Not a dry eye in the house.
Yesterday, I watched more professional surfing than I have in years. North County, San Diego was locked under a grey canopy, cold winds buffeting a flat ocean, and I thought to myself, “Why not fully indulge the Rip Curl Rottnest Search presented by Corona?”
And so I did, taking in most of heats one through eleven. And I have come away from the binge thinking “The World Surf League has just conducted one of the greatest pieces of dadaist theater in professional sporting history” out loud to you.
The great Longtom already wrapped beautifully, highlighting the nonsense, the irrationality of Taj Burrow sitting for an entire heat before putting up a score Mark Zuckerberg could best. The anti-bourgeois protest of Professor Lenny Collard talking about the brave Aboriginals who fought, died, were imprisoned in mass graves facing the “invasion of ocean-borne forces.”
Joe Turpel responding, “Very cool stories, Uncle.”
“Uncle” telling the World Surf League that it would not be invited back.
My favorite moment, though, came nearly two hours in when the World Surf League’s production team made a conscious decision to film what can only be described as Jordy Smith giving water birth to Wade Carmichael in the midst of their heat with Stu Kennedy.
Slo-motion.
Tell me this was not done on purpose, an avant-garde moment, a riff on our current state of affairs.
Something about gender, maybe.
Or not.
Very cool indeed.
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That was almost the only part of the contest I actually saw, clicked it on and saw the birth , ha ha , i actually thought that was a really fucking weird scene, glad someone else picked up on it too .
Could also have been Jordy releasing Wade from carbonite?
Holy shit! I just seen this now and this has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen the wozz squeeze out. Sublime.
Oh man, just want to say this is hilarious.
Not a water birth
A common grog bog propelled
By beer and biltong
Lol kkk
Can you believe this guy??
What a tool
This is so… Macunaíma!
Already done before!
Claim Master it’s a eternal promise, always late!
jordy’s nipples may be cross-eyed, but his fallopian tubes are indubitably intact and capable of generating a fully-bearded bogan
and let me thank you for the updated emoji for the emoji-less
What are you getting at?
ha i was very distracted by the comments flowing very fast not really focusing on the actual surf then back from a snack break tv was magically frozen in that frame hence the photo on open thread & the rest is history lol…
I wasn’t watching at the time but my bro yelled out, “shit ya come gotta come and see this, a whale just surfaced beside Jordy”.
Whale Carmichael, that is…
Surprised Jordy didnt claim it
Giving birth? I don’t think that’s what goes through the mind of the average jaded BG reader, when they see this photo.
Giving girth?
And then spitting on him because he’s liking it…
You couldn’t see, but I’m fairly certain Wade emerged Breech Grit.
Good thing Stu was there to severe the umbilical cord.