los Angeles beach following explosive incident in water!

This is America.

A surfer has been arrested this afternoon following an argument after a drop-in and a foot chase by police.

The man, filmed here being restrained by police, was surfing El Porto, a popular beach close to the guts of LA and right next to the dirty old Chevron Oil Refinery.

Acording to the filmer, @spunmonks, the man was burned on a wave by a “bald-headed guy. They both came in and got dressed in the parking lot and then he wanted to fight him saying ‘I HATE YOU KELLY SLATER!’ The bald guy ended up calling the cops and this video is at the end of a foot chase after the man kicked a cop car.”

The new, kinder strain of the LAPD is seen in the video as the cop on right attempts to calm the excited man with gentle shoulder rubs.

Fisheries catch "mammoth" Great White, second-biggest in the state's history, off popular Cottesole beach.

Perth swimmer hit by ten-foot bull shark six miles from the ocean; CPR on beach, man in ICU: “This thing came out of the deep and (he) called out ‘shark’. There was just blood everywhere, red water.”

The attack confirms, as if confirmation was necessary, Western Australia’s reputation as the shark attack capital of the world.

A Perth man was rushed to hospital yesterday with serious leg injuries after being hit by a suspected ten-foot bull shark in Perth’s Swan River, the first attack of its sort in fifty years.

The attack, at a deep-water part of the Swan River called Blackwall Reach, which is popular with cliff divers, has always had bit of a rep as being sharky, although no attacks.

The last fatal hit in the river was in 1923 and the last attack, a minor bite on a teenage sea scout, was in 1969.

Cameron Wrathall was swimming in fifteen-foot deep water with his buddy Richard O’Brien when O’Brien saw a large fin surface near his pal.

“This thing came out of the deep and Cameron called out ‘shark’. There was just blood everywhere, red water.” Mr O’Brien told Nine News Perth reporter Lucy McLeod.

Wrathall was bitten on the leg and thigh. The pair attempted to swim to shore and were helped by a couple of kayakers and a paddleboarder, the kayakers using a shirt as a tourniquet.

CPR was performed on the beach and the man is currently in ICU after surgery.

The attack confirms, as if confirmation was necessary, Western Australia’s reputation as the shark attack capital of the world.

Three weeks ago, the second-biggest Great White shark ever seen in Western Australia was caught and tagged just offshore a popular city beach. Surf Life Saving WA said thirty-one sharks had been spotted in that same week, closing eleven beaches and warned of an “abnormally high number of sharks.”

The “mammoth” Great White swimming so close to a popular beach, it said, was “not an isolated incident.”

It followed two fatal attacks by Great Whites in Esperance,diver Gary Johnson in January and surfer Andrew Sharpe in October.

In July, a surfer survived being hit by a “freakishly big” Great White at Bunker Bay, a few hours south of Perth.

And in November, bodyboarder Charles Cernobori was killed by a suspected bull or tiger shark at Cable Beach, Broome, in Western Australia’s north-west.

A recent poll of 1071 Perth beachgoers found three-quarters were too terrified to go more than thirty-feet from shore.