Chuck.
Chuck.

Listen: World-famous big wave skier Chuck Patterson confronts alleged woman abuser in parking lot, becomes face of hot new superhero franchise!

Look at that wave... it's a bird, it's a plane, it's a man skiing Mavericks!

I cannot imagine that you missed it, but in case you did, world-famous big wave skier Chuck Patterson confronted a girlfriend/wife-abusing man over the weekend and posted footage of the exchange to his Instagram.

The scene, pure Orange County noir, playing out under street lights in t-shirt warmth.

Chuck Patterson is wearing a long-sleeved flannel and flat-ish brimmed hat.

He describes the action, well, and let us soak it all in first.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLZT5WmntbQ/

I don’t normally post things like this but last night’s situation really bothered me. Date night took a turn after watching an abusive scene go on for way too long at the restaurant. It’s too easy to look the other way and not say anything but you could tell that she was so scared, and I don’t blame her. We cut dinner short to try and do the right thing. My girlfriend Trish tried talking with her in the parking lot while she was waiting for him in the car; in hopes to empower her in feeling safe and strong and that it’s not ok to be treated like this and letting her know we were there to help. He came out and after a few words we watched them drive off, but we were worried for her safety and decided to follow him and found the right moment to let him know no man can ever treat a woman this way. Apologies for the profanity; just about lost it!!Sadly this happens to so many people, and it’s rapidly on the rise in these challenging times. If you are in an abusive relationship, please know there is help. Don’t spend another night scared, feeling helpless. And if you see something, don’t stand on the sidelines, STAND UP, you can make a difference… do something about it, if it’s safe to do so. The National Domestic Violence Hotline 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Now, can you deny the man the world most needs is Chuck Patterson?

On the scene whenever justice is in demand?

He would absolutely smoke The Silver Surfer.

A Marvel franchise that would make The Incredible Hulk green with envy.

The Chuck Patterson.

After a two week hiatus, David Lee Scales and I discuss the future of superhero films, how the WSL has failed, VAL stuff, David Lee being trained to surf by a master etc.

Best show yet?

No.

No it is not.

Worth a listen?

Party Pete?


The waves at Alaïa Bay, set up with forty-six motors, are going to be that much better than the Melbourne Urbnsurf facility, with a slightly smaller pool size translating into slightly bigger, and more powerful waves.

Swiss Wave pool built at the base of Chamonix ski resort set to open in weeks!

Bigger than Melbourne's Urbnsurf, less crowds etc.

Switzerland came twenty-third out of fifty-four teams in the ISA World Games in 2019. Great Britain was 20th, Philippines 21st, the Netherlands were 22nd.

Just below Switzerland were Ecuador, Barbados, Ireland, Fiji and Morocco.

Not a bad result then, for a nation without a coastline.

However, in the time of wave tanks, they have decided to build their own piece of coast.

Sion, in Valais, is a sunny little town nestled in the foot of the Alps. It is well-known as the area in Switzerland that receives the most sunlight annually. It is at the foot of famous ski resorts like Zermatt and Chamonix and does have quite wonderful views.

In Sion, Alaïa Bay is soon to turn on engines and make some waves for visitors and locals.  

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLXCg9-KroH/

Alaïa Bay founder, Adam Bonvin, is a twenty-five-year-old surfer, who had the idea of building a wave pool in Switzerland when he was 18-years-old and traveling.

“I have always loved snowboarding, but when I discovered surfing I was hooked,” said Bonvin on his motivation behind building the Alaïa Bay facility. “The idea for the Alaïa Bay pool actually came to me after a surf trip to Hossegor in France.”

There has been much planning, as well as dealing with all the COVID details and protocols, but all is set for the grand opening in April.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CKjZMeMKHIh/

The Alaïa Bay management opened up tickets for pre-0pening sessions, and they were offered in various packages and at different prices. Those pre-op tickets valid for the pre-opening period were immediately sold out.

There are two main payment structures: pay per session or join the Alpine Surf Club, pay a premium, and receive extra sessions and reduced rates. The Alpine Surf Club offers several membership options, much like the Gold memberships at Melbourne.

A big diff with Melbourne’s UrbnSurf is the number of surfers in the water. An expert session in Switzerland will consist of eight surfers on the left and right on the right, with a wave count of about twelve waves in the session.

The advanced sessions will consist of eleven surfers per side, and about thirteen waves per session.

In Melbourne, the numbers are eighteen and twelve.

Your wave count will be above ten rides for a fifty-five-minute session. That’s a wave every five minutes.

In today’s crowds, some people would be ecstatic with that wave count.

The Wavegarden Cove set up is modular, and the number of modules, which is the number of motors, effects the length and quality of ride.

The waves at Alaïa Bay, set up with forty-six motors, are going to be that much better than the Melbourne Urbnsurf facility, with a slightly smaller pool size translating into slightly bigger, and more powerful waves.

How cold is the joint going to get?  Everyone asks about the water temperatures.

For a location like Sion to have good snowboarding and ski locations twenty minutes away, the temperatures will drop through the middle of winter.

Still, good rubber and warm facilities will see any stoked surfer through the coldest patch. We all know that wetsuit quality and tech are excellent. Surfers are getting barrelled in Iceland, Norway, Kamchatka and Scotland.

In the height of summer, there are about sixteen hours of sunlight in Sion, the air temps get into the high thirties (nineties Fahrenheit)  with all sorts of heat-wave warnings and advice, like ‘stay indoors’ and ‘stay hydrated’ etc.

Surfers however, will use any sort of heatwave excuse to disrobe and surf in boardshorts and bikinis.

So there is that.


Witness: Great White Sharks stalk SUP pilots sporting “extra-juicy dad bods” off the coast of sunny Santa Barbara!

Shark incident.

There has been so much turmoil, such mess, around the winter of our World Surf League’s discontent that typical billboard material has been left on floor. I was, for instance reminded, in Cedar Hobb’s glorious timeline, of CEO Erik Logan calling a fatal Tiger hit at Honolua Bay a “shark incident.”

“Shark incident.”

Mick Fanning gets back on the ski and resets.

Shark incident.

In any case, two SUP pilots sporting extra-juicy dad bods were stalked off Santa Barbara’s sunny coast over the weekend. The moment was captured by outdoor photographer Adam Ernster who wrote on Instagram, “Respectfully enjoying nature is one of my favorite things about living in Santa Barbara. Whether you’re a fisherman, surfer, or avid hiker, SB brings together a passionate community of like minded nature lovers. Although great white sharks deserve tremendous respect and space, it’s always inspiring watching the locals safely interact with these apex predators. Sharks worldwide are going to need our help to survive into the 21st century and beyond. Connecting and coexisting with beautiful predators is the name of the game if we want to progress peacefully into the future.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLSyJ73hvUw/

If one of the like-minded nature loving SUPpers would have slipped and fallen into the drink, do you think the Great White would have enjoyed his snack?

I think probably no. I think, of all the sorts of bods out there, dad bods are the least tasty.

Much beer basting.

Shark incident.


Rumor: World Surf League jettisons Big Wave World Tour as reeling organization continues to be buffeted by utter lack of imagination!

Poor management has a new name.

Now that we have fully celebrated professional surfing’s return with Australia birthing a quadrennial of fabulous little surfboard events, it is time to turn our attention back to the carcasses lining our World Surf League’s recent path.

Oh, I know that “quadrennial” means “occurring once every four years” but I like the word better than fourgie or quartet and, as an applied linguist, am allowed to do whatever I want.

Officially.

In any case, carcasses. Sunset Beach and Santa Cruz are both fully bloated. I have heard nothing about a re-vamped professional longboard tour-ette.

Big waves?

A source very close to Santa Monica’s levers of power declares, “Done been cancelled.”

Apparently, Bill Sharp has been let go. The spikey-haired fellow has long been the face of hot big wave action, championing XXL Awards and sorting a proper series featuring Jaws, Mavericks, Nazaré, maybe etc.

He is now out in that big wave community trying to sort some non-WSL way forward.

A well-known big wave person corroborates, saying, he/she can’t get any news on the Big Wave Awards this year even though eleven months into it with surfers, and their trusty photographers, doing the hard work during the best big wave season in recent memory.

As a student of history, you certainly recall when the World Surf League promised big wavers much better than they had ever seen.

A world of riches etc.

Now, nothing. Not even a courtesy call and a proper shame.

Will there be any takers for a big wave bacchanal?

ESPN?

The Australian government?

Also, does losing big waves dent the World Surf League’s claim of being “The Global Home of Surfing?”

Much to ponder.

More as the story develops.


Shock: World surfing champion Mick Fanning fails to earn expected millions from sale of apartment building on Coolangatta’s “golden mile”!

An important lesson in the caprices of the Australian property market… 

One week ago, it was reported that Mick Fanning, noted survivor of a Great White attack and three-time world champion, had listed one of his Coolangatta apartment buildings for sale.

Mick, who is forty-one, bought the joint at 213 Boundary Street, Coolangatta, for $3.1 million in 2007 and, last year, turned the old red-brick fifties build into something a little easier on potential buyers’ eyes with soothing vanilla interiors, black faucets, wooden flooring and with breeze-block walls enclosing patios.

Square black taps, a lesson in edgy chic or the height of provincial vulgarity?
Real good spot.

There are two three-bedroom apartments, each with its own studio or granny flat, two garages, and the building squats on five-thousand square feet.

Mick also owns the building next door, which he bought for 2005 for $1.39 million and another two doors down, bought for $1.2 million in 2006.

The selling agent described the joint as a “luxurious homestead” and told buyers y’could rent the big apartments out for eight hundred dollars a week and you’d get five hundred for the tiny joints underneath ‘em.

Given the hot property market on the GC, I was thinking high-fours, maybe five mill.

Let’s do a lil maths.

Mick bought in at three-point-one, dropped maybe five hundred on the reno, add in buying and selling costs, and you’d expect a profit of around one to two million bucks.

Not a bad earn, but not spectacular either after thirteen years.

The result? $2.86 mill.

One-forty thou’ less than the 2007 buying price, add in thirteen years of rates, maintenance and whatever else, and, ooowee, y’got a stinker.

The auction started real slow with an opening hit of one-point-five as the auctioneer warned buyers and onlookers that photos and video were banned.

A bit of back and forth and the price stalled at 2.55 mill.

Agent called Mick.

Ten minutes later, auction was back on and at 2.75 mill it hit the reserve.

Then, strategic hits of one and five thousand-dollar bids as two buyers duked it out.

Eventually, $2.826 mill got the place.

Lesson: not all real estate, even in Australia, and especially the notoriously fickle Gold Coast, is destined for great things.