We all have gifts.
We, each nationality here, have skills and abilities gifted to us by our country of origin. Americans are very best at being boringly arrogant, Australians number one at broadcasting a party vibe while internally craving rigid control. Brazilians dance free though emotionally hair-triggered, the British have entirely given up, Scots mock the lack of will behind the British version of “giving up,” the French have invested all in making a perfect flat tire sound with lips and South Africans are mercenaries.
Oh the very best mercenaries in the entire world.
Executive Outcomes is one of the more famous group, founded in 1989 and traipsing across the rest of Africa fighting fights not theirs, but there have been many South African mercenaries and all are good, or, rather, skilled.
Which brings us to surfing. Our lineups are overcrowded, control has been lost. Even the grumpiest local who dreams of enforcing fears the inevitable lawsuit which brings us to the point.
South African mercenaries.
They are flown in, restore order by punching out a handful of fins, pointing a handful of VALs to the beach, gather up a handful of court appointments then head home pockets stuffed with money, mercenary hearts fulfilled.
Good, no?
I floated this on the Grit! podcast a few weeks ago but it was just gloriously embellished by a listener. Who, for example, stuffs the mercenary’s pocket full of money?
Ahhhh. That’s where he came in, from the parking lot of his DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) with the greatest idea to hit surf since the mid-tour cull.
It hits at the 1:02 mark but you should come in earlier than that because David Lee and I discuss Dave Prodan.
Listen here.
Leonardo DiCaprio could not have fucked that accent up any worse than he did.
Most white Rhodesians became South Africans, then Australian.
Just saying they have financial motivation to keep screaming the sky is falling whilst the Klamath winter king run is functionally extinct. The few fish that make it will NEVER see their spawning grounds till the dam comes down.
All I can say is Fish and Wildlife is criminality negligent. They have sweet fuck all idea of how to manage the resource and have been infiltrated by for profit conservationists. Their “best available data” is shit. Last year they said there were only 250k Kings in the water so we could only fish a few days. We whacked 250k in 3 days and the returns still choked the rivers. There mission statement is resource management, not just conservation.
Allowing the public to vote would catapult Ben Gravy onto the World Tour.
Also the mercenary thing is a bad idea. You’d eventually just end up with rich kooks hiring ex-navy seals to hassle dudes off waves.
Hey TN, if you are in the bay area and want fresh purple urchins, my buddy sell them off the boat on weekends. Last of the comm urch divers in the area.
You can call the harbor master and ask what’s for sale at the dock/ use fishlineapp.
Lived in Phoenix at the time. Our extreme then was riding schwinn or huffy framed bmxs on the tracks that were just being built, going over the light at the “pink sink” pool on my steel decked banzai skateboard, and of course….Big Surf
Should keep this one going, could be interesting
Yes in the round with Wakeman
Does “Go for it” count?
-Earth, Wind, and Fire with the parents as a tyke.
-The Performers…at a surf contest after party (1986).
GTA Jo’burg. Yeah I reckon this guy could clear the linup chas.
Video is worth watching if you haven’t seen it…
https://www.badassoftheweek…
I feel like this should be your song:
https://youtu.be/qGNojF9qKS0
(Chas and Dave – Rabbit (1981))
I think it’ll be more American to bring the mercenaries to someone else’s spot. No?
Do I have to pay them in Rand or diamonds?
Any guns behind the bar?
Or just young guns
your forays to the edge of lucidity keep me intrigued
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://youtu.be/pHksWGeklUA
Lots of poms gonna be triggered by the suggestion that Scots arent British.
Saffa mercenaries are hardcore (google that guy driving the car during the attempted heist… wow) but Colombian mercenaries did just whack the president of Haiti.
Every Colombian I know (many) always has some really heavy story involving violence. Guy I know got paid a 1kg block of coke for sticking up for a guy he didn’t know who was getting bashed. “We fought until we couldnt fight anymore”. Got absolutely caned by the other guys. Turned out the guy he stuck up for was connected to the narcos. Hence the payment. Gave half back to the narcos and had a party. Said “that party followed me around like flies for days!”
Only the English are truly British, the rest are pure mercy
You sit there with your laptop and your big bottles of vodka and you think its gonna change the outcome, huh?
Let me tell you smthn
Your second book blew
And you?…what do you drink whilst at the laptop?
Bucks fizz.
Delish!!
Really?!….Classic!…quite metro
If one needs to pay
Someone else to fight their fight
It’s not worth fighting
populaces for
all time have done exactly
that ‘er loathsome deed
Ummm, We have Our own “private security contractors”, thanks any way.
Leave it to Chas to suggest paying someone to fight his fights. I bet you wished you had a mercenary by your side when Ashton punched you.
You miss the point. Ain’t the fight that anyone fears. It’s the lawsuit that follows see: Ash calling cops.
Surely it’d be criminal charges that you’d face from assault, not civil suit (which aren’t the concern of the police) charges.
And as long as you don’t do it on a regular basis, criminal assault charges against ones name never really hurt in the long run.
P.S.
And can even get you free beers (or in your case vodka) etc etc from those who wanted to (but didn’t) give the other party a good clip around the ear’oles…
The only reasonable situation where I can see mercenaries in the water if when tech bros “disrupt” surfing etiquette by monetizing and charging for individual waves. They can hire some ex navy seals to do the hassling for them. They will present it as this revolutionary new thing but it’s just going to be a shittier version of localism where how much you pay determines which waves you get instead of time spent or ability.
Ouch.