Hyper-woke surf website The Inertia posts shocking racist, agist screed: “Instead of trying to defend our little pockets of ‘localized’ surf where a few old white dudes seem to think they deserve more waves than anyone else, maybe it’s time we give in to the flush of kookery!”

First they came for the old white men...

Hyper-woke surf-adjacent website The Inertia shocked its reading public, today, by posting a shockingly snarling racist and agist screed.

The piece, carrying the title “An Ode to the Low-Performance Surf Break,” began as a wonderfully panfoam celebration of quality-fluid waves.

Good vibes etc.

A The Inertia specialty lulling the reader into that comfortable place they are used to.

But then, without warning, the author bared teeth and sunk fans into a protected class.

Old people.

Also those who identify as “white” or “male.”


Instead of trying to defend our last little pockets of “localized” surf where a few old white dudes seem to think they deserve more waves than anyone else, maybe it’s time to give in to the flush of kookery and remember why we’re surfing in the first place — for fun.


What is this “flush of kookery?”

Like a pogrom?

Mob carrying flaming torches going parking lot to parking lot rounding up old white men talking grouchy talk etc.?

Well, very disturbing in any case.

David Lee Scales did not talk about The Inertia when we met for our weekly chat, yesterday, but we did speak about ridding Kauai of interlopers.

Maybe the Flush of Kookery is a good idea?

Listen here

@jackfreestone Instagram
@jackfreestone Instagram

Australian surfer, heartthrob, Jack Freestone lashes out at Rip Curl after release of body-inclusive bikini fit guide: “Wow the audacity of this stupid company… Where was this campaign when two of your biggest team riders decided to start the chapter of motherhood? Bunch of hypocrites.”

"She can't be photographed next to the 18 year old models."

The Gold Coast’s Jack Freestone has quietly become one of my favorite surfers over the years. Tall, fearless, talented with an enviable top turn and also one half of the world’s cutest couple.

Freestone and Alana Blanchard have been together for many years, have two adorable children and split time between Jack’s Australia and Blanchard’s Kauai. The idyllic life funded, in part, by Billabong (Freestone’s main sponsor) and, in times past, Rip Curl, Alana’s sponsor of a decade and a half until the Torquay-based brand pulled the plug last-ish year.


Blanchard released a to-camera video soon after the breakup wherein she said, “As some of you probably already noticed, I’m no longer sponsored by Rip Curl. It was kind of a big change for me from going from being sponsored my whole life, pretty much since I was like 14 to now not having a main sponsor. As a professional surfer that’s a huge thing. As excited as I am for change and what’s to come it’s definitely a little bit scary and I think that it’s affecting me a little bit more than what I thought. Things ended OK with them, they pretty much stopped using me after I had Banks, or found out that I was pregnant. They really didn’t like that I had a kid.”

Lightly problematic, in this day, with the underlying assumption being a mother’s body is not the right “look.”

Well, Rip Curl has apparently woke up and just released a thoroughly modern body-inclusive bikini fit guide featuring women of all shapes and sizes.

Heart-warming except a little too performative what with the Blanchard dismissal still not cool?

Jack Freestone certainly thought so, taking to Instagram to lambast Rip Curl, artfully penning, “Wow! The audacity of this stupid company. I say and spoke with Alana multiple times as she felt berated by Rip Curl as they said stuff like, “She can’t be photographed next to the 18 year old models,” “We only care about results not how many followers you have” or made her feel bad for breast feeing her child at a photo shoot, or even docking her pay because she was pregnant and couldn’t be used for a photo shoot basically making it so difficult for her to feel normal and low and behold they do a campaign like this. Which I’m sure a lot of these women are probably mothers. Where was this campaign when 2 of your biggest team riders decided to start the chapter of motherhood?? There was no acceptance, no help, no understanding of the situation. Just Hmmm no you’re a mother now and that basically means you’re not marketable. I support and love this movement but not this company. Bunch of hypocrites.”

Direct and to the point.


Should Rip Curl respond?

Oh, companies never do but how wonderful would it be to see the brand apologize with a hefty new contract for Blanchard?

Performative no more.

A boy can dream.

In unexpected yet joyous news, anti-depressive online surf journal BeachGrit gets shortlisted for “Top Most Promising Health Sites for 2021!”

Celebrate with us!

I don’t usually like to stand on stage and bathe in applause, nor does my life partner Derek Rielly, but we will both make an exception today for today your BeachGrit was officially shortlisted as a “Top Most Promising Health Site for 2021.”

Per the just received notification:

Hey there!

This is Mercy from Li Creative Technologies, We’re very happy to inform you that ‘beachgrit’ has been shortlisted by our editorial board which will be included and honored as “Top Most Promising Health Sites For 2021”.

This article with one page profile of selected blog owners will be included to all our newsletter readers. This is a focus on Health Bloggers, which will rank in google for all top Health keywords shortly.

We believe that addition of ‘beachgrit’ in this honor list and a small line about your website in the post may help ‘beachgrit’ differentiate from its competitors.

I’d like to speak to the concerned person from your firm at the earliest to finalize ‘beachgrit’ inclusion in this list.

This is a very unique promotion proposal; we hope ‘beachgrit’ makes full use of it.

Waiting to know what you think on the same.



Was it the think-pieces on Laird Superfood that pushed us over the top of one-time rivals The Inertia?

Poignant examinations of Kelly Slater’s “miracle of information?”

I would assume Li Creative Technologies keeps its voting blend secret but keep your fingers crossed for us while applauding.

What a beautiful world!

Nobody…leaves… BeachGrit. Only way you going out is in a box or in a hail of bad feelz.

World’s best pro surfing analyst sensationally quits BeachGrit, “Not one writer has gone out on their own terms. Two in a pine box, the rest in a hail of recriminations and bad feelz!”

"I've never understood how surf journalism has always identified with the interests of the few (subjects) against the many (readers). That's always seemed ass about to me."

I’m outta here comrades.

Firstly, who don’t love a goodbye post and the truth is, for a BG writer it’s a luxury no-one has yet been able to afford.

Not one gone out on their own terms. Two in a pine box, the rest in a hail of recriminations and bad feelz.

So, to quote the old pseudo-goth Nick Cave: “If this is heaven a’hm bailing out.”

And, it is a kind of heaven for surf writers.

My BeachGrit tenure began with a very strong need for quick cash on Malolo Island during a two-week stint chasing Cloudbreak every day. Dummies like me and my Bribie pal got our money changed to cash then left the door ajar to the shack we were staying in. A missing pack of Gudangs being used to mix into bush weed alerted us to the fact we had been robbed and now we had a gargantuan bar bill to deal with and no cash to pay for it. 

I penned a quick story about fun times for the mug punter at Cloudbreak and Derek Rielly graciously offered to pay me for it.

It didn’t cover the bar bill but it did begin a wonderful relationship with the Grit and its principals and readers.

My real wife often refers to Rielly as my second wife, such has been his fidelity and capacity in making a gal feel special. 

Always a kind word, a prompt payment, a succession of paperbacks to ease a down day. Provide some special inspiration. Houellebecq, Easton-Ellis, Wilfred Thesiger. They’d just show up. A little leg up in the struggle to make (this surfing) life free and beautiful and hard-core. 

What does a writer want? Readers.

What does a writer need? Money.

BeachGrit provided both. Very, very grateful for that. Very blessed to the man upstairs since it all began. I’m not a believer myself but if I were then I would thank him profusely.

From Fiji, through a thousand and one late nights covering the Tour, it’s been the battle with the horror of the blank screen to the tune of……I haven’t counted but I’d have to be a two-hundred gamer. It’s a silly thing to be proud of, but I am. 


Anything involving Gabe Medina, Kelly’s Golden Ascent into near Omniscience/Omnipotence, Bells 2019 when live commenting was intro’ed here, the big unruly day when pro surfers looked like little kids with toy surfboards left under the Christmas tree, Fiji when it was on, Pipe.

Not everything has been good but I know if the premise is off or the arguments are weak I’ll get whacked below the line. Which is exactly the way it should be.

Every time I suit up, I try my hardest to make it worth someone’s while to read the words. Not for the Woz or the five per centers. For the people that read it.

I’ve never understood how surf jernalizm as a whole has always identified with the interests of the few (subjects) against the many (readers).

That’s always seemed ass about to me.

And the talent below the line proves there is nothing special at all about the “professional” surf writer. Each man, woman and child below the line has proved they can do the job above the line.

Who would have thought, for example, that innovations in surf-lit would come from the Bogswamps of Scotland, glistening with heroin and deep-fried Mars bars.

I never felt animosity below the line from those who oppose my (fringe) political views. Not for a second.

I felt, like Orwell in his review of Mein Kampf, that I could find something likeable and appealing in what was a source of outrage for others. In all, the comments were/are a blast and I shall return with joy to the business of below the line.

Oh, I’m not going far. Got a full-time gig with Swellnet. Australian indy business. Very happy about it too. Time to get a job.

Everything will roll forwards, like it always does.

BeachGrit staples will remain. Chas will make mischief, Derek will wield the sexual metaphor with unprecedented dexterity, new writers will rise up.  

Lastly, for anyone contemplating Tour coverage, I say: don’t be a fucking idiot, but if you do a handy rule of thumb is to say the opposite of what the Woz says.

Following that simple guideline you will be in the ballpark of truth more often than not.

Sayonara sweet swamis.

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Ultimate surfing!