Virginia lawmakers consider banning wake surfing as lakeside homeowners grow furious over child abuse: “The waves take our grandkids and slam them into the dock!”

We got trouble...

And the golden age of surfing is officially over. History will record 2015-2021 as a jubilee wherein the Pastime of Kings grew legs and wandered inland, making new homes in cow towns, protected wetlands and deserts as wave making technologies exploded in viability. Also lakes where new boats, fitted with impressive cavities, could lower themselves into the water and create large breakers for which wake surfers can ride without rope or care.

Very cool.

Except, as stated, over.

Lakefront homeowners in Virginia have realized that surfing is a wayward lifestyle that leads to many societal problems including, but not limited to, child abuse.

Rhonnie Smith, a grandfather who was recently profiled in the Roanoke Times, is one such lakefront homeowner. His grandchildren used to love to play in the water just outside his house at Smith Mountain Lake until those dreaded wake surfers came to town. Now, when they pass, “large waves” slam into the shoreline and the dock. Once during this past summer, Smith said, his grandchildren were playing down in the water by the dock, and the waves threw the children into the dock.

“We pull the children out of the water any time a wakesurfing boat goes by and won’t let them back in until the boats have left the area.”

Other homeowners are equally furious and have lobbied the Virginia General Assembly to pass a law that will keep the bastards far away. Or at least 200 feet from the shoreline.

Del. Kathy Byron, R-Bedford, who represents lake residents, told the Assembly the legislation “Will keep people involved in water sports at Smith Mountain Lake and those who enjoy the lake at their docks safe, it will reduce the erosion of property and mitigate the destruction of property.”

Many chimed in with horror stories of damage done to homes and families. Thousands upon thousands of dollars spent. Children sent to the hospital and rehab.

No one testified to the committee in opposition to the bill.

Very smart for we, here, know that once surfing takes root it is nearly impossible to root out and will very soon rot the soul.

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BigassE
BigassE
5 years ago

Yea spread that around Virginia and not only will there be no wake surfers but grandpas real estate will hit the skids as well! Lol

Jeff
Jeff
5 years ago

As they say, it’s a free country to engage in activities that are way up there on the fun-things-that-will-really-bum-out-the-neighbors-and-have-a-large-environmental-impact scale.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

It’s disturbing/confusing to call an inland waterway, “fresh water”. I like how the Ocean’s churn up the poo, and chem’s.

Cam S
Cam S
5 years ago

Child abuse? Really?? Okay, the boats create big waves, but so do cabin cruisers. So does the wind if the lake is broad enough. Lots of factors affect swimming safety, but none of them intentionally target children.
Make rules for your lake if you want (200′ seems reasonable) but labelling wakeboarders and wake surfers “child abusers” and restricting the sport on any body of water, whether houses or not, is legislative over-reach. IMHO.

Dfcinla
Dfcinla
5 years ago
Reply to  Cam S

I think the only person to use the term child abuse was the author of this article.

Jordy's low key claim
Jordy's low key claim
5 years ago

coupla drops in a single malt works very well

East of the 5
East of the 5
5 years ago

Sometimes I think “maybe I’ll move far away from San Diego and live on a lake and just surf behind a boat.” Then I go to a lake and see this “surfing” and say fuck it I’ll just deal with the crazy cost of living and traffic.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago

HA! I can personally comment in this thread. I went to SML this past summer and had a blast. I had a big ol’ Tritoon (3 pontoons + bigger engine) and I was looking for those wake surfing boats so I could sling my tubing nieces and nephews into their HUGE wakes and make them fly off in a leap of tragic glory! I’ve got links somewhere on Youtube, I think.

ZZ Soft Top
ZZ Soft Top
5 years ago

These wakeboarders should go full 80s and start a gang called Waking Nightmare that dresses like the Lost Boys and terrorizes the frightened lakefront residents with wake sessions featuring loud rock-and-roll music, beer drinking, cursing and pre-marital sex.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  ZZ Soft Top

That’s already happening.. however, I was actually doing 1 part of that… I was pulling a tube with nieces/nephews at this Lake, trying to find the big wakes from the wake surf boats, blasting 80’s hair band rawk! I felt like a really cool Uncle! 😂🤣😂🤣

BigassE
BigassE
5 years ago
Reply to  ZZ Soft Top

Dude ur behind a little! We been doing that since May of 2010!

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

I’m horrified that these filthy ‘wake’ types are forcing children to engage in ‘docking’ against their will.
Living in a comminist state and the gays are preying on innicent kids inincently swimming in a lake away from the elite lib demons of the coast.
and what if its a litle girl?!?!?! they don’t even have a tenticles to do the docking? do they use a fake peni??!?!?

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

Freshwater actually freaks me out. Anyone else?

Ollybeak
Ollybeak
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

It’s gross. Guaranteed ear infection going into lakes.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago
Reply to  Ollybeak

Submerged sticks and shit, downright filthy and spooky.

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Only once when Wake Surfing (LOL) in the deepest spot in Lake Tahoe – over 1,600 feet deep of fresh deep blue water.

Anything over 30 feet should not really matter the depth as it all looks the same at that point.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Water skiing on Lake Tarawera. Learning to single ski. Dropped one ski and went alright for a fair bit, Sister was supposed to be observer while Dad drove. Both were looking for the dropped ski while I was falling off. Watching that boat move away and more or less out of sight was a truly guttural experience with one of my existential fears it turns out.

BigassE
BigassE
5 years ago

Where the hell were they looking for the ski at? Out front? It’s hard to believe they were look that direction for the ski yet still missed u falling! I wouldn’t get pulled by them again! Lol

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  BigassE

We had looped around. It was a big lake. But yeah, not impressed with the observing part of the deal…

RQ.
RQ.
5 years ago

water bogans.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

how often have you been at a lake and seen a little set up and thought,” if only there was swell here, this would be fun”. the old man should get his grand kids some body boards and tune them into JOB’s vlog.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Or check out Ben Gravy’s ferry wake surfing. That’s always fun long ride.

Jordy's low key claim
Jordy's low key claim
5 years ago

or a (wake)foil

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago

Now that surfing’s done I can finally get some shit done around here.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Please keep us apprised of your progress!

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Open some boxes, start a vlog

j7 Forall
j7 Forall
5 years ago

“Now is the time for unity.”

-President Obiden

Dirty New South
Dirty New South
5 years ago

As Virginia born and bred, I always know any head line from Va is going to have something stupid attached to it. Such proud and mostly(not all) ignorant people. Dangerous combo

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago

I, too, am VA born and bred (Virginia Beach) but I can’t agree with you 100%… maybe 99% 😂🤣

disqus_00d1gIXedO
disqus_00d1gIXedO
5 years ago

surfing’s given my rot the veneer of soul

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

So drunk frat boys from Virginia with $70,000 speed boards are the new rebellious face of surfing? Seems fitting

Barrelled
Barrelled
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Those boats are more like $250,000-$300,000

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Yeah I have no idea

astro
astro
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Now this comment is feature worthy !

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

They are actually rentable by the local marinas so I’m sure those marinas (Bridgewater Marina is the biggest in the area) are getting their fair share of local vitriol but making a TON of money of rentals! ha!

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
5 years ago

From the honorable Kathy’s website…”Higher taxes are intended to fund a larger, more intrusive government,” I find it odd that she is against an intrusive government but wants the government to intrude on boaters/surfers.

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
5 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Sounds like the foundation for the way everyone wants their government. People either want more of it or less of it, until the opposite suits their needs. Contradiction at it’s worst.

ZZ Soft Top
ZZ Soft Top
5 years ago
Reply to  SoCalGary

The free market works, until it works against you.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Wait ti; she finds out about the party of personal responsibility and abortion conundrum.

FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
5 years ago

They actually had to create a boat wake during one of the ECSC’s there some time back in order to create a surfable wave. Have to watch for unintended consequences – no boat wake, no riveting ECSC

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

That grandfather needs to toughin up his grandkids. Boat wakes are the best part about playing in a lake.

FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Most definitely. In fact any wave activity is the best part of playing anywhere imo.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago
Reply to  FL Skunk Ape

when we were kids we would stand beside the highway and wave at passing cars. sometimes they would wave back. good times.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Then there’s the cruel parents out there that asked you to wave goodbye to the beach as you left in the station wagon.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Grandad really should’ve made sure his kids didn’t vote blue then his grandkids would not have turned out to be such pussies.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

You can vote blue and still not be a pussy. the 2-party system here in US is in disarray. the left is extreme left. the right is extreme right. Things aren’t the way they were in the 60s and 70s (or so I hear). It was a lot more balanced in those days, so they say… If red had a worthy nomination, I’d vote red. once again, lesser of two evils this time around. (didn’t vote 2016 – both were terrible)

Charlie Duvall
Charlie Duvall
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Both parties suck and could care less about you, your kids, or the planet. You need to kick out of the wave of propaganda

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Duvall

I’m just trolling Otto.

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
5 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Duvall

“Kick out of the wave of propaganda”
Please don’t ever say that again.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I see….


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