Dreams come true.
Can you believe our World Surf League heroes and heroines (she/him/it/them/my/me/they) are back to action in less than 24 hours? Oh the dreamy the Rip Curl Narabeen Classic presented by Corona. Mick “White Lightning” Fanning paddling for the first time since un-retiring. Tyler “Black Lives Matter” Wright attempting to avenge an ugly loss just up the coast in Newcastle.
The Voice of Professional Surfing Joe Turpel in the booth, hand jamming.
What could be better but I know a watched pot never boils and this less than 24 hours will seem like an absolute eternity.
Thankfully we have technology.
As just revealed, the very same Joe Turpel is on the celebrity shout-out app Cameo. It appears his specialities are birthday celebrations, pep talks and roasts. Shall I transcribe the roast (delivered lounging vaguely sexy on a bed)?
I think yes.
Terry, what’s happening? It’s Joe Turpel just uhhhh thinking about New Zealand…gosh how good the waves are there. The place is unreal. I did a trip there… gosh… it’s been since 2015. Did the Raglan thing, went a little bit south but gosh it’s good there. I think the waves are still really fun… over there in Doncaster, UK. That’s a good spot to stay in the water all the time so… Terry? What are you doin? The kids are back at school, Becky needs you out of the house. I know you’re old but get out there and try to keep up with Pete. Happy belated birthday (insane laugh). Carl, you’re a legend.
Terry severely burned and all for $30.
What would you have Joe Turpel say for $30?
The world is your oyster.*
*I truly wish that celebrities who sign up to be on Cameo must, per contract, say whatever it is sent their way. A business opportunity for us?
Cancelmeo?